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Skin Deep Woman Alone BOOK BUZZ
MATKA CHOWK
TECH TALKS PAMMY’S BEAUTY TIPS WRITE RENEE
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Funny side of politics Politics has a funnier side too, at least in Gurjind Sandhu eyes. For this city-based illustrator even the most serious screaming headlines in the morning papers become something to be laughed about by the time he is through with his paints and brush. Now that he has come out with his first-ever solo exhibition on his political illustrations, which he had done over the past two years, the aim is the same, to give you a hearty laugh and rewind the political landscape of this region. Sarcasm flows right from entry point of the exhibition hall of the Museum and Art Gallery in Sector 10 where the artist’s works are on display. His black and white illustrations, which one is used to see in the newspaper, suddenly blossom into art pieces as Gurjind places their coloured versions against the backdrop of a collage made of newspaper cuttings. The news clippings, not just for enhancing the aesthetics here, but according to Gurjind, to show when it comes to playing dirty, media is as petty as the politicians. His favourite characters, without being told we come to know, are —Capt. Amarinder Singh, Parkash Singh Badal and Dr Manmohan Singh. Navjeet Singh Sidhu and Sonia Gandhi —follow suit. “Amarinder, Badal and Manmohan Singh have certain characteristics like the beard and turban, which come across nicely in cartoons,” says Gurjind. Not very complementary, especially when you hear his explanation that follows, “It is difficult to distort a perfect face, but when someone has some comical features or features that stands out, it is easier for the illustrator to work on.” But politicians need not lose heart. We give Gurjind a choice to pick up any two names from the Bollywood whom he would like to work on and this is the answer we get “Shahrukh Khan and Sanjay Dutt.” Shahrukh is liked for his comical features and floppy hairstyle, and Sanjay for his villainous expressions. An alumnus of the Chandigarh College of Art, Gurjind chose this field just to evade monotony. “In painting an artist develop his own style and gets stuck with similar kind of works. That is monotonous. But as an illustrator I get to work on diversified themes for every day there is a new issue to work on and hey, after five years when the government changes, I get fresh faces to work on too.” But then does it mean that an illustrator do not have a signature style? They do, says Gurjind, who particularly admire R.K. Laxman, Ajay Nainan and Jay Chandran’s style of work. “For me I blend realistic illustrations with distortion to bring out sarcasm in my work,” says Gurjind. That was the technical aspect of his work. But what makes a cartoonist stands out above the rest, according to Gurjind, is one’s in-depth knowledge on the current political scenario. “One has to read a lot and also should have an analytical mind. If you sketch depending on just one particular story, then it turns out to be just an illustration. But when you inject a little bit of your knowledge and show your analysis through your characters, then it becomes a piece of art,” is Gurjind’s tip for all budding illustrators. As we muse though his illustrations, enjoying the politics behind the politics, the usual leg-pulling and lobbying of our political fraternity, we wonder if cynicism is too a requisite quality for an illustrator? “Not so much of cynicism as much as the sense of humour,” Gurjind assures us. One good look at Gurjind, the simple, almost shy man, and we agree wholeheartedly with his wisdom.
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Skin Deep “Herbal beauty products are fast changing the life’s complexion. They are safe, effective and not very expensive either,” says Neena Chopra, beauty consultant-cum-Director of Just Herbs — a company involved in the manufacture and export of ayurvedic beauty products. Currently organising an ayurvedic beauty camp at Panchkula, Chopra says you can go to the beauty parlour for acquiring stunning looks that dazzle the onlookers. Or else, pick up other creams that give you fleeting glimpse of transient beauty. “But all these measures are momentary. They provide relief, but do not cure. For, beauty is a matter of regularity and patience. It cannot be bought in just one session at a beauty parlour,” she asserts. “Ayurvedic creams, on the other hand, work on the skin, reducing blemishes, dark circles and host of other problems in the process”. In fact, blaming the “fast-food culture” for playing havoc with the skin, the complexion and the looks, Chopra says devoid of essential vitamins, the combo pack of junk food, late night outings and irregular eating habits, is causing several problems, including hair fall, ache, dandruff and even dark circles.
