 |
|
| HER WORLD | Sunday, September 14, 2003, Chandigarh, India |
|
Social monitor
“Love for my father spurred me to do
my Re-imaging the Indian Woman American nightmare |
|
|
Social monitor
In Ujjain, Sandhya Chauhan, the only daughter of Mangilal Chauhan, lit the pyre of her father on the Shipra Ghat near the famous Mahakaleshwar temple. "I fulfilled my father's last wish that only I should perform his last rites," she told the awed but applauding crowd that had congregated to witness the unusual sight. Sandhya had been caring for her ailing father for the past two years; she was the only earning member of the family of three, including her mother. "My father used to say since you have served me as a son, you should act like a son during my last rites also," she says. That a woman should be allowed to perform the last rites of a Hindu in one of the most holy places has a special significance. For, the authorities of Ujjain's Mahaakaal temple duly approved the act. Ashes from adjoining Shipra Ghat (cremation ground) are used to propitiate Lord Shiva in the daily morning bhasma aarati (ritual in which ashes are used) in this famous temple. Around the time Sandhya was challenging the Hindu custom of not allowing women to enter cremation grounds, another young woman was setting a similar example in Allahabad, one of the holiest of holy Hindu pilgrim centres. When retired government officer K.K. Pandey died, Rita, his daughter-in-law, performed the last rites. None of his three sons turned up for the cremation. Unlike Mangilal Chauhan of Ujjain, Pandey had three earning sons. But all of them deserted him 15 years ago when he retired from service. Only Rita, the estranged wife of Pandey's youngest son, had stayed on to look after her ailing father-in-law, who called her "my bravest son". When Pandey died last month, his neighbours took the body to the cremation ground, hoping the sons would come. They didn't. "I had gone with the funeral procession, but stayed outside. After waiting for about an hour, I decided to perform the ritual myself. The pandits (priests) were hesitant to allow me, but there was no option," Rita says. In the past few years, several women have scaled such barriers, but only a few have done so in the conservative Hindu heartland. Within the Hindu religious order, and in common social practice, women priests have been largely disallowed from performing Hindu rituals and rites. In Coimbatore however, a Palghat Brahmin, Gomathi, has been running a funeral service with a large Brahmin clientele for over two decades. "With the help of my daughter Karpagane, we have helped conduct more than 10,000 funerals," says Gomathi, who found her calling (after her husband abandoned her), at the advice of an uncle, himself a priest who conducted last rites for the dead. "An NRI from Palghat was so impressed by my handling of his father's funeral that he asked me to light the pyre of his mother because he was unable to reach the place in time," Gomathi says with pride. In parts of Maharashtra, women priests have been performing Hindu rituals and rites, including the shraaddha ceremony to pay homage to departed ancestors. "With an increasing number of men of religion taking up other more lucrative vocations, women are now stepping into the gap to actually outnumber male priests in Maharashtra," says Dr Munjal, Chief Librarian of Pune's Bhandarkar Oriental Research Institute. Initially, male priests criticised and opposed the women priests; they felt a "soft-hearted" woman priest could not perform difficult rites like death anniversaries (shraaddhas). However, social acceptance enabled women priests to carry on and they now perform last rites too. As early as the beginning of the 20th century, Upasani Baba, a religious teacher and a contemporary of Sat Baba of Shirdi, set up a hermitage at Sakori for women. In this ashram, women were taught Hindu scriptures and trained to perform all rituals and rites. To keep the tradition alive, the Pune-based Shankar Seva Samiti began special classes in 1976 to train women in priestly work and towards fluency in Sanskrit. While there were only 16 women trainees to begin with, a positive response from society and the growing demand for priests resulted in more women trainees. "The women priests trained by the Samiti spread the knowledge by opening classes in various houses and as the number of students grew, the concept of the 'woman purohita (priest)' become popular. This activity has now spread to at least 10 districts of Maharashtra, and women priests are getting almost the same amount of dakshina (fees) normally earned by their male counterparts," says Dr Munjal, who has conducted a survey on Maharashtra's women priests. Hindu reformers who seek a redefinition of the woman's role in the Hindu order blame the entrenched Hindu orthodoxy for relegating an inferior role to the woman. The example of female Hindu scholars and philosophers like Ghosha, Lopamudra, Romasha and Indrani in the Vedic period and Sulabha, Maitreyi and Gargi in the Upanishadic period supports their logic. "This tradition is exemplified in a verse from the Brihadaranyakopanishad, which reads: 'atha ya icched duhita me pandita jayeta', (a well-to-do man always thinks that his daughter should be a scholar)," says Munjal. According to him, a narrow interpretation of the term pandita in the verse is taken to mean not 'scholar', but 'a woman adept in household duties'. A rise in the number of women priests in various parts of the country and their increasing social acceptance indicates that things are changing. But when Ujjain's Sandhya lit her father's pyre and Allahabad's Rita performed the last rites of her father-in-law in the heartland of Hinduism, they were actually setting a new trend. Two years ago, the Shankaracharya of
