The unpredictable predictions

By Ramesh K. Dhiman

THE most voraciously-read column of a newspaper that I summarily skip is the weekly astrological predictions. The simple reason for my becoming disinterested in this otherwise delightful pastime is that I do not want my peaceful life to be encroached upon by any misgiving-pleasant or unpleasant-that might crop up after reading a particular prediction.

Notwithstanding my aversion, I once fell for an astrological guide that I had come across at a bookshop. I was torn between two options — to buy or not to buy. The guide was loaded with latest information on "You and your stars" authored by a "celebrated" star-gazer. The very urge to know about "what is in store for me in the year ahead" whetted my curiosity to buy the guide. Greatly pleased with the "rare" possession, I returned home weaving, in my heart of hearts, dreams of a rosy future.

Reaching home, I quickly retired to the bedroom on the pretext that I was indisposed and needed complete and uninterrupted rest for a couple of hours. I sat snuggled in a quilt, fantasising my future plans, with my curious eyes transfixed on the pages of the glossy. I wished I could finish the entire guide in just one go. I, like a megalomaniac, flipped its pages and kept jotting down the favourable signs, lucky days and suggested colours Librans had to chose to ensure a bonanza of prosperity for themselves.

As I was leafing through the pages of the glossy, I came across, to my utter satisfaction, a classified guideline, clamouring "Important dos and don’ts: Precautions and priorities for the Librans". I found myself in the seventh heaven of joy as I snappily read the opening lines of this portion of the guide. Interestingly though, the first three months of the year that followed, predicting "sound health" for the Librans, came true, as I don’t recollect having suffered from any serious ailment, except for minor headache or a bout of viral fever or bad cold, once in a blue moon. The next months prognosticated a virtual glut of matrimonial proposals for the eligible Librans. This prediction too came true, as my long-awaited marriage to the doe-eyed damsel of my dreams got through.

The first few months of the latter half of the year had in store "lots" and "pots" of joys for the Librans. I nearly missed a heartbeat as I came across yet another important guideline at the fag-end of the glossy, predicting "a real windfall and good luck". "The Librans may also win a lucky raffle draw", it screamed. I turned wild with excitement and passionately pecked the guide. I eagerly looked forward to the fateful day when I would become a "Lakhpati".

Days slipped by with my cardinal curiosity soaring high. I, unlike any other man with meagre means of earning, had pinned rosy hopes for a better "tomorrow" which would never be.

"Coming events cast...", aptly sums up the popular proverb. On my home front too, "the coming events started showing discernible signs-the domineering spouse of a wannabe Lakhpati, had, much to my pleasant surprise, undergone a sea change in terms of her behaviour, with the routine husband-wife rumble-tumble surreptitiously slipping into the backwaters. Her metamorphosis from a nagging spouse to an out-and-out submissive, and incredibly caring wife left me a trifle flummoxed.

Then, one fine evening, during a routine stroll (my wife was with me through the stationery mart, I spotted a steady stream of wannabe Lakhpatis. Like me storming a wayside lottery stall. I surged straight to the stall. As the milling crowd of lottery-buffs thinned, I made it to the Lotterywala and bought a ticket with the suggested numerals. The result of the raffle draw had to be published in a premier English daily of the region.

On that fateful morning, when the result of the lottery draw had to be announced, I got up very early out of sheer curiosity that had been weighing on my mind ever since I had bought the ticket. In quick succession, the pre-dawn eerie silence was shattered with the buzz of the call bell. I quickly made it to the door. The buzz went on. I opened the door to receive, much to my pleasant surprise, a beaming buddy, clutching in his hand a newspaper clipping. And, before I could wish him a quicky "good morrow", he hopped joyously and held me in his tight embrace. "Congrats, Ramesh, you have won the first prize of the special raffle draw..." showing me the newspaper clipping, he exclaimed ecstatically. I was all agog and so was my spouse. To make it doubly sure, I took out the original ticket from my wallet and tallied the number with the one in print, with trembling hands.

More swiftly than the wild fire, the happy tidings about my turning Lakhpati travelled to the colony and the surrounding areas. My friends and other acquaintances started pouring in to share the exciting moment with their "millionaire" friend, caring little for the biting chilly winds of December.

The excitement subsided and the jostling crowd of friends and other well-wishers dispersed. We retired to our bedroom, completely worked-up. My spouse and I sat well past midnight preparing a list of "priorities" of items to be "possessed" with the "prize" money. The top 10 priorities that figured prominently in the list included a baronial bungalow with all modern facilities; white Tata Sumo equipped with AC and hi-fi music system, an assortment of trendy garments and choicest, chic jewellery for my better-half and so on. The list of priorities was endless, indeed!