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Woman Alone Well, if you belong to the City Beautiful, stop believing in these stereotype beliefs. For, single women in the city are no longer leading a dull and meaningless life. They’re rather living life with spirit, vision and drive. We chat up some of these women and fish out how does it feel to be seated at the driver’s seat in the car of life. Fully in-charge and in-control of their emotions, finances, friends and lifestyle, they’re prowling proudly in the power lane of the city. Meet the women who’ve made a conscious choice to stay single and are surely, not regretting their decisions. “ My hands were full with so many things at 28— my career, a loving family to look after, friends and social work. I didn’t feel the need to commit myself to marriage. Initially, my family was surprised, but slowly they accepted it,” says Ridhi Kharbanda, a city-based website developer and animal activist. Chirps Vandana Maini, a lecturer at the Punjab University (Department of Evening Studies), “Finding a compatible mate to share your life with is of course a wonderful thing. But, getting married just for the heck of it is something I don’t believe in. For, women today are self-confident and independent and can take care of themselves well.” Adds BPO professional Rachna Sehgal (name changed on request), “Clinging on to a bad marriage just to appease society was not what my self-respect allowed me to do. So I just walked out, to live life on my own terms. And I’m not regretting my decision.” Reasons Jasdeep Kaur, a teacher at Panchkula, “They say life without a man is full of woes. But when I look at my married colleagues, I feel isn’t married life full of woes too?” Reasons another bachelorite Shweta Sabbarwal, “Why talk of woes, we live life to the fullest— work, parties, friends, family and fun, we have everything except the Mrs. tag. “And guess what, we are having fun spelled with the capital F. We work hard and party hard,” adds Rishu Dhir, working in a private bank in Chandigarh. So folks, stop raising your eyebrows at the mention of single women. These women are everywhere in the city, pioneering, leading, ruling— some with a quietness of purpose, others basking in attention. No longer a desperate alternative for women who didn’t find themselves a man to marry, singledom is their conscious choice, a loving commitment to themselves, a celebration of life.
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BOOK BUZZ BROWSE, SURF & GLANCE: Starting out as a bookstore in 1997 and expanded to include a library into the scheme of things soon after, Pankaj is now busy sprucing up the space to include Wi-Fi surfing zones all around, a lounge, sections for children and teens, a study zone, DVDs (more than 800 titles comprising of selections like Merchant-Ivory film, the Tell Me Why series for children, music videos of Sufi singers et al) tonnes of journals from all over and a café for that hot cup to sip while, well, browsing of course! All this along with an events area complete with a PA system, open to members wishing to host literary gatherings. With the lending aspect going gung-ho, the need to expand the definition of a library arose. “We felt that the element of ambience, activity and community must be incorporated. What we did not want was a cyber café feel.” Thus the all-encompassing urge to do a “complete job” no matter what. “I surfed through the net extensively, saw every good site, including the British Library and the American University libraries to study what role a library can play.” What emerges now is 7500 square feet of area spiffily planned over three floors—the basement, the ground and the first floor—which will house all the new additions in cheery colours, refreshing setting and bright and breezy space. “Anything and everything you tell us about a library, we will do it,” is his mantra and all this by mid-April! PAUSE, PONDER & RIFFLE: This city stalwart of a bookstore is all set to open its spiffy glass doors to the public on March 3. With a brand new décor—in pastoral wood laminates, timber and glass staircases, tumbled stone, black granite even a skylight and a Picasso grill—the place is ready to overwhelm you with its balmy ambience. All the material is just the same it has simply been moved into niches and nooks more accessible and appealing with lots of space for display and parade! The brief to the talented duo, city-based architects Anant Mann and Siddhartha Wig was ‘make a place you would like to visit’ and indeed the place is affable and appealing. A front mezzanine section up glass stairs to a cards area, a gift wrapping section in an unobtrusive cranny, a stationary display area complete with visible slots for pens and paintbrushes and a pillar less area stacked with book-racks that can be converted into an events corner. Up some wooden stairs with chrome railings to the computer, competition and language books segment and a charming little children’s area complete with a fish tank, yellow floor tiles, a night sky roof with twinkling stars and little cut-outs of flowers, fish and geometric shapes on the bookracks. All Ajay wants is for people to ‘come in and float around’ and the very fact the ‘retail space has practically doubled due to the judicious use of space’ makes for a lovely bookstore to delve around in. With mosaics or murals planned for the walls and even plans to landscape the trees in front of the store, Capital is set to crackle! Get ready to load up the book cart!
