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The definition of child abuse varies from country to country. Acts that result in physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or neglect of children fall under the purview of law in almost all developed nations. In India, child abuse exists in many forms, but the laws are still ambiguous and most children suffer in silence, reports Sukhdeep Kaur Every
night and every morn
Not all days were as stressful but each day at work was challenging. She has dealt with some very hostile parents during her three and a half years of work in a Children’s Aid Society in Canada and was even at times threatened with gestures and words but when innocence is at stake it’s all worth it, is the doctrine that kept her zeal alive and kicking. However, there was something far more thought provoking than all this. Dr Simrit Kaur was often left wondering at the contrast the picture presented to her home country where child abuse exists widely in all forms, at times rearing up its most inhuman and ugly face, but where the laws are still ambiguous and most children are doomed to suffer in silence. Her doctorate, accomplished in England, was on child sexual abuse in Indian culture based upon the study of social workers and local women in Leicester in England (which has a large population of Indians) and Delhi in India. While her study was on one aspect of the problem — sexual — she feels that other forms of abuse can inflict as grave an injury. "In India, physical abuse is considered as an accepted form of enforcing discipline and does not merit any mention in talks or discussions on child abuse. Child abuse in developing countries is perceived only as child labour and child marriage," she laments. India vs Canada Paradoxically, in India, which places a high premium on chastity of women and yet has the largest number of child sex workers in the world, there is no single, specific definition of child abuse. It can at best be gleaned from a number of articles in the Constitution. Though the definition of child abuse varies from country to country, acts of omission and commission that can result in physical, sexual or emotional abuse or neglect of children fall under the purview of the law in almost all developed nations. By way of comparison, the situation in Canada shows where India is lagging behind. In Canada, there are both federal and provincial laws against child abuse. The Criminal Code, which is a federal law in effect across Canada, has a number of sections that deal with offences against children. Besides, every province and territory in Canada has laws pertaining to child abuse. Dark secrets Shama (name changed), a 30-year-old successful chartered accountant based in Delhi, still wakes up at night with the creepy feeling that someone’s hand is trying to fondle her. She has been reliving this nightmare since the age of nine when as part of a big, loving, joint family set-up, she discovered her 21-year-old cousin lurking in some corner of her room or his hand trying to feel her body in pitch darkness. She kept the secret to herself out of fear and shame and it was much later that she recalled the frightful incidents to her boarding school friends. But she was in for a greater surprise: Most of her friends had been victims of some form of sexual abuse during their childhood and had kept it under the wraps, confiding only to their mothers during times of crisis. Sadly, the mothers did all they could to avert the danger but precious little to bring the incidents out in the open. "Disbelief, denial and cover-up to preserve family reputation has made child sexual abuse an invisible crime in India. It seems there is an official denial of the existence of the problem. In fact, child abuse in India is as old as the joint family system and patriarchy. Though the problem is highly pervasive, there is pretence that it only inflicts the West. This also explains why there is no legislative framework in India to prevent such abuse and there has not been much data collection and research,"says Dr Kaur. Mahesh Dattani’s 30 days in September was a rare attempt at confronting the problem of incest (sexual abuse by someone biologically related to the child) through the medium of theatre. Commissioned by RAHI (Recovery and Healing from Incest), it has had over 100 shows staged in India and abroad. Dattani had attacked the common notion that abuse did not happen to urban, educated class children. According to studies, more than 70 per cent of urban women have been sexually abused in some manner. The play had tried to bring home the message that the child felt confused by the betrayal of trust and the process of healing was both slow and painful. Mumbai-based journalist-writer Pinki Virani, for the first time openly came out with facts and figures on sexual child abuse in the year 2000 in her book Bitter Chocolate and broke silence to narrate her own experience of abuse by an extended family member. Her work has also been staged as plays by theatre personality Lushin Dubey. "Two institutions play a very important role in a child’s life when it comes to sexual abuse: there is protection and there is prosecution. Protection is the job of the parent. Prosecution is the job of the state," Virani said in her book. "Stigma, secrecy and shame make the problem appear as an exception rather than a rule. Society can cope with stranger forms of danger but not with intra-familial threat as it challenges the very foundations of trust, faith and familial bonds. It is a danger ever looming in some corner of our so-called secure homes," says Dr Kaur, adding that the feminist movement and the so-called sexual revolution have made it easier to talk about the problem and bring it into the spotlight. She believes that there may be millions of children in India in need of someone to share their pain and help them overcome the feeling of personal guilt and shame that is caused by abuse; someone who wouldn’t cross-examine them, ask for disturbing details or make their private hell a public one. "They just have to be motivated to live without fear and disgrace. This would require educating and sensitising both, professionals and parents," she adds. Spanking A 16-year-old boy, Ram Abhinav, a student of Class 10 in Chennai, committed suicide after he being allegedly thrashed by a teacher for skipping school on his birthday. He left a note saying that he was killing himself because he did not want to go to school. This is not a rare case. Almost all schools inflict corporal punishment on students for various reasons. Kodandam was one such practice in vogue a generation ago in southern India. It meant hanging errant schoolboys upside down and thrashing them. In another version, they were hung upside down over red chillies, which were lit. The boys suffered, both from the beating and the pungent smell of the burning chillies. From savage punishments such as these to slaps, pulling