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What core areas one should focus on? Pavan Choudary: The focus should be on health, work, (generating) wealth, family, friends and community. Shivi Dua: Childhood onwards, our environment conditions us to judge ourselves from the outer perspective and look at ourselves as how others would. As a consequence, we spend a lifetime meeting others' expectations because of the desire to be loved and appreciated. We judge ourselves each time our efforts fail to bring the expected result. This self-judgment erodes our confidence and inmpacts decisions. Our input will be optimised when our decisions and actions are based on listening to our inner voice. Pleasing others and ignoring our inner voice will lead to inner conflicts manifesting as conflicting situations in our lives. Nishit Lal: One should aim for an alignment between what you want and what you are doing. Take for example a girl who would want to reduce weight and is always enticed to have a pizza every now and then. She would always be creating a gap between what she wants and where she is! Misalignment creates dissonance and is like being pulled apart in different directions, so it's hard to move anywhere. Ask yourself this New Year: What do I really really want in the intellectual, emotional, spiritual, social and physical aspects of my life? If there is a dissonance, you will find it right then. Awareness of dissonance is the first step to enlightenment. Abhilasha Aggarwal: The motto to help us nurture core areas is: "Start loving, start living." This by itself would minimise your conflicts and bring in happiness. How to nurture the inner self in life’s rush? Pavan: Handle the above areas well and your inner self will start falling in sync, rhythm. One can relax at a red light and meditate in a traffic jam. Nishit: A man was hunting for something on a highway under a street lamp, unsuccessfully. A policemen asked him: "What are you looking for?" He replied: "My keys". Both hunted but were unable to find anything. The policemen asked, "Where did you keep the keys?"The man said, "They are at my home". Stunned, the policemen asked, "If the keys are at home, why are you searching outside?" The man replied, "Because there is no light in my home". So, what you are looking for outside is actually inside . Shivi: It is never difficult to connect with our inner self. Finding some 'me' time in the day to be silent helps to connect with one's inner thought processes. When practised daily, it begins to cut down the meaningless chatter of the mind. Our inner-most thoughts become clear and by understanding them, we can altering our reality the way we wish to. Writing down one's thoughts is a powerful way to connect with our inner self and works wonders. Abhilasha: Say "I love you" to yourself, every day. Feel proud of the person you are. Questions that perplex you have answers lying within you, so listen to them. Leave your IPOD, MP3 and cell phones at home. Start connecting with nature which teaches us simple (yet important) life lessons. Listen to the wonderful music of nature and you will discover an inner harmony. Serve selflessly because it helps you grow as a better human. Do a small act each day to bring a smile on others’ faces. Life will thank you. What is your mantra for success? Pavan: Happiness matters the most. It comes when physical, financial, social and psycholgical aspects of life are in harmony. Balance is the mantra. Shivi: "Success" is just a label as is "failure". It has a negative charge. The moment we call ourselves or our effort a failure, we get demotivated. By calling it a "learning experience", we put a positive charge to it. Each thought that leaves us goes out in the universe and creates a physical reality for us, in accordance with its existence. Thoughts of dearth of wealth will create situations whereby we will always be money strapped. Gratitude for what we have will create further gratitude. By making thoughts positive, we can successfully optimise the inherent power to create a life of our choice. Nishit: Do what you love because your passion lies in that. If you like writing, start writing on the internet. Those who like making friends can get into network marketing and if you are a people's person, become a counsellor or a trainer. Love for travelling can translate into a travel blog or working in Discovery or National Geographic. Keep on searching, until you find your niche. Keep on trying new activities, take new assignments and you are bound to stumble upon the thing you love the most. Do what you love and you will never have to work in your life. Abhilasha: Start enjoying every little thing that you pursue to bring about focus in all your endeavours. It leads to success beyond measure. What is avoidable and what works for most? Pavan: Religious pursuits should be avoided because rituals make one fearful and engage in hocus pocus. One misses essence of life. Be brave, drop your conditioning and only then will you truly live life. Your character is determined by: What you think of yourself when you don't have anything and what you think about others when you have everything. Nishit: Avoid people who let you down. Be with people with similar goals, who will pull you up and not with those who push you down. You can't change others, the only person you can change is yourself. Hard work works for everyone. Find a mentor who can guide you in the right direction. There is nothing worse than working hard in the wrong direction. A role model works, he has already trodden your path. Shivi: When in difficult situations, we find an escape route and blaming either others or the situation. We spend time and energy regretting past incidents and fearing what future events. Blame invites counter-blame and fear invites fear. These are negative emotions we give into easily, without even realising we are doing so. They only keep us from experiencing what we are meant to in the moment. The pattern keeps repeating itself until we have imbibed the lesson. If we take complete responsibility for our lives, we attract situations and people that will bring our way what we yet have to learn about ourselves. Everything happens for a reason and the earlier we accept this, the better it is. Abhilasha: Stop judging and levelling unjust criticism. Smile and laugh problems away. Tips for the New Year Pavan: Work hard, be nice, have fun. Shivi: The moment is all we have. Being aware of our experience in each moment will allow us to gracefully imbibe lessons hidden in it. Nishit: Be change ready. No change equals no survival. Change brings growth. As you grow, so you mature. Change not only externally but also internally by altering thoughts, beliefs and passions. Overhaul your vehicle (body), and the driver (soul) will enjoy the ride. Do the new: Take up a new project, do a different task, find a new friend and gather varied experiences. Prepare for the winters. Life is not easy for those who don't prepare. Whatever the season, ants always work to save for the winters. Abhilasha: Live each day to your fullest, because your today will be your yesterday and also become your tomorrow.
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Come New Year, and even the most cynical are not averse to making a wishlist. There is an increasing reliance on motivational, life coaches or trainers to show the way. Perhaps, due to the increasing pressures of corporate life and the drift towards a ‘secular
spirituality,’ there is a vacuum as organised religion finds fewer takers. We asked some trainers who conduct holistic workshops to help people find equipoise to share their success mantra. Those who chalk out the roadmap for a better you are: Pavan Choudary, author and motivational trainer; Shivi Dua, who practices and teaches Serenity Surrender, a healing modality she has evolved; Nishit Lal, a corporate trainer, specialising in peak performances; and Abhilasha Aggarwal, who conducts holistic health and wellness workshops across the country for soft-skill enhancement. They answer our questions on what will make you rock.