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Flirt with florals Welcome into the world of full bloom—the warm-all-day, cool-at-night season that brings us the raw-mango greens, sunshine yellows, peachy pastels and vibrant florals to feast our eyes on. The perfect time for trees to bloom, colourful flowers to spring up and expansive grassy fields to go greener. And when everything’s breathes anew with fresh colours, can fashion be far behind? So friends, it’s the time to go dainty, colourful and perky by investing in the best bet for spring— the florals. No longer the mainstay of the older women’s dresses, the brightly coloured, tiny-flower prints are now a springtime-must for every fashion victim’s wardrobe. Blooming merrily at most city shopping hubs for women and men (Yes! Men today are flaunting flowers too!) , these sweet, feminine and innocent prints are shouting for attention. And since these prints are so good at camouflaging body frailties and imperfections by creating illusions, why not pick them up. But before you set out on an overdrive to get some florals and splurge, here are a few things to keep in mind— Stick to small, sweet floral prints for that innocent, girlie looks. Small size of the print will look feminine and chic while too big a floral pattern may end up in your looking like an English nanny. If experimenting with big floral prints, team them up with a matching or even a complementary print, like a pink checked dress with yellow or baby blue floral top. Never wear a floral printed top with a floral printed lower. Wanna sport that oh-so-girlie floral skirt? Buy a flouncy, flowery one and team it with a plain top in a solid colour. Lots of asymmetrical kurtis are nowadays available in the market. These have floral prints in soft shades. Team them with lots of accessories and churi pants. Big flowers give the illusion of a person being fuller. Also, if the contrast between the flowers and the background is too bold, it gives an illusion of a bigger size. So people with a large body frame should avoid big floral prints or too bold floral prints. Linear prints are ideal for short people as they give the illusion of size. So, if you are short, just team your floral printed upper with a lower that has vertical stripes and vice versa. If you are exceptionally thin, wear a crushed cotton top in some light colour with big floral prints. It’ll make you look curvaceous. You can also team a comfort-fit trousers and spaghetti top with a long, translucent kurta sporting tiny flowers, if you are broad chested. The long painted over-shirt will conceal your broad frame and give you lots of style. Chiffon, georgettes, crepes are the fabrics, which look absolutely chic with floral prints. So, buy floral prints in these stuffs for semi-formal occasions while go for cotton kurtis with highlighted flower prints for casual wear. On kurtis, you can even highlight your floral prints with sequins for a formal look. Gone are the days of wearing plain and plaid shirts for office wear. Floral shirts are very in today and are great for office wear. However, don’t overplay them and always wear light coloured trousers with them for a sophisticated look. Add jazz to your floral ensembles with colourful plastic accessories. Plastic bangles, hoops, small studs, coordinated bags, or jholas can be teamed with florals to set all hearts blooming. While wearing floral printed ensembles to college, team them either with colorful sneakers
or strappy sandals. So friends, sprinkle these colourful florals on your bodies and celebrate spring. Happy blooming!
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Cotton couture Whiff of summer in a lovely collection of cotton weaves—breezy South Indian handlooms, Kanchivarams, Mangalgiris, Ikat, Chanderis and Maheshwaris along with subtle malmals with coordinated dupattas, which take you through a whole gamut of captivating earth colours from muted russets to billowing candy pinks. Celebrating cotton in the city is Delhi based UTSAV which specialises in mixing and matching weaves and prints from different regions of the country. “Indian cotton is the mainstay of our apparel for centuries and the younger generations must understand what it means in terms of our heritage and our economy,” avers designer Shashiv Chandran. “More than just keeping traditions and handloom weaves alive is the nurturing of several groups of weavers across the country so that they can build on their capabilities. What is important is to build a market for these fabrics,” he says. Indeed, while block printing on South Cotton is their forte, they try and bring in something new for the city every time they exhibit. So what we have here are simple, elegant Maheshwaris with chikan work (Rs 1,260), printed Chanderi Maheshwaris with old Mughal booti block-prints with embellishments (Rs 1,650), cotton saris with traditional kanchivaram borders (Rs 1,200 to 1,350), plain thaans of block-printed, striped colourful fabrics to Venkatgiris and Gadwals with pure silk borders with gold zari-work (Rs 700 to 4,000). Embellishments are the fashion statement for the year so you can pick up a gold Chanderi dupatta with mukaish and block-print for Rs 1,900 or a striking silver khadi-work fabric for Rs 180 a meter. Even in the selection of saris there is a gorgeous range. Choose from an appealing deep pink doria effect, missing weft design with an old chattai border to simple Gujarati and Rajasthani block-prints, typical kanchivaram cottons to exquisite black and gold khadi prints. Traditional weaves that delight. The exhibition is on at Hotel Aroma, Sector 22-C from 11:00 am to 8:00 pm, Saturday to Tuesday April 4.