The following morning was awfully hectic, what with receiving impromptu visitors and seeing them off; dashing off telegraphic messages to all near and dear ones, informing them about my becoming Lakhpati overnight. Packets of ladoos were lavishly distributed among neighbours and other acquaintances, and of course, a few bouts of booze were enjoyed with a selected few. It cost me my full month’s salary.

I waited for the fateful day when I had to be presented the "Prize cheque" at a solemn function. I could not have a wink of sleep the previous night. We woke up at the first crow of the cock. My wife quickly prepared tea which we both sipped to our hearts’ content. As I was getting ready for the occasion, the call bell buzzed. "Babuji, here is the today’s newspaper...", the newspaper hawker hollered. I quickly riffed through the pages and ran a cursory look at the headlines. In the course, my curious eyes got stuck up at an advertisement screaming in big words "Lottery Corrigendum". I perfunctorily started reading the message contained in the corrigendum, which briefly read: "... the number of the prize winning ticket carried in the issued’ of the paper dated so and so was wrong. The correct number be read as..."

The announcement left a wannabe Lakhpati and my wife shattered for words. Shell-shocked as I was, I stumbled and fell flat on the ground. I had to be rushed to a nearby dispensary for first aid, my wife later confided.

I had to borrow Rs 800 from a friend to procure provisions for the month that followed and meet other sundry expenses!

Why is Ramazan a holy month?

By Mansoor Durrani

THERE is universal consensus on at least one point that Allah or God or Parmatma is the Creator of all human beings. According to Islamic faith, he has created mankind, he has also sent instructions to them as to how they should lead their lives. These instructions have been sent periodically through various apostles and are preserved in the form of holy books. Last of that series of books, still in its original form, is the Koran.

Unlike other religious scriptures, the Koran is not all about prayers and rituals. On the contrary, it declares the entire human life as a prayer, if it is led according to Islamic guidelines. The Koran enlightens man on matters ranging from economics, politics, diplomacy, war and peace, family life, social life and to some extent the world history. But if one is asked to summarise the teachings of the Koran in a single word, one could say it helps in "character-building".

Every single ibadat (act of worship) is meant to achieve this goal. Praying five times a day; fasting one month a year; paying mandatory charity (zakat) annually; performance of Haj once in a lifetime are aimed towards developing self-restraint and as a consequence, having a stronger character.

The holy month of Ramazan, according to the Koran is a month in which it was revealed. Therefore, Muslims, the world over, thank Allah for His guidance in the form of the Koran by undertaking month-long exercise of character-building. More specifically, the Koran states: Fasting has been made mandatory for you, as it was done for your predecessors, so that you develop taqwa (self-restraint). Every Muslim man or woman, from the age of 12 years, must start fasting. Only exceptions in which relaxation or skipping is allowed, according to the Koran are during sickness and travelling. But the missed fasts must be kept at some other suitable time, after Ramazan.

Now, how does fasting for a month help in developing self-restraint? The Islamic calendar is based on the lunar system. On the appearance of the crescent of Ramazan, Muslims commence their annual training to control three of the strongest human urges, namely hunger, sleep and sexual desires.

In the early part of the night, Muslims offer long prayers (taraveeh). This is a must, regardless of how hectic the daily business is. After these long prayers, they are not supposed to have a sound and long sleep. After taking a few hours nap, they have to get up before dawn and after eating something (sahr); they offer morning prayers (fajr). This marks the beginning of the fast. During the day, they are not supposed to eat or drink anything, not even a drop of water. Carnal acts are also prohibited during the day.

In a nutshell, all normal activities of daily business are rescheduled. Just after sundown, Muslims break their fast (Iftaar) and after a gap of two hours, they again march towards mosques for taraveeh prayers. The entire Koran is recited, within the month of Ramazan, during these long prayers.

This schedule is meant to prepare Muslims to spend a disciplined and regulated life throughout the year. An individual’s control on these three human needs certainly helps him to become a better human being. This schedule is not repeated merely for two or three days or a week, but for one whole month. Additionally, Islamic teachings encourage Muslims to spend heavily on orphans, widows and other deprived and under privileged sections of society, during the month of Ramazan.

This is precisely how Islam wants to groom and transform ordinary human beings into high-quality, tolerant and God-fearing individuals.