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| HER WORLD | Sunday, October 19, 2003, Chandigarh, India |
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Social monitor
Survival strategies
A lie perpetuated by men Fitness file |
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Social monitor
It's a different age now. The greens have disappeared to be replaced by greys. The ashramas have given rise to skyscrapers. However, the basic man has not changed. There is the same play of power, lust, hunger, societal barbs. Sita now works in office. 'I still am the favourite of my father. I still will choose my husband, if not in the Swayamvara, otherwise. However, Rama will not be my God today but my companion. I will protest against the injustice done to my husband. Although I might crib about his useless sacrifice of kingdom, I know I will still follow him . The times might be difficult but we shall enjoy our struggle. Ravana can kidnap me today also but Rama is entwined with me as fragrance with a flower. My Rama will come again to rescue me but will he ask for an Agni Pariksha? We shall celebrate the homecoming as will our near and dear ones. My husband will not give me up on a sarcastic remark. The kingdom he gave up for his father earlier he can give up again for his wife who stood by him through thick and thin. My children will be brought up well, nor shall they fight for material kingdoms .Nor shall I commit suicide if per chance my husband deserted me and wanted me back after realizing his mistake. It's a different age now.
I am tired of sacrificing. See me as a soul, not as a wife or a mother.
An individual, breathing, aspiring , struggling for her dreams. I am
just as faithful, just as family oriented, only a little more
individualistic, practical, judgemental. I don't want to prove myself
again and again. Accept me as I am, an equal, an achor and, most
importantly, give me unconditional love.
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Survival strategies
"I was making lots of money but felt stifled. The kick was simply not there. I was just fulfilling other peoples' whims," she recalls. She wanted to try out something new. So she designed childrens' shoes and sent the samples to UK. The day she got her first order, she quit her real estate job and started manufacturing and exporting bags and children's shoes. "For me probably, the biggest hook for the switch was to be able to work from home," says Malik. While most women continue to slog to keep their highly paying executive jobs, some are quitting to discover what they enjoy working on and how they can balance their multiple roles. Worldwide too, several women with high-profile jobs are quitting not to look after babies or enjoy home life but to strike a balance between office and their private space. When Carol Galley, joint chief executive of Merrill Lynch Investment in Britian, and one of the highest paid women executives in the world, quit in March 2000, she declared, "It's been a very demanding role and I am looking forward to having a more balanced lifestyle." In India too, women in hectic jobs, earning fancy salaries and exciting perks, are opting out of the rat race to settle for a slower but more satisfying work life. For some women, flexible hours and their ability to control their own time, has been the deciding factor. Tanmayee Das, 31, started as a travel writer and rose to become the managing editor of a group of travel magazines called Crossection Publications. She soon quit, as her work was consuming all her time. She decided to work for a quarterly fashion magazine from home. "It was actually perfect. Here I was doing something concrete and at the same time doing it at my pace. I don't have a fancy office now but I am the boss - of my time and decisions. And that counts," she says. "Women now are moving away from the 'I want it all' mindset and maturing on to 'I will take what I want'," says Dr Ashima Puri, resident psychologist at South Delhi's Aashlok Hospital. Puri sees this as a healthy sign. "It proves not just their confidence in the self but also depicts their new-found sense of work security." According to Puri, "More and more women are moving out of the regular-hour jobs. They are doing this not because of babies, family pressure or because they are expected to do so but because they want to. That this is a matter of choice and not compulsion, is the big silver lining of the trend." Although it is a challenge to be on one's own, the stress of a demanding job is absent. Malik does not feel she works any less hard now. "I work when it is necessary. There are days when I need to put in close to 18 hours and sometimes I just work for two hours and then relax the whole day," she says. The money too stays good. "After initial hiccups, I am making good money," says Malik. Das too is satisfied with the returns: "All it takes is a little planning." Equally satisfying are their relationships. "I feel that I am easier with people since I have changed the way I work. I am less aggressive and this has translated into more friends for me," shares Das. Puri also feels that women are rediscovering who they are. They are intelligent enough to chalk out their intellectual and personal needs. Puri gives the example of one of her clients who became a managing director in her twenties. She was so consumed by work that she did not even have time to make friends. At 27, she felt that her professional goals were becoming all encompassing and she was forgetting who she really was. She soon shifted to a flexible work schedule and made efforts to enjoy her personal life. Dr O.C. Kashyap, psychologist at
the Vidyasagar Institute of Mental Health and Neurological Sciences (VIMHANS)
agrees that women don't want to be super career women any more. "More and