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MATKA CHOWK Our kids are starting new classes. The rituals surrounding this grand business require some active participation from us - the parents. I spent the morning attending the parents teachers orientation and learnt a lot about how other parents think. In a classroom full of over-concerned parents, the teacher was outnumbered. If I were in her place, I would be badly shaken. I was expecting some of the parents to actually give her a Physics exam! She did a graceful job of addressing some of the really difficult curveballs. There were demands made on her to furnish assurances of all-round and comprehensive well being of each and every child in the class. Even that, she wonderfully pledged. Feeling quite small and mute in a group of vociferous and stridently enthusiastic and charged parents, I took my exit. I was glad that my daughter was in a nice and airy classroom with a grand view of dense and green mango trees and in the hands of a teacher who laughed freely and seemed very human. Rest, she will have to manage. And, when the time comes, we will tackle the digestive system and perpetual motion together. I was glad that she would get to play at recess and have her friends to share her secrets. With such plebian thoughts, I dashed off to the bookstore. The melee that was the bookstore today, was one I would have to conquer with utter determination. Since, all the space at the counter was already taken and there were crowds swelling up like an over inflated travel pillow all around, I paused to figure out a strategy. One gentleman was taking out his wallet. That was a cue for his imminent departure. I stuck myself very closely behind him and true enough, the minute he moved out, leaped into his space and rattled off my request in a desperate voice. There were many hands raised with booklists all around and behind me, some brushing me on my head. But, visual contact has no substitute. I singled out one of the clerks and pleaded with utmost ardour. Guess what! He not only heard me over the din, he also got me the books quite promptly. I paid and was about to exit the store triumphantly, lugging immense bags full of Geometry and Vyakaran – when a cherubic boy of about eight came and asked me if I needed help carrying those to my car. He was in the store with his mother who was also purchasing new books for her child. He carried one of my bags to the car. I thanked him profusely. He truly was a sweet Angel! Now, I know why we do what we do. Our Angels are all around us.
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Incredibly affordable You do not have to be a rich to shop for fashion in style. For, lifestyle stores across the city are now setting the trend by offering “looks” at affordable prices, along with other household items. In fact, you can pick up the latest-cut garments, deodorants, footwear, cosmetics and even shampoos without washing away the household budget. One such showroom, V Mart, was inaugurated at NAC Manimajra by none other than the Union Minister of state for Finance Pawan Bansal. Spread over 20,000 square feet, the house has four levels showcasing style in kids, men and women wear. You can even pick up alluring stuff right from lingerie to diapers. Oh, yes, shades are also there for you to ban those loathsome sunrays from entering your eyes in the summers of 2006. If you haven’t picked up the hot-off-the-fire stuff without burning holes in your pocket, worry now. Just drive down to the store with a light purse for coming out with a heavy satchel, and a satisfied smile that only the “haves” can afford. V-Mart’s Managing Director says the intention behind the concept is to provide retail outlets where even the middle class can pick up the latest stuff without pulling out too much from his tight wallet. As a part of its expansion plan, V Mart will be opening its outlets in Ludhiana and Jalandhar also. “Such stores are fast jumping on the fashionable bandwagon of popularity even in a place like Chandigarh,” says marketing executive with a multinational Pardeep Sangwan. “In fact, now, you do not have to go to Delhi or Gurgaon for buying so much for so little”. Walking down the aisle lined with clothes are temptation, he says: “Until a few years ago, one would have paid double the price for the same stuff. Or else, would have picked up cheap imitation of the same stuff from the rehri market. But now with showrooms across the city offering stuff at reasonable rates, the incredible is affordable.” Right guys, there is so much to pick from without allowing beads of perspiration to dot your brow. By pulling out less than Rs 200, you can flaunt that simple, yet spunky look, after buying a nice little denim top with puff sleeves and drawstring neck. This is not the end. Set the ramp of life afire by buying a crisp white shirt and coloured corduroys, again by paying not more than Rs 500 for both the things. Go ahead, pick up the sizzlers. It is worth it! — Saurbh Malik
