THIS ABOVE ALL
United colours of India
Khushwant Singh

ONCE again, as in the years past, I watched the Republic Day parade down Rajpath and Beating Retreat ceremony in Vijay Chowk on TV. I love watching smartly dressed men and women marching in step, swinging their arms with bands playing martial music. Once again I wondered if this extravaganza of military prowess and bands playing was worth the money and time spent on it. For many days before, the march-past rehearsals impede the smooth flow of traffic. Rajpath cuts New Delhi in two. One has to take long detours to get from one side to the other.

Many crores are spent to get men, women and children from distant parts of the country for a two-hour display of their regional dance and music as they go down Raisina Hill down Rajpath, India Gate and Zafar Marg to the Red Fort. Beating Retreat is a more compact ceremony.

Nevertheless, it also disrupts the normal flow of traffic around Vijay Chowk for many hours. Must we continue indulging in this extravagant exercise year after year? After measuring the pros and cons, my answer is in the affirmative.

No matter what it costs in terms of money and inconvenience to Delhi's citizens, it is worth every bit because it has become the most potent factor in national bonding. The spectacle brings Indians of different regions, religions and languages together on one stage. Millions of people watch it on their TV sets. I can vouch for it by the simple observation that on the morning of January 26, the blocks of flats and green spaces in between, which are normally humming with life, are totally bereft of activity of any kind— everyone indoors is watching the parade glued to what is contemptuously described as the idiot box.

For a long time our notion of nationhood was confined to the consciousness of our frontiers. Whenever our neighbours encroached on them, we put aside our internal differences and confronted them as one people. That is not good enough in times of peace. We have to cultivate a sense of oneness over-riding our differences of castes, creeds, religions and the languages we speak. Our celebrating Gantantra Divas together is perhaps the most important factor in making us feel we are Indians.

Pseuds Corner

The title is taken from Private Eye, the British fortnightly journal and the principal debunker of pretentious humbug from different parts of the world, mainly Great Britain. Excerpts from Indian journals often appear in Pseuds Corner. After all, ours is "the land of sages, rishis and munis". All of them spend years in deep meditation in Himalayan caves searching for the Truth (whatever it means) till they get enlightenment (whatever it means). They then descend on the plains to preach to the world as jagat gurus (world teachers). Most of it is about atma (soul) and cosmic forces which goes under the heading "spiritual," which has nothing to do with ghosts or alcohol but means other wordly pursuits.

We are left baffled by the plethora of words we are unable to comprehend. Among the living sages for whom I have some affection but little comprehension of the message to the world is Dr Kapila Vatsyayan — internationally acclaimed for her inter-disciplinary research of fundamental importance, author of over a dozen books. Her writings are considered as invaluable milestones. She was secretary, Department of Arts, member of the executive board of UNESCO, chairperson of the IIC-Asia Project India International Centre and is currently member of the Rajya Sabha.

She could be described as the Tsarina of Indian culture. I once attended a meeting where she was the principal speaker. I could not understand a word of what she said in her high-pitched rhetoric. I repeated words I recalled to my friends. None of them were able to decipher their meaning. The latest example of her learning is from a publication Saplings under the title Aesthetics and the World View. I quote the opening lines: "Aesthetics evolves from a world view which regards the cosmic process as a dance of microcosm, and the microcosm, a rhythmic interplay of eternity and flux in an unending movement of involution, evolution and devolution. Man on earth is more one amongst all living matter, is inter-related to nature, responding to and not conquering it". And so on. Will anyone please explain to me what this scholarly lady is trying to say?

Gas problem

When it comes to humour, you have to give to the Brits. That is one reason I look forward to my fortnightly copy of Private Eye. It mocks everyone and everything—royalty, religion, prime ministers, politicians, dukes, duchesses, down to taxi drivers. In its last issue it has a whole page devoted to new inventions of its own imagination yet to be manufactured. This one which I found amusing is called suppositone—designed specially for people who suffer from flatulence. It promises "no more red faces from escaped wind".

It goes on to describe "this miniature device activated by release of internal gas and emits a convincing mobile ring tone—which both covers up any unwarranted noise and gives you an excuse to leave business meeting or dinner party or during service to take a call’’. The tiny gadget suppositone is priced at £ 35.