Alleys in the jungle of life
I would rather eat the dust in the
tree-shrouded jungles than be somebody elses
stepping stone on the beaten path, says Rooma Mehra
THE alleys in the jungle of life
that run off the beaten track may be strewn with thorns,
obstacles and the like, but any day give me one of those.
I would rather eat the dust in the tree-shrouded jungles
than be somebody elses stepping stone on the beaten
path that burns under the frenzied pressure of one
fleet-footed rat-racer after another.
In reaching out to the
wrong goal, I once strayed on to the traffic-ridden
beaten track, and realised to my utter horror, just how
ill-equipped I was to run in the face of dust from the
nail-studded shoes of seasoned rat-racers. Building up my
killer-instinct was the answer.
However, a stubborn streak
in my temperament that refuses to compromise with any
sort of injustice, forbids me from launching this mammoth
task. I refuse to build up my killer instinct. The
compromise would involve a major metamorphosis, and the
casualties would kill the purpose of the whole exercise.
I remember the experience
with an art gallery that brought in its wake such wisdom.
The gallery was yet a
seedling under the soil, a gleam in the eye of an amiable
acquaintance with a great love, albeit, on his own
admission, very little knowledge of the arts.
I remember personally
driving nails into the newly appointed gallery wall-space
with his then secretary, to whom he finally handed over
the reins when the dream sped to a trot and then
galloped. There was much laughter and bonhomie while I
simultaneously explained the basics of visual appeal and
balance to her.
The walls were finally
ready to accommodate my paintings lent to the gallery out
of sheer goodwill for its first "purely
experimental" exhibition.
Out team was happy to
admire the fruit of relentless work that claimed the
lives of one of my favourite sculptures on the grounds of
nervous handling and a few pounds of my weight on account
of missed breakfasts and lunches.
Within seemingly no time
the gallery had moved on so far up the ladder of success
that my heart burst with some justifiable pride for my
initial contribution.
I was confronted by the
sad truth that I had been put a humble stepping stone of
its teething days, when, while trying to get in touch
with the head of the gallery on a purely professional
matter, I found that he was now quite beyond my reach.
The ex-secretary (now in
charge of all art-related matters, and operating under
the designation of art manager), stood like the erstwhile
Wall of Berlin between the director and the stepping
stone!
My heart did a quick
somersault in the pause that I was kept holding the phone
to see "if the director was there" as I had
posted that very morning, an exhibition-enquiry for my
seventh solo exhibition after a gap of four years.
As expected, two months
yielded no reply. The first week after the telephone call
having already found me a sponsor, I appointed a hitherto
unthought-of goal, for my probably perplexed mind and
senses namely to get my material back from the
gallery I had been so closely associated with.
Upon contacting the
erstwhile secretary, I was informed that it had been
misplaced by a pregnant employee who was now quite beyond
my reach in hospital.
Another two months and
several telephone calls later, I received my parcel
yesterday unopened with the scotch tape
still intact on the envelope containing the covering
letter to the director, the photo-album and the sheaf of
press clips!
The puzzle suddenly
clinched as I looked at the unread covering letter and
the rest of the material. The moral of the story
never do a good deed in your own professional field.
Money-makers do not respect voluntary work.
One of my paintings pins
my drifting gaze midway and screams at me.
The anger is justified.
What connection could a
painting expressing my innermost feelings, made in the
closeted sanctity of my studio, have with the path I had
just trodden? With this brown, business-like envelope,
prepared, perhaps, solely to check out past gratitudes?
Ashamed, I quickly skip
off the beaten track into my familiar unreachable
jungles, before inspecting with shaded eyes that no
unbecoming goals wink at me through the chinks in the
sun-kissed leaves of the trees.. just the sun.
I would return to the art
jungle at the time of the exhibition. Till then I needed
the elusive peace of my own jungle, my studio, that gave
me space to shape uncompromised offerings towards the
fuel of further mental peace.... so essential to my
reaching out to like-minded people.
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