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Country without a post office The late Kashmiri poet Agha Shahid Ali’s stirring verse ‘The Country without a Post Office’ was the inspiration behind a poignant installation by artist Raja Jaikishen at the Navreh (New Year) celebrations organised by the Kashmiri Sahayak Sangh, Chandigarh, at the Kashmir Bhawan today. In the midst of gaiety and fanfare, the plight of the Kashmiri Pandits is expressed in strokes of anguish by the artist for whom painting is not an indulgence but an expression. On the wall is the copy of the poem; on the floor are chattais with the paintings on it. On one side of the barren, empty room lies a charpoy covered with a white cloth on which sits a basket with red fabric draped across it which holds within it the almanac, rice and the atuhoor worn by the Kashmiri Pandit women with black fragments of cloth to express mourning. “On New Year’s Day in Kashmir, the youngster in the family would bring a basket of rice, nargis flowers, walnuts, pen—everything that is associated with our people—to commemorate the day. I have used the white cloth for grief, the red cloth for blood, in fact, everything has been used in an ironic fashion,” explains Jaikishen. “All I want is for people to come, look at it all and go back, taking with them their own interpretation.” The randomness all comes together when one starts to look around. It all comes together in an emotional sweep. The phirani on the easel signifying the artist, the poem, the chattais (“because we are primarily a sitting culture”) and the works of art—computer generated and moving water-colours—are not about a structured style or fashion. “It is about inventing with things around you, just like life.” Does the anguish lessen with these creative bursts? “Pure anguish means nothing because it is a part of me. One has to design it and finds ways of expressing it. Art has helped in the sense it has sharpened the feeling and I am able to communicate it coherently, cogently.” He does believe, though, that he has evolved more with art than would have happened because “the basic impulse is sensitivity to the world around”. But, the distress and the sorrow remain and that awareness does not go.
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Magic and Masala Black magic…. ghosts…. spirits. Things hitherto beyond the realm of human understanding. Do these things really exist? Despite this producer Ashok K. Kotwani has come up with India’s first film on black magic. Winner of Seagate Award (best visual effect) and nominated among the three best VFX films (FICCI), “Ho Sakta Hai” was screened at ‘Festival De Cannes (France) and Filmpur 2005 at England. The small audience watched the first ever-Indian movie based on black magic at Kiran, Chandigarh.’Ho Sakta Hai is written and directed by Wilson Louis. It fails in the script and storytelling ‘departments. Visual affects by Maya Entertainment only steals the show. Victor Banerjee and Mohini give good performance. Khalid, Mukesh Tiwari and Baby Dharmik are average. Foreign actress Hazell have little to do. Carrying the tag ‘The poison of power’, Ho Sakta Hai fails to impress the viewers. *** Ocean Media International and Gul Achhra present the Banana Brothers, which is produced and directed by Tellywood Dhritrashtra Girijaa Shankar. Having produced, Ab Aayega Maza and serial Ishq for Doordarshan, he has come up crossover Hinglish light-hearted attempt, which depicts the story of two such individuals and their trials and tribulations. This breezy entertainment boasts of some good laughs, excellent visuals, good soundtracks comprising Hindi, Punjabi and English songs composed by experienced music composer Jai Dev Kumar. Anupam
Kher, Gulshan Grover, Johny Lever and Gursevak Maan does a good job. A well crafted light comedy. — D.P.
