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Kali’s child has arrived
WRITE TO RENEE Of Pride and no Prejudice Film & FASHION
A story retold Getting healed the Rudraksha way Kituu-the upcoming TV star
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Solemates no more Young pairs walking hand in hand are almost extinct as couples prefer long drives over a leisurely gait in the sun, says
Saurabh Malik The slight crackle of dry winter twigs breaking under the leisurely gait of strolling couples, mingled with short and frequent sighs, have faded away into oblivion. As you saunter down the track running along the Sukhna Lake, you hardly feel the presence of young pairs walking hand in hand, affectionately. Of course, you see migratory lovebirds perched on the hard iron benches chirping sweet messages of love for hours at a stretch at the lake and other places. But young couples stretching the legs together in a world of their own have disappeared, suddenly. “Perhaps, the youngsters prefer long drives over leisurely walks in the sun, I do not know,” says regular visitor to the lake Romit Singh. “The fact remains that the count of walking pairs has greatly diminished over the past few years. I am afraid the species is fast becoming extinct”. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, the retired teacher exclaims, “No wonder, the long narrow road meandering between the Government College for Girls and GCM after passing through the city’s history is fast losing its reputation of lovers’ lane”. Inviting you to a trip down the memory lane, Romit says, “In our days, walking was a fashion.... After parking our cycles in the lot behind the lake, we would hold hands in an affectionate grip before footnoting away from the prying eyes of nosy public into sheer pleasure and bliss”. Passing frail fingers through silvery hair falling lightly on his brow creased with deep furrows of experience, he smiles, “I am talking of the mid 70s. It was all so platonic then. We were soul mates, nay solemates. Not like the youngsters today. They only think of stealing love in the shadow of the night, and day”. Flashing a reconciled smile, he says, “The youngsters have travelled far since then. Their way of expressing and enjoying love has undergone a sea change. I guess it was inevitable”. Quoting Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s “The Passing of Arthur”, he says, “The old order changeth, yielding place to new, And God fulfiller himself in many ways, Lest one good custom should corrupt the world”. As he speaks, you hear at your back from time to time the sound of horns and motors with drivers rushing to meet deadlines, or appointments, cutting their way through the mad rush of humanity. You turn around and find a crowd flowing over the roads under the brown fog of a winter dawn in an unreal city. As they zip down the fast track of existence towards an unseen, not fore suffered, prosperity, you realism there is actually no scope for walking couples in life.
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Kali’s child has arrived 12 million persons were displaced as a result of the Partition, nearly one million dead. Some 75,00 women were raped, kidnapped, abducted, forcibly impregnated by men of the other religion, thousand of families were split apart, homes burnt down and destroyed, villages abandoned. Refugee camps became a part of the landscape of most major cities in the North, but half a century later, there is still no memorial, no memory, no recall, except what is guarded, and now rapidly dying, in families and collective memory. —
An exerpt from Urvashi Butalia’s ‘The Other Side of Silence -
Voices from the Partition of India’. Urvashi Butalia is co-founder of Kali for Women, India’s first feminist publishing house. She has been active in women and civil rights movement in India and writes on issues relating to women, media, communication and communalism. She is in the city to attend a seminar on the Conflict and Peace, organised by the institute for communication and development. Can you tell us about the woman’s movement in India, in which you were an active participant? The women’s movement in India has for long been one of the most dynamic of political movements. It is strong, diverse and widespread and has taken up issues like dowry, rape, health, contraception, the right to food, selective abortions, violence against women and so on. It’s a movement that exists in India’s villages and towns. There is a lot of criticism of the movement accusing it of being urban and western, but it is none of those things. In your CV, it is mentioned that you established India’s first feminist publishing house. What does this mean? Kali for women (set up in 1984) is a publishing house set up specifically to publish works on and by women, an area that had so far been neglected by publishers. We publish books that focus on women, to draw attention to their writings and their contribution and to respect what was going on in the women’s movement. Is there an ideological shift in your new publishing house Zubaan? No. There is no ideological shift. Zubaan is a child of Kali. The only difference is that Zubaan will publish and does publish books that are a little more broadbased. It reflects the changes in the movement. We publish fictions as well. And importantly Zubaan publishes books for young adults and children. Why so gender specific? Why not? No one asks this question of men. Virtually all publishing for the last 500 years has been about men. No one says why. We are publishing on the other half of the world, not only for the other half. Our books are for everyone. So I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. How do you survive in the face of mega publishing houses like Harper Collins, Penguin etc? It’s difficult, also difficult to balance your politics and market demands.