more women are doing what counts for them. They don't just want to work, they
want to have fun too." "One big factor behind this shift is that the
stress of trying to do it all, in the last two decades or so, is beginning to
tell. Women today are facing a new turn in their careers. But they are turning
the corner very smartly," says Kashyap. — WFS |
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A lie perpetuated by men SINCE ages women have been forced to occupy a secondary place in the world in relation to men, in spite of the fact that women constitute numerically at least half of the human race. The concept of femininity rendering women weak and inferior both physically and intellectually is only a lie, a myth perpetuated by men in order to secure a complete control over the minds and bodies of women. In this connection Alice Schwarzer, a noted German feminist, in a recent radio interview remarked, "women do two-thirds of the work, but receive 10 per cent of the wages and own just one per cent of the property" and that the typical male characteristics such as aggression are not in-built but rather the result of upbringing.The breathtaking achievements of women in every sphere of life amply prove that there is no inherent relation between ‘female’ and ‘femininity’ and that gender is a social and cultural construct. The categories ‘male’ and ‘female’ are based on sex and the source of this difference is biological. Culture imposes a division of many human characteristics and activities into two parts—some are taken to be ‘masculine’ appropriate only for ‘men’ while others are termed as ‘feminine’ assigned to ‘women’. This opposition based on culture rather than biology is referred to as ‘gender’ and should be distinguished from sex. Michael Barret, a British woman activist, rightly puts it that patriarchy constructed ‘femininity’ with its twin images of women. On the one hand as the sexual property of men and on the other the ‘chaste mothers’ of their children. Patriarchy can be defined as the power of the fathers constituting a familial, social, ideological and political system in which men, by force, pressure or through ritual, tradition, law, language, education and the division of labour, have been determining what part women shall and shall not play. A woman is made to exist not in her own right but as ‘an accessory to man’. Numerous philosophical concepts have been contrived by men to show women as weak, foolish, unclean and mere sex-objects. In the legend of Adam and Eve it is Eve who is responsible for earning the wrath of God and the subsequent ‘Fall’. Men often quote this even as a proof of women’s folly and moral weakness. Aristotle remarked that ‘female’ is female by virtue of certain lack of qualities. St. Thomas declared women to be "imperfect men" while St. Augustine stamped woman to be "a creature neither decisive nor constant". For a Hardy, she is a commodity "for sale", and for a Hemingway she is a "horizontal refreshment". Since ages, women have been sold, purchased, raped, made to sing and dance, decorated and ornamented and socialised to play the role of "an angel in the house". The identity of a woman in a male-dominated world can best be deduced from an incident faced by Sojourner Truth, a woman activist. During one of her speeches she was asked by the audience to show them her breasts in order to prove that she was not a man in the guise of a woman. Women were always marginalised by denying them any opportunity that could lead to their development. Unbelievable but true, women were not allowed admission in the universities of England till 1878. Even in America it was only in 1841 that the Superpower produced her first woman graduate.
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Fitness file
ONE is often reminded of an advertisement on television wherein the presenter asks the female audience how many of their children suffer from lethargy, weakness, irritability, repeated infections, poor concentration, and decreased capacity for work. More than 50 per cent of the women raised their hands. Had the presenter asked the same women for these symptoms these cases is probably anaemia which affects 40 per cent to 90 per cent women in developing countries like India. In women, not only is anaemia responsible for a poor quality of life but also causes problems during pregnancy like increased urinary and genital infections, increased chances of high blood pressure and inability to tolerate routine blood loss at delivery. Babies born to such women are usually of lower weight and thrive poorly. Anaemia is a very common problem in developing countries. The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines anaemia as haemoglobin levels less than 11 gm. According to estimates, more than 500 million women in the world suffer from anaemia, and 16 per cent of the deaths in India, related to pregnancy, are attributed to anaemia. Generally, the mortality and morbidity of any disorder is high if it’s cause or treatment is either not known or is expensive. Strangely, the cause of anaemia is known and the treatment with iron simple and cheap, yet anaemia continues to take it’s toll in such large measure especially in developing countries. The drain on women’s health is more because of increased requirements during pregnancy, especially if they are repeated in quick succession, and because of monthly loss during periods. The most important cause of anaemia is nutritional deficiencies of iron mainly followed to some extent by lack of folic acid and vitamin B12 in the diet. Deficiencies of vitamins A and B2 also have a role to play. Iron deficiency leads to less formation of haemoglobin which is important for transporting oxygen to the tissues. Long standing lack of oxygen due to