Kakar’s Ascetic of Desire

THE silliest and most unscientific book on sex that I have ever read is Vatsayana’s Kamasutra. There is no basis whatsoever of his dividing men and women into categories depending on the size of their genitals. Vatsayana’s categorisation of males into hares, horses and bulls and women into gazelles, mares and the elephants which was basic to his analysis of man-woman physical relationship was entirely arbitrary. So was his penchant for enumerating just about every action that brought men and women closer to each other. For him, the number 64 has some kind of mystic significance. Following Manu, he listed transgressions of caste code by the four Varnas totalling 64. How seriously can anyone today accept this kind of treatise? Kamasutra is not even good pornography, it is downright silly and often hilarious. The one thing that can be said in its favour is that it was compiled sometime around the 4th century A.D. during the so-called Golden Age of the Gupta Empire and gives the reader some idea of the free and open society of those times. It was also the time when erotic sculpture and painting flourished in different parts of the country.

Not much is known about the author of Kamasutra besides his name and that he lived in Kausambi and Varanasi and had access to the court of the ruling prince. Using extracts from his treatise, Sudhir Kakar, India’s leading psycho-analyst, has reconstructed his life and times. He has done so with the consummate skill of a master-craftsman using psycho-analytic techniques, imagination and felicitous prose to bring to life a scholar of ancient erotica who died over 1500 years ago. He uses an ingenious device of getting a young neophyte (obviously himself) who spends many days over many years in Vatsayana’s hermitage on the pretext of writing a commentary on the Kamasutra. He questions Vatsayana on contentious points like the art of seduction, foreplay etc.

If Kakar is right, Vatsayana was an illegitimate child of a wealthy tradesman and brought up in an establishment of courtesans run by two sisters, one of whom was his father’s mistress. Young Vatsayana became a favourite of his mausi (aunt). He saw the comings and goings of rich patrons, who came to see the girls sing and dance. After schooling in a gurukul he gained access to the ruler’s court and was granted a stipend to compile a definitive work on erotic arts. He was married off to the ruler’s beautiful but wayward sister-in-law many years younger than him. They retired to a hermitage at the fringe of a forest. While the Acharya was busy writing or meditating, his wife loitered around in the jungle watching birds and beasts and contemplated on life by a lily pond. On this sylvan scene arrived a young man to compile a biography of the Acharya and clarify some points of his magnum opus. After their mid-day meal when the Acharya was resting, the young student followed his guru’s wife into the forest. They became lovers. One day the Acharya came upon them and caught them. He said nothing but disappeared for ever. The young lovers fled the hermitage and the town, because an extramarital relationship between a shishya and the guru’s wife was regarded the gravest of sins. They had an illegitimate child. In short, the author of the Hindu classic on sex, Kamasutra, was himself impotent.

Not many people take Kamasutra seriously. Sudhir Kakar’s fictionalised biography of its author The Ascetic of Desire (Viking-Penguin) is a serious work which makes fascinating reading.

Scientists reject God

There are organisations in America and England which periodically carry out surveys among the scientific community regarding belief in the existence of God. The pioneer of this investigation was an American psychologist James H. Leuba. His first survey was carried out in 1914. He divided scientists in "greater" and the common run. Even more than half a century ago more than half of the 1000 scientists questioned, expressed disbelief in God; the figure of disbelievers rose to 70 per cent among "greater" scientists. During a second survey carried out in 1933, the ratio of non-believers had risen 67 per cent among "lesser" and 85 per cent among "greater" scientists. The last survey carried out this year shows that the scientists community is near unanimous in rejecting the concept of God.

The division of scientists into "greater" and "others" is not arbitrary. In the "greater" category are pioneers in different fields of scientific research and members of top institutions like the National Academy of Sciences. Among them biologists, physicists, astronomers (believers in astrology take note) have the least belief in God and life hereafter. Mathematicians are more cautious and prefer to be in the don’t-know agnostic category than positive rejectors.

I wish some organisation would carry not similar surveys in the Indian scientific community. The few Indian scientists I met believed in silly things like astrology and palmistry. I did not take them seriously. Nor did the world scientific community.

Confession

Magistrate to the accused person in the dock: "Whatever you say shall be held against you."

Accused: "Hema Malini".

(Contributed by A.V. Menon, Bangalore)

Love madness

Sardarni Banta Singh was down with high fever. She became emotional and asked," Sardarji what will you do if I die?" Banta replied instantly, "I’ll go mad."

The very relieved wife again asked; "You will not re-marry after I am gone."

"I told you I will go mad," he replied, "And mad people do mad things."

Catchy signs

Discovered written on a Maruti van in Mumbai: "If ignorance is really bliss, why aren’t most of us happy?"

A sticker on a Tata Sumo in Meerut: "Cost of living under BJP government — Income plus 20 per cent!"

A graffito on a trendy "Maruti 800" in New Mumbai: "It took a lot of will power, but finally I’ve given up trying to give up smoking!"

Seen scribbled on an Opel Astra in Delhi, "Men who plan to seek God at the 11th hour, die at 10.59!"

Notice in a Mumbai hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here!"(Contributed by Shashank Shekhar, New Mumbai)