We survive by keeping overheads low, maintaining standards, publishing good books, exporting outside to earn some money, we also do collaborative publishing with mainstream publishers. We don’t know whether we will continue to survive, but even if we don’t, we know we will have done a good job. Tell us about your book on subaltern history? My book is called “The Other Side of Silence: voices from the Partition of India”. It’s an oral history of the Partition and looks at the hidden histories of how people, especially ordinary people lived through that time. It is not a history of the Congress or the Muslim League. I would not call my book subaltern histories – to my mind subaltern historian in India have been remarkably gender blind and I want to have nothing to do with them! What brings you to Chandigarh? I’m here to attend a seminar on conflict and peace organised by the institute for communication and development. It’s a consultation actually, that takes into the various issues that have come up as a result of increasing violence, conflict, political violence and growing terrorism. The IDC is an excellent organisation and well placed to do this research. I must say another temptation is coming back to Punjab where I belong.
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I’m in my mid forties and have been a devoted family member my life. It’s just that as life passes by, I find it more and more difficult to feel happy with the way things are. The moment I get home from work, my wife starts nagging me over small things and I get very disturbed. Earlier I would overlook it and laugh it away but now it’s getting unbearable. Earlier, I felt a sense of great pleasure in helping my kids with their homework and in playing with them. But now they’ve grown up and have lives of their own. I’ve now started going to a gym in the evenings where I’ve become friendly with this very charming woman. I’ve actually started looking forward to these gym sessions. I wonder if it’s fair on my wife and family? What should I do? Sunil Sarin, Patiala Well, whatever it is, its good that your boredom with home scenario has prompted you to go for a worthwhile physical activity. It’s very important that you should not allow yourself to become lethargic and pot bellied. But in the process, don’t allow yourself to get carried away. Do try and pay yourself and your wife more attention. Take a holiday with her as a stress buster. Life will pick up even at home. Go to the gym with a healthy perspective and a desire to genuinely feel good about it. My steady boyfriend of five years is going to Australia for further studies. We’ve always been very close, growing up together and it’s been mutually accepted by us that we shall be getting married. But now I’m beginning to wonder if our relationship will be able to survive this parting. I’m all the more insecure as most of my friends have been presenting me with a very bleak picture. But I can’t dissuade him from going as it would be really unfair on him. I care a lot for him and want to see him happy always. What should I do? Alisha Mehta, Sec 36,Chandigarh I can well understand your predicament. We all want our loved ones to progress and yet we all feel threatened and insecure. It is natural to feel like that. But I don’t think you should dissuade him from going for further studies. If he loves you genuinely, he’ll definitely come back to you after his studies. Have faith in yourself and your relationship. And most importantly, have faith in God. If the two of you are destined to be together, nothing in the world can stop you from that. I have a strange problem. My husband is very jealous of my baby daughter and keeps throwing tantrums. He’s started behaving very strangely since she’s born. He cribs that I ignore him and give all my attention to our kid. I find this attitude very offensive as I always believed that a child bonds a husband and a wife. I wish he would understand that a five month old baby is very demanding in terms of time. Its not that I don’t love him but what should I do? Pamela Singh, Chandigarh Your husband must be very much in love with you and is hence feeling ignored post the birth of your child. A lot of men go through this syndrome. You have to understand that every man likes his time with his wife to be his alone and sharing it with anybody, even with his own child, makes him a bit insecure. The ball is in your court here. You have to make him realise that the child in no way threatens your affection for him. He has his own place in your life just as your daughter has. Neither can be in each other’s place, as you love both of them in your own way. He has to just understand and mature to the idea and learn to live as a family man. Groom him to it!