ear lobes by sharp nails, hitting on the head of a child forcefully with a clenched fist or on the knuckles of his fingers with blackboard dusters, the method of inflicting pain has changed but corporal punishment as a conceptual method of imposing discipline continues. No wonder then that suicides or grave injuries like children losing eyesight or becoming hearing or physically impaired often make headlines after teachers take to indiscriminate use of the rod. In many Indian families, too, physical punishment is the norm. Hundreds of thousands of children are physically abused each year by someone close to them and thousands of children die from the injuries. For those who survive, the emotional scars are deeper than the physical ones. "Physical abuse can be any non-accidental physical injury to a child. Even if the parent or caretaker who inflicts the injury might not have intended to hurt the child, the injury is not considered an accident if the caretaker’s actions were intentional," says Dr Inderjet Kaur, a child rights activist and behavioural therapist. It has been shown by studies that persons who are more hit during their childhood are more likely to hit their children, spouses or friends when they reach adulthood. A frequently hit child will be a problematic person tomorrow, true to the adage — child is the father of man. Neither religion nor parenthood provides any legal authority to physically injure children for their so-called indiscipline and to enforce morality and character. Punishment may deter a child from repeating an act of indiscipline to some extent, but it cannot improve his understanding of the subject. This whole self-defeating pattern of reliance upon violence as the ultimate method of discipline is passed on from generation to generation. Little do even educated parents realise that a child cannot learn, reason or solve problems well while experiencing threat, pain, fear or anger," feels Dr Simrit. The law Corporal punishment is against the law in schools in some countries but not in others. Children in 11 countries are growing up without being hit in homes, in daycare or in schools. Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Austria, Finland and other countries that have banned corporal punishment of children have remarkably low rates of interpersonal violence compared to the United States, as parents think twice and tend to rely more on verbal conflict resolution to manage their children. A Division Bench of the Delhi High Court had held that corporal punishment was not in keeping with a child’s dignity. It said: "Inflicting physical punishment on a child is not in consonance with his or her right to life as guaranteed by Article 21 of the Indian Constitution. Even animals are protected against cruelty. Our children surely cannot be worse off than animals." The Goa Assembly in 2003 took the landmark step of banning corporal punishment by passing the Goa Children’s Act, which also covers sexual assault and incest — a great precedent for other states which rank much higher than it in child abuse cases. Rejection scars Monica, mother of a seven-year-old son and a homemaker, believes you don’t have to be a psychologist to understand your child. "As in other professions, while bringing up children, too, you learn more on the job," she quips. She believes parents have to be emotional anchors for their children. Ignoring, withdrawal of attention or rejection can also seriously jeopardise a child’s emotional development. Lack of physical affection such as hugs, lack of praise, positive reinforcement or saying "I love you", negative comparisons to others, belittling, telling the child he or she is no good, worthless, bad or a mistake, using derogatory terms to describe the child, name-calling, shaming or humiliating, making scapegoats out of them habitually or blaming or using extreme or bizarre forms of punishment such as confinement to a closet or a dark room or terrorising a child is no less a lapse. Neglect Neglect is a failure to provide for the child’s basic needs. It could take the form of physical, educational or emotional neglect. While physical neglect is not providing for a child’s physical needs, including inadequate provision of food, housing or clothing appropriate for the season or weather, lack of supervision, abandonment, denial or delay of medical care and inadequate hygiene, educational neglect is failure to enroll a child of mandatory school age in school or to provide necessary special education. Emotional (psychological) neglect is lack of emotional support and love such as not attending to the child’s needs for affection, psychological care, domestic violence in a child’s presence, drug and alcohol abuse in the presence of the child or allowing the child to participate in drug and alcohol use. Thus, some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect; regardless, they are both child abuse. Silver lining With child abuse cases being on the rise in most states of the country, the Department of Women and Child Development (WCD) in May this year has decided to undertake a survey to gauge the extent and magnitude of sexual, physical, mental and economic exploitation of children. According to available statistics, in 2003, the highest number of cases was reported from Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh, in that order. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? In two landmark cases, one relating to Anchorage Shelter of Mumbai and the other to Gurukul orphanage home of Goa, the respective countries of the pedophiles have extradited the accused. Indian child rights activists are now vociferously demanding special laws against child abuse to provide easier rules of evidence. Also, laws relating to charity homes and adoption should be unified to allow transparency. They also advocate introducing child rights as part of school curriculum to bring attitudinal change and greater community participation to report and thus prevent child abuse.
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SHE
makes her way through Toronto’s biting December chill, drops her
two-year-old daughter at the daycare and speeds across the snow-capped
roads to her destination, her mind in a constant state of trepidation.
The task at hand today is not just onerous but heart-rending too. She
has to apprehend a child, almost the age of her own little one, from
the custody of his parents and bring him into the care of a Children’s
Aid Society after the child is found to be in need of immediate
protection due to concerns about parents’ inability to provide
adequate care and supervision to him (both the parents, in this case,
were prone to drug abuse). Such a step is opted for as a last resort
after all previous intervention techniques, including counselling and
warning, fail to work. Haunted by disturbing images of the incident,
"there seemed to be not much choice," is what she tells
herself all the way back home.