Kanchi, Jayendra Saraswati and other leading Hindu religious leaders had
publicly urged their followers "to shun the atrocious act of female
foeticide", recalls Vedic scholar and sociologist K.K. Sharma of
IIT Kanpur. "Had they accepted the suggestion (of the religious
leaders), it would have been the most effective way to end the evil of
female foeticide. It would have made untenable the Hindu notion that a
man is obliged to have a son for the benefit of his ancestors and his
own life after death. The examples of Sandhya and Rita should now make
them rethink," says Sharma. |
|
“Love
for my father spurred me to do IT is believed that Hindu religion does not permit a daughter to light the funeral pyre of her father. That is why most of the parents who do not have sons, remain depressed throughout their life. One of the major causes of their worry is about the performing of their last rituals after their death and filling of pinds and performing kirya and karam. In the fast-changing scenario, when we talk of equal rights to sons and daughters, why can not a daughter find parity from her parents regarding her duties towards them? Shashi, a young girl of Balol village of Kangra district, had to face a very piquant situation. After controlling her emotions, she rose to the occasion by lighting the funeral pyre of her father. She performed all the rituals which hitherto were considered sacred and complete only if performed by either sons or cousins of the family. Gian Chand, a government employee in his late fifties, was the father of three daughters aged 27, 25 and 18. He had educated all his daughters. Gian Chand fell ill and when, within two months, he succumbed to his illness, it was a big jolt to the entire family. They lost the only breadwinner As he did not have any son, Gayatri (wife of the deceased) requested one of Shashi’s cousins to light the funeral pyre and perform all the rituals. Since the marriage of his sister was due in next three days, he expressed his inability to perform the last rites. Later, another cousin was approached to perform the rites, but since his father was seriously ill and was admitted in a hospital at Kangra, he too said he could not spare 13 days for the rituals. He had to attend to his ailing father. Two days had come to pass and foul smell started emanating from the dead body. Gayatri Devi was in a state of shock. Shashi, the eldest of the three daughters, mustered courage and expressed her willingness to light the pyre. She came with no tears in her eyes, took her helpless mother in her arms, wiped out her tears and consoled her by saying that she was not less than a son and would perform all the duties of a son. As soon as she voiced her intentions, the villagers sitting outside the house started whispering among themselves. Most of them raised one objection or the other. Some of them even volunteered to perform the last rituals of her father. Shashi told them pointblank that she no longer needed any body’s sympathy and would do every thing all by herself. This silenced all the people sitting there. Since she was determined to go ahead, elders in the village and her mother accepted her decision. She then led the funeral procession by carrying Dhukhari to the funeral site. The villagers followed her along with her father’s dead body. After lighting the pyre, she filled the pinds and performed all the rituals. Recounting the experience, Shashi recalls: "I wanted to do B.Ed. after M.A. political science but at the time of my admission, my father fell seriously ill. I preferred to attend to my ailing father than to go for B.Ed. I left no stone unturned in attending and caring for him during his illness. It was all due to the love, affection and high ideals of my father that I could muster up enough courage to take such a step. My father brought up all his three daughters with great love. At no stage of his life did he feel the lack of a son. However, my mother occasionally used to feel bad". Now full of admiration for her daughter’s courage, Gayatri Devi said, "I am proud of my daughter’s brave decision. I wish that everybody is blessed with such daughters. Rather than begging either a relative or a third person for lighting the funeral pyre, why not get it done from one’s own daughters?" Regarding people’s reaction, Gayatri Devi said, "Whenever there is a social change, it is not easily accepted and digested by the people. But at least I do not bother about such trivial things". When Shashi was asked whether she took this step out of compulsion, she replied that by the grace of Almighty, she was feeling proud of herself while carrying out the entire task. "I loved my Papa very dearly and by performing his last rituals I had this duty-consciousness and satisfaction that I could fulfil the duty of an eldest daughter." Though at that time her action evinced a mixed response as it was a strange thing for villagers, with the passage of time, a majority of them have started praising Shashi. This episode has sent and a very clear signal. Parents who do not have sons need not feel distressed since there is not much difference between a son and daughter as proved by Shashi. People who give weightage to social opinion should learn from this example. They should exhort and accept such changes. On the one hand, we
consider foeticide an illegal act and a sin while on the other hand we
do not recommend more than two children due to population control.