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Of Pride and no Prejudice The latest movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, directed by Joe Wright, released in USA in November, inspired Rabia Tewari to do a fresh take on the Jane Austen’s classic When Jane Austen penned this opening line almost two centuries ago, wonder if she knew this truth would remain universally acknowledged for centuries to come. It was not time, decade or century bound. It’s the most obvious assumption made by a single woman’s family, friends, colleagues and even her doorman, hairdresser and masseuse, the moment anyone of them meets a single man of any significance. In a split second they all turn matchmakers. Single men, assumed to be “in want” of a wife, probably go through similar experience too. There are many single men and women with successful careers but, alas, mateless! Their over-anxious parents, relatives and friends, trying to help, distribute the poor soul’s phone number with hearty and indiscriminate abandon. As a result, more times than one, dating no longer seems fun, it becomes a chore. Many a times, the “date” is somebody who’s absolutely from the left field and every minute spent is so unbearable that the brain suggests million-per-minute reasons to run! But what about the X and Y generation women of today? Are they truly “in want” of a husband, or is that a need society dictates? These women have very successful careers, live on their own, pay their own bills, win corporate boardroom battles, carry their own luggage, open their own door, and order their own food and wine. They are independence personified. Many researches show that although women have now taken over most roles and responsibilities that were previously male specific, they still give their all to home and family. They don’t seek power just through the workplace. Fulfillment for women often means having a happy home. They pursue their careers full-throttle and also look forward to a successful personal life. While consistently moving ahead, women have secured a position of prominence. So is it time then to rewrite our opening line to read - It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a husband?
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Film & FASHION Former “Beatles” band member John Lennon’s mistress May Pang has revealed that it was the late singer’s wife, Yoko Ono, who encouraged Pang to have an affair with her famous husband. Pang claims that Ono herself came up to her when she was a 22-year old secretary and told her that the couple was having marital problems. She added that Yoko then asked her to have an affair with Lennon, if he should ever ask. “John and I are not getting along. We’ve been arguing. We’re growing apart. John will probably want to start seeing other people. May, I know he likes you. If he should ask you to go out with him, you should go,” the Mirror quoted Ono, as telling Pang. The former mistress revealed that it was Yoko’s Japanese roots that led her to choose her husband’s concubine. “In the Japanese tradition, the concubine fulfils your husband’s needs if you cannot, but you are still married to them. That was the way of life in Japan when Yoko was growing up,” she said.
—ANI John Lennon’s murder in 1980 came as a surprise to the world, but Stevie Wonder insists that he had predicted the legend’s demise. The ‘Ebony and Ivory’ star said that he was not surprised by Lennon’s assassination and always feared that his atheist beliefs would bring about his demise. “After he died, I couldn’t stop crying whenever I heard “Imagine”, but I wasn’t surprised that he’d been shot. The guy said he shot him because he said he didn’t believe in Jesus,” Contactmusic quoted him as saying. Mark David Chapman, who gunned down Lennon outside the Dakota Building in New York City, insisted that his inner voice urged him to kill the former Beatle.
—ANI Oprah’s couldn’t fool Mummy
American talk show host Oprah Winfrey has revealed that she once staged a robbery to get rid of a pair of glasses she hated but her mother, the only person she was supposed to fool, saw right through the trick. According to Winfrey, after her mother warned her not to ‘accidentally’ break her glasses, the only way she could think of getting a new pair was if she broke the hideous one she had, and made it look like a robbery. Oprah said that she even went to the extent of admitting herself into the hospital and pretending to have amnesia when her mother came to visit. However, all her efforts came to naught as her mother saw right through the whole charade.
—ANI Emma Watson attached to her role Harry Potter actress Emma Watson has admitted that it would “kill” her if she was replaced in the role of “Hermione Granger” in the magical movie saga because she has formed an emotional attachment to her character. “I know if anyone else were to play Hermione, I would not be able to deal with that. It would kill me. I’m hugely close to her,” Contactmusic quoted Emma as saying. However, despite her comments, Emma, who has played in all four Potter movies to date, has refused to confirm whether she will be staying for its forthcoming sequels, stressing that she would only sign up, if she truly believed she could devote herself to movies. “An 11-month film is huge. You work adult hours. So I think I would never want to do it if I felt that I wasn’t going to give it 100 per cent,” said the 15-year-old actress. “So I’m not really thinking about the future. I just take it one film at a time, because otherwise I get a little bit overwhelmed,” she added.
