Don’t bank on this one

Nonika Singh

Heist, as a subject, lends itself to both drama and intrigue and is a time-tested formula. It may not always hit the bull’s eye but is a surefire recipe for some added dose of fun and excitement. Alas, Bank Chor offers you nothing that is even remotely interesting. Instead, it robs one of not only sensitivity but is also even bereft of mindless entertainment. 

Yes, from scene one which starts as expected with robbers taking over hostages in a bank, the laboured attempt to raise laughs gets rolling. One robber (Ritesh Deshmukh) is in the garb of a saadhu, the other two (Vikram Thapa, Bhuvan Arora) wear animal masks of elephant and horse. Together they try their level best to tickle your funny bone. Their Delhi-Mumbai banter (you see, they hail from different cities), supposedly comic are not merely moronic, but also makes you wince. In fact, their jokes are as lukewarm as the rest of the proceedings which sees a CBI officer (Vivek Oberoi)) walk in, a young TV journo (Rhea Chakraborty) chirpily funny and intelligent making her presence felt and rapper Baba Sehgal as himself in a comic avatar.  

The three buffoons, at the centre of a robbery with so many men and a woman for company, should ideally have brought the house down. But mirthful quotient simply goes for a toss. As does acting, which is merely confined to flaring nostrils (Sahil Vaid) and curling up one’s moustache (Oberoi).  With swagger writ all over, Oberoi’s antics fail at each step. Actually his character is jarringly inexplicable. Yes for a while it keeps you wondering; is he a good guy or a bad one? But in the end you learn he is as dumb as the rest of the men. Dumb, dumber, dumbest… take your pick, only to learn the biggest joke is on you the audience. Indeed, amidst this madness Ritesh Deshmukh with Massomiyat se bhari aankehien appears earnest as the bumbling nice guy caught on the wrong foot. 

The postscript, however, unveils a new chapter, once again a forced interjection, desperately trying to add intelligence to a non-coherent script, turning the whole film upside down. For a moment it leaves you dumbstruck… seriously did you miss out any pieces of the puzzle while watching the earlier part?  Ah, only, if one had given this one a complete miss. Plain amateurish, its hydra-headed tentacles move in several directions. There is the mandatory corrupt politician, politician-businessman nexus and an elusive hard drive that encodes secrets.  Net result; the script is not only all over the place but adds up to zilch. 

Unless, you can find humour in moronic dialogues such as Deepak Tijori ko hitchiktiya aa rahi hongi (the provocation for which is the sight of bank tijori), the collective might of these robbers is as unfunny as it takes. Run for cover, for they are out to steal your time, money and energy. “Criminals ki haddi hi nahi unki himmat todata hun mein, (I crush their spirit…)” says Oberoi as Ahmed Khan. Well, he along with others sure manages to sap ours. Strictly avoidable.