Little of everything, lots of nothing

By Ervell E. Menezes

IF the films I saw this week are any indication, we’re surely in for a plethora of C-grade Hollywood films. Well, how do you define a C-grade film? Try this. One that has a little of everything and lots of nothing. Or one that you can leave anytime after the start. Most Wanted, Firestorm and Wild Things fit this category like a glove.

Most Wanted is about the old Dirty Dozen formula of absolving a criminal of his crime because the state wants him to perform one of their own crimes. That the hero Keenen Ivory Wayans who plays Sgt. James Dunn has also written the script is purely academic. Asked by his superior Lt Col Grant Cassey (Jon Vioght) to kill a wealthy industrialist, Dunn finds himself in a tight spot because a split second before he does it, the First Lady who accompanies the industrialist is shot dead and Dunn is the prime suspect, almost framed.

What follows is mildly interesting but highly exaggerated. May be the relationship with Dr Victoria Constantini (Jill Hennessy), an eye-witness with a videotape of the assassination, is rather well developed even if Dunn begins by taking her hostage, however, it is not enough to sustain the film. Jon Voight is the villain but not all of the action is plausible. Director David Glenn Hogan fails to imbue the film with an ounce of credibility. It’s action and more action, far-fetched and one-dimensional.

If it is mean to show the ruthlessness of the American government machinery it succeeds to an extent but that’s no reason to subject viewers to over 100 minutes of "anything is possible" James Bond like drama. At times the pauses are as important as the action. It gives the viewer time for the story to sink in. But Most Wanted has a wafer-thin story which not even a mentally retarded child will buy.

In Firestorm the synopses is more interesting than the film and may be a documentary on the subject would have been more welcome. "When two forest fires collide, they create a ferocious storm, an unpredictable inferno that demonstrates the true power of nature... Parachuting into and fighting these ‘firestorms’ is an all-too-familiar occurrence of fearless smokejumper Jesse Graves and his close-knit team." So the synopses says.

Former American football star Howie Long is cast as Jesse Graves. Now, Long played second-fiddle to Arnold Schwarznegger in Commando and the producers Jeseph Loeb III, Matthew Weisman and Thomas M. Hammel thought it a good idea to cast him in a lead role. All very well, but then at least put together a plausible story.

Chris Roth’s screenplay is pathetic and director Dean Semler is all at sea. Veteran actor Scott Glenn seems to be wasted and when Earl Shaye (John Forsythe), a convict, hatches an audacious plan to break free and recover $ 37 million in stashed loot. How he does it is hard to believe but the manner in which these smokejumpers go through hell and high-water calls for a total suspension of one’s metal faculties.

Shots of the leaping flames and the wilds of the forests are well taken but at no time is the viewer really involved with the action. It is just a passing show bereft of suspense and without an iota of sustenance. The way Shaye and his fellow-prisoners infiltrate into the smokejumpers ranks appears to be with the express help of the director. Not even the attractive Suzy Amis playing an ornithologist trapped in the forest fires is able to provide even token dramatic relief.

Which brings me to Wild Things, a suspense-for-suspense sake thriller quite devoid of credibility and moving from one genre to another when it pleases. The opening shots of wildlife on the Everglades led one to believe it would be an African Safari like movie. But the "wild things" referred to are the sexy teenagers Kelly (Denise Richards ) and Suzie (Neve Campbell) who apparently had a crush on their handsome guidance counsellor Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon). But it later turns out that Sam Lombardo (they certainly chose the right name) is indeed a stud who not only mixes counselling with sex lessons but also has designs on wealth even if they involve murder. Enter, detective Ray Duquette (Kevin Bacon) and he finds it all very confusing.

Kelly’s ma Sandra (Theresa Russell) is a former lover of Sam’s so Kelly is understandably jealous. But the two girls conniving to help this Don Juan never really rings true. Director John Me Naghlon is at best amateurish. That the intricate plot doesn’t hold much water is another handicap. You have to be totally "switched off" to sit through (or if it is a job you are doing) this mindless entertainer.

How in today’s world do they make films of this nature is hard to believe? If sexy females are the only reason to sit through a film, I’m not sure it is going to draw crowds. If one has to look for plus points the music is good. For me it was good to see Robert Wanger, an old favourite who was in the 1956 Titanic, and Carrie Snodgress who made a big impact with her role in A Diary of a Mad Housewife.

May be they should set up a committee to screen such dubious entertainers.