—ANI Paltrow was a ‘retard’ in maths Hollywood beauty Gwyneth Paltrow may be playing the role a math genius in her new movie, but when it comes to her real life, her mathematical skills are so bad that she can’t even figure out what kind of a tip to leave at the end of a meal. The 33-year old actress revealed that she was stunned to learn that she had been cast opposite Sir Anthony Hopkins in the movie, “Proof”, as the role entitled her to play the character of a math genius, and added that she had found the whole situation ironic as she had been an absolute dud in the subject, while in school. “I was terrible, on a retard level, at maths so it’s very ironic that I’m playing a maths genius because I can hardly figure out what percentage to leave as a tip at the end of a meal,” Contactmusic quoted her, as saying.
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hats off The haute indulgence of the haughty richie-rich and a humble companion of the not-so-deep-pocketed. A statement of authority and aristocracy on one hand, an expression of flamboyance and freedom on the other. The style statement of Sherlock Holmes and guitarist Carlos Santana, the de rigueur costume accompaniment of Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand and our lion villain Ajit, no less! They are none other than the forever fashionable and sinuously stylish— hats. What makes them such a hot favourite? We find out. Plonked on the heads since ages, they’ve survived the Stone Age and the flower-powered sixties alike. But it’s the protection they provide from the vagaries of weather that has brought them back with a bang. “I guess hats are a must for every winter wardrobe. I generally wear a hat over a tight well-fitted cap on my head. It keeps me warm besides giving me that Aristocratic look,” laughs Simran Kharbanda, an engineering student. Adds Rashmi Dhir, her friend who loves to hobnob at jazzy parties, “It’s true that hats are not very versatile as an accessory. One can’t wear them with every outfit at all occasions. However, they look excellent with long flairy skirts and capris.” “Actually, hats are very bulky and difficult to store as they occupy a lot of space. But still I have two of them in my wardrobe as are somehow very classy.” Opines Megha Vaid, a psychology honours student. Shweta Juneja, an MBBS student, is another one who goes gaga over hats, “A hat worn with a skirt balances it’s length and width and gives me a very romantic look. I also wear it with my fitted capris for that freaky funky look.” Laughs Nidhi Bajaj, a city based designer, “Hats nowadays are very beautiful and feminine. No longer do we have just those formal tall stiff top hats for men alone. We can now go in for wide brim hats with flowers, ribbons straws and feathers.” Available in various fabrics like silk, velvet, leather, straws, felt and beaver, hats are a best bet for summers as well as winters. They protect you from harsh cold, a sun-tan and give you that flamboyant look.” Chuckles Sonia Jaswal, a young collegiate, “We used to have a hearty laugh watching in movies those English women wearing hats, sitting stiff-backed with their heads held high. But now, hats are fashionable in India too. Young girls wear them in summers to prevent tanning, in winters to keep themselves snuggly and at theme parties and adventurous expeditions to sport that funky look.” Hats are getting hot, no doubt. Time for you too to pick up your shopping bags, hop on the bus, buy lots of
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Getting healed the Rudraksha way Rudraksha beads are said to have a beneficial effect on the body, mind and on one’s spiritual advancement. Many scientific studies get quoted stating their electromagnetic properties. The number of mukhs (segregating lines) of the rudraksha endows it with different properties. And then, there is the problem of segregating the original ones from the fake ones. To find a solution to these problems, a Rudraksha exhibition organised by Rudra Sansar, New Delhi is underway at S.C.O. 1092-1093, Sector 22 in the city. Rudraksha in Sanskrit means eyes of Lord Shiva and legend has it that the trees bearing the Rudraksha beads came into being from the tears of Lord Shiva. The tree Elaeocarpus Ganitrus Roxb grows in select locations in North India and Nepal. Manoj Verma of Rudra Sansar can guide you while buying these powerful beads and also issues a certificate of authenticity for every bead you buy. These beads improve concentration, focus and mental stamina. If worn around the heart, it helps control stress levels, blood pressure and hypertension. A rudraksha is also endowed with anti-ageing properties. Different mukhi rudrakshas, numbering from one to 14, can be combined for positive results in friendships, political careers, marriages and also in studies. Astrologers are there to offer free consultation and literature for reference is available free of cost at the exhibition. The exhibition is on till December 9.