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TECH TALKS Most people think chain mails are harmless, fun and nothing to worry about. But there can be sinister undercurrents to many of the chain mails that are currently circulating on the Internet. Some chain mails will wrongly assume an air of authority purporting to be from a particular company or charity when this is simply not true. No company or charity will ever request help, information or funds through a mass circulated email. Likewise, no charity, company or individual will donate 100 Rupees/ Dollars/Pounds each time an email is forwarded. No petitions or judicial cases have been won through chain emails. No political prisoners have been released through chain emails. When the reader is fooled into thinking they are contributing to a good cause, it is wrong. It is also wrong and illegal to send an email on behalf of an individual or company when you have not been given the authority to do so. Not so harmless:
Still think chain mails are harmless? There are many negative effects of these mails and at times illegal too. Here are just some of the true consequences of forwarding chain emails. Privacy Risk — Most chain emails or ‘forwards’, as they are commonly known, will have a mass of emails already included in the mail. When a document is circulating online it picks up any number of email addresses, these addresses are then forwarded without being removed. This increases the risk of spam and virus threats. Most of the times, it is the spammers who originate such emails in an attempt to collect several thousand email addresses (including yours). Lack of Reliability – When a chain mail is carelessly forwarded, there is no possible way to check the authenticity of the claims or tracing the origin of the mail. Legal and official correspondence will always include contact information, which is lacking in such emails. Illegal Mail — Did you know many of the major email providers explicitly prohibit sending and forwarding chain emails? You could have you account disabled if your provider discovers you are actively encouraging chain mail through forwarding them on to your contacts. Spam Traffic – Chain emails often overload the already-loaded mail servers into handling unproductive email traffic. Lost Time: It is not uncommon for chain emails to reach astounding volumes. Imagine if each sender forwards to 10 friends, who further join the chain and this chain continues to just 10 steps, the volume of email circulation would reach a whopping 10,000 Million emails. Assuming each sender spends just 2 minutes to read and forward these emails, the human time lost in dealing with this chain would be over 100,000 man years (assuming an 8 hour man-day). What a waste!!! Take care: Courtesy: Atul Gupta, CEO – RedAlkemi.com.
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PAMMY’S BEAUTY TIPS Shaving — a pain in the neck, literally! Rolling out of bed, sticking your bleary eyed face in the mirror and scrapping off the stubble is not the best thing to look forward to every morning. Shaving is an invasive activity, putting sharp blades next to your skin removes the top layers of your skin. It’s worth taking a bit of time over your shave and using the right gear. Don’t abuse your face—minimise damage and improve your shaving results. With male grooming on the rise, men are spending more money and time than usual on grooming. The global male grooming market is worth £6 billion, and has increased by 800 per cent since 1998. Men’s grooming is a booming market with shelves overflowing with new products. Proper skin care for men is an issue, which is often overlooked. Don’t be enticed into buying just about everything that catches your eyes. Stay away from foam-based shaving creams as they can irritate and dry skin. For sensitive skin, use non-acnegenic shaving cream full of lubricating agents. Products with alcohol should be avoided as they will dry your skin and shrink the pores. Most old-fashioned colognes have a very drying effect on the skin. A better way to go is to apply soothing gel or balm as they put the moisture back into the skin and calm it down. Ingrown hair also known as razor bumps, they happen when hair curls and re-enters the skin, and it creates ingrown stubble. Ingrown hair is unsightly and painful. They result when the shaved hair gets trapped inside the hair follicle or grows back into the skin resulting into scarring, redness and swelling. Known by the name of Pseudofolliclitius Barbae (PFB). There are several products that claim to help treat ingrown hair but the truth is that Saliclyic acid is the one active substance that can improve ingrown hair. Keeping your skin pores clean, moisturise and exfoliate can help a great deal. Use an exfoliating scrub help soften and release any trapped hair. For bump free skin, use a post-shave product with salicylic acid so it remains on your face the whole day. Use a gentle face scrub daily with Salicylic acid and glycolic in it. Using products that contain azulene, allantoin and witch hazel will help to reduce the redness and swelling. It will help to use a soft bristle brush and liquid face wash in a circular motion to help dislodge the tips of ingrown hair, clear follicles to allow hair to surface and get rid of the dead skin. Electric dry shavers are of no use to men with difficult stubble. Electric wet shavers are available but are no good for close cutting and getting the fiddly bits. The majority of shaving must be done with in the direction of hair growth (downwards), shaving against the grain is required at the end of a shave to reach for those stubborn areas. Always use a single-blade razor and do not stretch your skin do not put too much pressure on the blades. Shave in the shower; shaving should be the final step before you step out of the bathroom. The moisture from the bath helps open your pores and soften them. Use pre-shave oils to help glide blades without scrapping.