chronic anaemia can lead to weakening of the heart muscles and heart failure. Excessive breakdown of haemoglobin (hemolysis) due to drugs or infections can lead to haemolytic anaemia. Anaemia may also result from production of abnormal haemoglobins which are not as effective in oxygen carrying capacity as normal adult haemoglobin (haemoglobinopathies e.g. thalassaemia). Since the most important cause of anaemia is iron deficiency, treatment with iron should cure it. But it is not as simple as that. Treatment with iron may worsen the problems of the patient if the anaemia is due to, say, abnormal haemoglobin. In such cases, the body cannot utilise the excess iron intake which then gets deposited in body organs leading to their damage in the long run. Iron tablets are not sweets to be consumed after self diagnosis and without a doctor’s prescription. However, what women can do for themselves and for the health of their families is to have a diet rich in iron and other nutrients-in other words, a balanced diet. Sources of iron include meat, fish, poultry, cereals, green leafy vegetables (spinach, mustard leaves, fenugreek leaves, Bengal gram leaves, and turnip greens), tubers and pulses. Daily intake of about two tablespoons of cooked green leaves provide considerable iron per day. This is not very difficult as a variety of greens and innovative methods of presentation take the boredom out of food. Saag and spinach are easily available in this part of the country. Try green coriander (dhania), mint (pudina), green chillies chutney for a change or just toss a handful of dried fenugreek leaves (methi) in any vegetable or dal to enhance not only the flavour but also the nutrient value. Use jaggery instead of sugar wherever possible and go back to cooking in iron utensils. Add a source of vitamin C to the food to increase iron absorption e.g. squeezing a lemon over fish or salads is an excellent way to combine iron rich foods with vitamin C. Maybe a dash of amla pickle or chutney as a side dish is another way of sourcing vitamin C. No nutrient alone can do wonders. For building haemoglobin we need good sources of protein. So do combine all the greens on your table with protein rich foods like non vegetarian dishes, but if you queasy about this, use legumes (peas, beans, nuts and all podded plants used as food), pulses and cereals. If symptoms of anaemia persist despite a good diet, it might be worthwhile to visit the doctor who is, of course, going to ask you about history suggestive of worm infestation and excessive loss of blood from hemorrhoids (piles), ulcers and heavy bleeding during periods. Any menstrual period which lasts longer than seven days or requires more than 10 sanitary napkins per month or if there are clots or if there is there is daytime embarrassment or nighttime soiling, the woman is said to have ‘heavy periods’ which will then need investigation. However, despite the person’s best commitment to a good diet, the treatment of iron deficiency anaemia is very often required especially during times of great demand like pregnancy and convalescence. This is probably because nutrient content of foods is greatly influenced by soil conditions, use of fertilisers, pesticides, methods of preparation and processing of foods - all of which take away a large chunk of the vitamins and mineral content of food. Tablets of iron are usually prescribed in cimpination with folic acid and if there is adequate intake of protein and body building blocks as well, then an assured rise of haemoglobin is expected. iron tablets are best consumed 1/2 to 1hour before meals so that the absorption is not decreased by the phytates in food; avoid tea, coffee, antacids and calcium tablets along with iron preparations and start with lower doses if unable to tolerate oral iron. Continue to take iron and other supplements for at least 3 months after haemoglobin levels reach normal values so as to replenish the iron stores. Deficiency of dietary iron is almost always associated with other nutritional deficiencies as well. Therefore, for overall wellbeing it might be prudent to take other nutritional supplements of minerals and vitamins also in the presence of any single nutritional deficiency. (The writer is a
practising gynaecology) |
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I am
Sita the woman of my age. Thousands of years ago, when the earth was
greener and water purer I was born to Raja Janak. The darling of my
house, I wed the brave Rama in a svayamwara to go to his kingdom
Ayodhya. There, the river of my fortune changed its course. My husband
was exiled and I followed him, neither because of duty nor due to the
vows I had taken, but because he was the soul of my soul. The true
brother, Lakshmana accompanied us. For 13 years we wandered, lived on
berries, met numerous sages. The fourteenth year was again an eclipse
year when mighty Ravana kidnapped me out of revenge and imprisoned me in
his Lanka. I clung to Rama's memory as a little insect clinging to a
leaf which is being carried by the swirling waters below. My lord came
and rescued me only to discard me on the basis of a sarcastic remark of
a washerman. True, the praja is more important but then he never
enquired after my well-being in the sage Valmiki's ashrama where
his twin sons were born. I spent my years in silent agony, reconciled to
my fate when trauma returned again. The sons and father were about to
fight. I gave up my body so that Maryadapurshottam would not go
back on his word of accepting me again after publicly renouncing me.
DEBORAH
Malik, 33 and single, was till two years ago a business development manager with
C.B. Richard Ellis, a reputed real estate firm in Delhi. A St. Stephen's College
graduate, Malik was cruising along the corporate highway comfortably.