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Saturday, June 24, 2006 |
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I gave him a questioning look and asked. "The same as Bapu Gandhi? He did not bother to even consult his wife." "But I did take my wife’s approval," he protested. "ask her!" The lady, though a matron in her mid-fifties and buxom, did not appear to me as one who had put sex out of her mind. On the contrary, now that there was no danger of pregnancy, was perhaps looking forward to sex without taking precautions against accidental motherhood. I turned towards her for an answer. She blushed and nodded her head, indicating approval of her husband’s decision. "What do you think?" asked the husband. "Have I done the right thing? You read a lot of books; you should know the answers." "Books do not have answers to such questions. This is something a person has to decide for himself or herself. I think it is against human nature and therefore wrong. What Bapu Gandhi was wrong twice over: by taking a decision unilaterally without consulting his partner and fighting an unnecessary battle against natural instincts. He liked women massaging his body, having young women sleeping alongside him to test his will-power. It was an unfair thing to do so. Since he kept no secrets nor even told a lie, he made himself a laughing stock. Sex is too powerful an urge to be suppressed by human resolutions." "So you think we are wrong?" he asked. "I did not say that. However, if you feel you want to break your vows, go ahead and break them without feeling you have committed a sin." Both had broad grins on their faces. Celibacy is often confused with chastity. Celibacy strictly refers to remaining single and abstaining from sex. Chastity refers to purity and may or may not include abstention from sex depending on the faith one subscribes to. If it regards sex as a sin then it is not chaste; if it doesnot, one can indulge in legitimate sex and remain chaste. Different religions have different views on the subject. Judaism does not set any store on celibacy. Hebrew priests (Rabbis) are allowed to marry and have families. Nor does Islam which has taken its customs (like circumcision, eating only kosher meat and names of its five daily prayers etc.) from the Jews. Their religious leaders, Pirs, Mullahs, Imams, etc were, and are, married men. Christianity sets great store on celibacy. Jesus Christ was celibate and extolled virtues of remaining one. In the Bible (Matthew 19,10-12), we find three kinds of males, presumably gays, eunuchs and the rest as follows: "There are different reasons why men cannot marry. Some because they were born that way, others because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." Roman Catholic priests are not allowed to marry. All monastic orders be they Dominicans, Fanciscans, Trappists and others take vows of celibacy, as they do of poverty, when they enter monasteries. So do women when they enter nunneries or join establishments like Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity. The Indic family of religions — Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism have ambivalent attitude towards the subject. Almost all gods and goddesses of the Hindu pantheon were married. Nevertheless, many Hindu religious heads and sadhu cults extol celibacy. Jain and Buddhist monks take vows to remain single. All 10 Sikh gurus, save one who died young, were married. Sikh scriptures do not advocate celibacy. The one who, though he never married but rubbished celibacy, was Osho Rajneesh. He celebrated sexual intercourse as a joyous relationship between two individuals and exhorted his disciples to engage in it without inhibition. Sex is primary urge and no restrictions imposed on it have ever worked. It attains explosive dimensions with adulthood and slowly abates as a person grows old: the desire lingers, the ability to perform dies a slow death. It is during this interregnum that many people take vows of celibacy in the hope of converting impotence into a virtue. However, a happy ending. The couple which had taken vows of celibacy have resumed conjugal relations. No laughing matter When B.L. Vohra’s first compilation of jokes Don’t laugh, we are Police came out, I gave it a very favourable write-up. We expect policemen neither to have a sense of humour nor the ability to being made the butt of ridicule in their stride. Ten years later Vohra has come out with a second compilation Humour in Khaki: Anecdotes, Jokes and Funny Side of Police (Konark). It is evident that his fund of police jokes has been severly depleted: many are stale, some lifted and adapted, and quite a few have nothing to laugh about. However, about half a dozen make the compilation worth reading. Here is one I enjoyed most: "The home minister of a north-eastern state was having an affair with a TV starlet. After some months, he decided to end his bachelorhood and marry the girl. However, being an intelligent young man, he wanted to check up on her antecedents, and ordered his intelligence branch to find out more about her. After a few weeks, he received its report reading: "The lady in question has a good reputation. Comes from a respectable family and has a clean past. But according to latest reports, she has recently been flirting around with a policeman with a dubious reputation." Clinical suicide Q: Why are you boiling your kitchen knife? A: I want to use it to kill myself. Q: If so, why do you have to boil it? A: I don’t want it to infect me. (Contributed by Ujagar Singh,
Chandigarh)
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A
middle-aged man and his wife, both of whom I have known over 30 years,
dropped in to see me. After preliminaries about how their three
daughters and the rest of the joint-family were doing, there was a
lull in the conversation. The man broke the silence with an
announcement: "I have taken a vow of celibacy."
