Divisions we’ve created

Ira Pande

BEWARE the Ides of March: this sinister warning from Shakespeare’s ‘Julius Caesar’ rings in my ears as I sit down to write my column. Given the current climate of election hysteria and the daily roster of politicians from one party hopping to another, the strange developments in our Election Commission literally days before the announcement of national elections, the stern instructions from our Supreme Court to the State Bank of India to furnish information on the electoral bonds — all these make the Shakespearean warning equally sinister for us in India at present.

Whether we understand the implications of all these happenings or not, every Indian has an opinion about them. The battle lines are firmly drawn between those who support the present government and those who see a conspiracy behind every event. Never was the intolerance between communities and regions so sharply marked. The question we need to address is, what have we done to come to this sorry pass? I think a large part of the blame can be laid on the rampant use of the social media and digital platforms in disseminating information that is either biased or deliberately twisted.

Instagram, X, Facebook and all those shriek portals that await us in our phones have seriously messed up our brains. Like many of you, I am a part of several groups. Some are family groups, some old friends from school and university days and some are groups of random friends. In each group, there are those who send just pictures of children or gardens in bloom or beautiful sunsets and animals, but there are some determined to send petitions to sign for wars raging in various parts of the world, terribly communal and bigoted posts and reek of a morality and ‘high-mindedness’ that they air with pride.

So fed up was I by some of these that I had to write an appeal to all these groups to keep politics out of our normal and old, friendly relationships. Privately, one is free to write to like-minded fellow travellers but to poison someone’s peace of mind is a serious offence. For some time now, I have found such posts not just irritating but downright intolerant. And intolerance, whether of the right or left, is to be exposed for what it is. In the India we grew up, we all had a different viewpoint on politics and social positions, but never did we break off old friendships because one friend decided to support a political party that we did not like. It was then perfectly acceptable to argue and try and persuade a change of attitude, but to stop meeting someone one has known and loved for a lifetime is just plain bigotry. It does not matter whose side you are on, every person has a right to an independent opinion.

That said, let us move on to more pleasant matters. An old cousin, who recently lost his wife of over 53 years, is visiting us and there is so much to remember with joy and nostalgia that politics is not even discussed. What is common between all of us, who belong roughly to that generation, is a deep sadness at how atomised families have now become. Parents who always moved in with their children after being left alone are now no longer able to do so because of various reasons. The overwhelming ones are that either the children live in a foreign country, and then one has to be prepared to close one’s home of many years to move to a land where you have to start life all over again, or the children have hinted or made it clear that they cannot accommodate the single parent.

Our generation is fast becoming a body of orphaned oldies: no one seems to want them. So, some move into assisted living facilities but here again, one needs deep pockets that many do not have. The other is that living with other older and ageing people is a deeply distressing prospect. Many inmates there are suffering from terminal conditions, some have severe physical disabilities that require constant care, others are plain depressed. This is why, no matter how hard it is to manage your loneliness, many choose to live by themselves. In our own colony, there are several lonely souls who pass time by walking in the community garden and lie in wait for someone to talk to them. Many take to religion in the hope that it might bring them peace, others spend their time helping with providing their staff with free tuitions for their children. Yet, each one exudes a loneliness that is palpable.

In just a generation, we have lost the capacity to care for old and ageing people. Yet, it must be said that this is primarily a phenomenon of our class. Look at the shanty clusters where our workers live and see how they look after older people and you will realise how stupid we are to call ourselves educated and advanced. Their concern for their parents, neighbours and those less fortunate than themselves makes you feel humble. Of course, in another decade or two, even this may vanish but think about the values we gave to our young and remember that old Beatles song, ‘All the lonely people, where do they go at night?’

Where can they go?

Join Whatsapp Channel of The Tribune for latest updates.