— TNS
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Kituu-the upcoming TV star Ami Trivedi, who plays the character of Kituu in Kituu Sabb Jaantii Hai on SaharaOne, was honoured with a special memento of ‘Promising upcoming TV star’ at the Young Achievers Award instituted by the Indo-American Society. The award was presented at a glittering ceremony on Saturday at the Hilton Towers in Mumbai. After receiving the momento, an overjoyed Ami said, “I’m elated on getting this honour. This has been possible because the role of Kituu that has been well received by the viewers. I thank SaharaOne Television for acknowledging my talent and routing it in the most suitable way.” Ami truly is on ‘cloud nine’
—TNS
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Health and Fitness Ear-ache: Commonly seen in children, a very painful condition with or without discharge from the ears. Do not poke a pin or needle in the ear. It can cause an infection and can also perforate the ear drum causing hearing loss. — Dr Rashmi Garg is senior consultant, Fortis, Mohali.
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I have loved the opening line from my all time favorite novel since I first read it years ago. Satire, sarcasm and truth coexist in this one statement. It sets the plot of the entire tale. Adaptations have appeared on screen in many forms so far, some faithful to the author and others downright damp.
It’s true, like it or not, we are products of Hollywood and Bollywood sentimentality and romance. We are supposed to just see him or her, there is instant chemistry, phone numbers exchanged, and you just know that you’re in love. That woman next to you in line at the book shop, who gives you a knowing smile. That guy on the train who is too busy checking you out to read his newspaper. Could this be love? Maybe in the movies. Or maybe
not!
Stevie predicted Lennon’s murder
Healing by natural techniques is getting popular as the world gets increasingly afflicted with lifestyle diseases like hypertension, diabetes and depression.
ARIES: You have the courage to look honestly at your own faults. A project will turn viable with prospects of yielding substantial monetary gains. Lucky number: 10. Lucky colour: Crimson.
LIBRA: Put some openness and trust in new relationships to help them grow. Professional growth and a raise in salary is expected. Be very polite in your conversations. Lucky number: 5. Lucky colour: Deep red.
TAURUS: The karmic "wheel of fortune" turns in your favour. A new friendship with the opposite sex shows signs of long-lasting commitment. Lucky Number: 7. Lucky colour: Green.
SCORPIO:
Freelancers will be inundated with an huge amount of work. You must fulfill your financial obligations. Release mental stress by letting go of past issues. Lucky number: 1. Lucky Colour: Yellow.
GEMINI: Beware of obsession with material objects. Avoid making unnecessary purchases. You will keep a proper control over the people working under your influence. Lucky Number: 2. Lucky colour: Emerald. 
SAGITTARIUS: Self-employed people can diversify their present businesses especially abroad. At the best of times, you are happier being alone with your thoughts. Lucky number: 9. Lucky colour: Wine red. 
CANCER: You may be feeling tired and run down so take some time off to relax. Expressing your emotions will help sort out minor differences in close relationships. Lucky Number: 11. Lucky colour: Olive.
CAPRICORN: Balancing work commitments with family priorities is tricky. Strike the right balance to avoid upsetting loved ones. You will make good gains. Lucky number 7. Lucky colour: Silver grey. 
LEO : Be transparent about your feelings and innermost ideas. Give respect to your beloved and earn her trust. A transfer to another town or city is likely. Lucky Number: 2. Lucky colour: Crimson
AQUARIUS:
Making important financial decisions? Review all the facts before making any commitments. Be ready to offer praise and thanks wherever deserved. Lucky number: 4. Lucky colour: Deep crimson 
VIRGO: You will be in a relaxed mood and may not want to deal with mundane domestic chores. New relationships begun now could culminate into marriage. Lucky number: 19. Lucky Colour: Golden yellow.
PISCES:
Disagreements with loved ones can be resolved. Listen to other people’s point of view and give them some leeway. Abandon your pre-conceptions as to what you can do. Lucky number: 18. Lucky colour: Ebony