You cannot begin to live... unless you dare to die
By Taru Bahl

GREAT wars are fought and won, countries run and administered, sporting records set and superseded, human interest causes advocated and fought for, and physical disabilities are overcome by those who are not necessarily endowed with super energy, stamina and opportunities. Rather, by people who could well be as ordinary as you and me. Yet, how many of us lay down our lives for a cause or leave our footprints in the sands of time?

Forget achievements and accolades, we fail to even stand stoically by our convictions and values. We prefer taking a neutral stance, adopting the middle-of-the -road approach, instead of fighting for what we believe to be correct. We make compromises, swallow our pride, get intimidated in the face of adversity, bend rather than confront, lie and even run away when the odds seem insurmountable.

Don’t we make truly courageous people any more? Men and women who have the ability to surmount their fears, complexes, insecurities and inadequacies, as they valiantly fight and staunchly stand by what they strongly believe in.

Napoleon said, "When faced with a mountain, I’ll not quit, I’ll keep on striving until I climb over, find a pass through, tunnel underneath or simply stay and turn the mountain into a gold mine, with God’s help". This is the indomitable spirit of a courageous person who combines the qualities of perseverance, confidence, expertise, infectious positive energy and humility. There is an indefatigable undertone, which takes into account the unforeseen and which intelligently plans for the worst. Courage more than anything then is the conquering of fear in all its manifestations. Fear could relate to physical danger, financial insecurity or failure.

There is an interesting story behind the maxim, "the quitter never wins and the winner never quits". Two milk vans were being loaded and two huge bullfrogs leapt into a can unaware of its depth. They were not good swimmers. One panicked and found his stamina and energy level diminishing, while the other kept flailing his arms and legs, keeping exhaustion at bay by praying and diverting his mind, thinking of all the things he would do once he got out.

When the delivery boys lifted the lid, they saw a dead frog at the bottom of one milk can and a beaming frog sitting atop a lump of white butter in the other. This story also proves that tough situations do not last, tough people do. Toughness here has a direct co-relation to courage and fearlessness.

Fear, whether logical or illogical, has that magical power to immobilise us, impair our vision and clarity of thought and most dangerously, feed on itself, magnifying the accompanying paranoia multifold. Most of the times we don’t even question ourselves as to why we feel scared, leave alone make a conscious effort to overcome it. To get the better of any fear, you have to first find the courage and will to confront it. Fear is never terrifying once you look unblinkingly into its eyes.

Many of the things which we have been taught or which we take for granted, be it our freedom or constitutional rights, were at one time radical ideas of individuals, who had the courage to believe what their hearts and minds told them was true. Their courage of conviction gave them the requisite mental, physical and spiritual strength to stand upright, get ostracised, killed and shamed if need be, but not to accept beliefs which were detrimental to the interests of their family, society or self.

Interestingly, fear is not our arch enemy or destructive force against which we need protection. If we learn to respect and channel the emotion of fear for a higher purpose, it can actually guide and protect us. Isn’t it the fear of national safety that prompts nations to turn into nuclear powers? Isn’t the fear of being left penniless in one’s old age that makes us save in our youth? Isn’t it the fear of failing in class that makes up study for our exams? It is also thanks to the grace of fear that we learn to respect the laws of nature.

Why do we not jump out of a flying airplane or thrust our hand into a bonfire/ beehive or ignore serious injuries on meeting with an accident? It is the fear of pain and scars of deformity that caution and urge us to take immediate corrective action. Once we understand that the Creator did not place fear in our hearts in order to destroy but to empower us with knowledge, wisdom and a sense of preparedness, we would find ways and means of conquering it.

People who are courageous dare to make mistakes. They know life isn’t a cakewalk. There are struggles, low phases and unfair situations. Rather than cry over what they have lost, they assess the situation based on what they still have and see how they can better that. If you go back into history and study the military tactics of war heroes, you will notice how calm and collected they were in the darkest hours of crisis. They never panicked. Even if they were scared, they did not allow their paranoia to be visible to their troops because they knew it would lead to chaos, confusion and defeat.

It is not their physical strength which made them fearless, but the fact that they had a mind, spirit and attitude which refused to be crushed. Even when death stared them in the face, they met it as only courageous people can — head on. Today, we may not need courage to fight wars, but we need it all the time to guide us through our innumerable daily conflicts and dilemmas.

It is courage which allows us to rise from the ashes like the proverbial Phoenix in times of great adversity. Courageous people are not scared of problems. They regard them as life’s learning lessons. Destiny, for them, is rarely a matter of chance and more a question of choice. Which is why they take risks, make bold decisions, are accountable for their actions, take full responsibility for their mistakes, do a realistic stocktaking of their follies and foibles and emerge victorious in the final analysis.

There was a barbaric custom blindly followed for centuries in China till one Auntie Wong defied it. It was customary to break the bones of all young girls’ feet and tightly bind them with the toes bent inwards so that they would heal into tiny deformed feet, regarded as an essential component of female beauty. Auntie Wong forbade anyone from binding her daughter’s feet. She suffered humiliation from the rulers and her own community, who felt the girl was unfit for marriage since she had no breeding and class. She was prepared for a difficult life because she knew that she had violated accepted standards of conduct but she stood her ground because she did not want to conform to a system which degraded womanhood. She was fearless, had the courage of her convictions and was prepared to face the consequences of her actions.

Today, no one disapproves of widow remarriage or approves of the practice of Sati, but when Raja Rammohan Roy stood up for the cause of women, there was a public outcry which tried to demolish not only his efforts but also snuff out his spirit. Roy, and countless other courageous people like him, appear lucky since they are always bettering their performances, targets and achievements.

It is their indestructible spirit which helps them survive and draw upon inner reserves of strength and perseverance. They always lead by example. Their credo is, "You cannot begin to live unless you dare to die". They conquer not just their bodies and physical environment but also their minds.