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WRITE RENEE I am a 27-year-old woman who has had a very tough life over the years. There was every problem possible, emotional, family, financial even the man I fell in love with was the wrong one. Slowly my confidence levels kept going down and although I maintained a brave front, inside I always felt completely miserable. A lot of times I feel like giving up on life, and have to really pull myself out of it. Please suggest what to do. Leela Raina, Chandigarh Dear girl, please don’t loose heart and just pull yourself together. You have been living in stress for too long and have just allowed it to overrule your life. The door to feeling good opens from within you. First you must learn to relax yourself only then can you clearly see your problems and sort them out. First learn to trust yourself. Do some breathing exercises to feel calm. Join a yoga class to ease out and mentally give yourself some suggestions. Affirm every-day “I am well and safe” repeat it like a mantra. Also join a small club or group of people where there are like-minded people. You can discuss your problems and deal with situation with a little help from each other. You just need some emotional support find it within and life will change definitely for the better. I am 39-year-old, have two beautiful girls. I am separated and live on my own. The problem is that I work for a living, bring up my two girls, am studying for a degree in law and spare time just flies in housework. Although I am a very positive person, I feel that time is just constantly running out on me. I feel that I have to keep everything going constantly. Although I fulfill my daily commitments, nothing seems really planned for the future. When I sit down with myself alone suddenly the future looms large in front of me and I feel stressed. How can I plan my life in such a way amidst all my commitments that I may be able to make more time for myself daily and also plan a future for myself? Ritu Sarin, Chandigarh Hats off to you, for maintaining such a brave front, and single handedly dealing with your life in a very positive and mindful way. The mere fact that you consider making it even better for yourself and your kids shows that you are a very courageous woman. On a practical level you can ease the pressure on your time by a little organization on your domestic front. Prioritize your time on your chores and give yourself time for the gym or a yoga lesson. You just need to de-stress somewhere. Let the adrenalin flow on and keep feeling charged and cheerful. Focus on your new career goal and make an action plan to arrive at if with speed and clarity. Do not allow any space for dissatisfaction. When you move forward in on organized fashion life will automatically shape wonderfully. I am a married man in my late 30’s. I seem to have it all as far as good living is concerned, a beautiful wife, a wonderful kid, a sweet home and a super job. Despite all this my level of happiness is rather low. I am constantly in a state of insecurity over some thing on the other. My financial condition always bothers me immensely. My self-esteem seems to hinge around it. I am making constant comparison with my fellow neighbours over my cars, or my house or something or the other. It is like a constant fear that things might not always be so good. Why can’t I just appreciate my good life instead of fretting? I seem mentally fatigued with these thoughts. Please help. Manvinder Sokhi, Panchkula Young man, you are definitely not alone in thinking the way you are. Most men as boys are raised to believe that their self worth is dependent on their material possessions. They are just taught that “you are who you project you are” and your material possessions are an adequate gauge of your position in society. Why are you looking for so much validation from people around you? Learn to connect with yourself. I suggest just spend some time with yourself alone. Even two or three days in the mountains perhaps! Connect with nature in order to touch your own inner core. Ask yourself how you can stop competing with others and learn to be happy with yourself by connecting with life. What is really important in life? Just teach yourself to be grateful for what you have, after all these are only things that are transitory, it’s your relationships in life that are important. Give them move weight-age and count yourself blessed.
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Money may be able to buy happiness, but it cannot give you that clear complexion. For that, you need to take proper care of yourself. And apply stuff pulled out of your kitchen cabinet. Just in case, you do not have time for even that, go in for ayurvedic beauty products made out of the same stuff, like so many other city residents.
How would you perceive a woman who decides not to be wed-locked? Vulnerable and defensive about the choices she’s made (or haven’t made!) in life? Erratic and emotionally insecure? Sure about everything else— career-et-al—but careless and confused about relationships? 
April
this year brings with its butterflies, blue skies and bookshops in a new
avatar! With two of the city’s big stores, Browser in Sector 8 and
Capital Book Depot in Sector 17 undergoing frenetic renovations and
promising to emerge spic and span, spiffy and spicy, there is plenty to
look forward to in the sizzling summer months ahead.