That is why it is not always possible that there will be one son out
of two children in every house. It is imperative that daughters too
should have a right to perform the last rituals of their parents. It
might prevent people from hankering after sons. |
|
Re-imaging the Indian Woman The past three decades have seen the women artists succeeding in reinventing the Indian woman, writes
Nirupama Dutt
IT is the artist who gives a face to the gods and many times also to the human beings. The image of the Indian woman so celebrated painting, theatre, literature and cinema owes much to the great painter Raja Ravi Varma (1848 to 1906). It was Varma who gave a form to Sita, Damayanti, Shakuntala, Mohini and many others. Prints of his paintings still grace temples including the little pooja alcoves in homes. These images had an impact on early cinema and theatre and the image of the beautiful and fair woman wrapped in silk and loaded with ornaments became the popular image of the Bharatiya nari. The power of his creations was such that many painters like Dhurandar of Maharashtra and G. Thakur Singh and subsequently Sobha Singh were greatly influenced by him. In modern times we have seen the swing of taste and this style falling out of favour and the emergence of the lyrical bare-bodied women by M.F. Husain, the voluptuous damsels made by F.N. Souza and lank nudes by Jatin Das. These are the women made by men. But the past 30 years have also seen the emergence of the women artists in large numbers all over India and they have made a mark by re-imaging women.
What is the basic difference between women made by men and women made by women? Woman as represented by men is an issue that has generated a lot of scholarly works the world over. Commenting on a male artist painting a female nude, world-renowned art critic John Berger made a relevant point. He said: "You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, you put a mirror in her hand and called the painting Vanity, thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure." Closer home, leading artist Anjolie Ela Menon puts the women's vision in perspective by saying: "We view the female figure and the preoccupations of our gender with empathy as distinct from the voyeuristic nature of the male gaze." If we get to the work of the first lady of the Indian canvas, Amrita Sher-Gil, we see that she was not able to subvert the male gaze or the phenomenon of spectatorship. The women painted by Amrita seem to be offering themselves for gaze. After Amrita's early death in 1941, there is a long gap in which there were hardly any women artists on the scene. Amrita with her Indo-European parentage and European training in art was in a way a unique 'occurrence'. Besides the folk artists, art training for the average urban Indian woman was an accomplishment for the matrimonial market. Accomplishment meant knowing how to cook, sing, embroider and paint a little. It was only in the 1970s of the last century that a virtual flood of women artists appeared on the scene, equipped with degrees in art and ready to take up art as a vocation. The rise of the woman artist coincides with the rise of the women's movement. And from among these women we have today artists who have made a name for themselves home and abroad like Arpita Singh, Nalini Malani, Arpana Caur, Gogi Saroj Pal and many others. And the next generation has given many more women practicing in different areas of art with the way made easier for them by the pioneers. Interestingly, Bombay-based Nalini Malani took up a virtual fight with Ravi Varma in a very famous water colour of hers called ‘Re-thinking Raja Ravi Varma’ in which the musical beauties of the painter were pushed to the margin by flesh-and-blood women. And the centre space was taken by a supportive mother figure. The clear message was that women were no longer content to be the Barbie dolls of male fantasy.
Ask Arpana Caur what she thinks of the women as painted by Ravi Varma and her reply is, "Those women were not true to life at all. They were painted dolls and bedecked with ornaments like a Christmas tree. They were not working women like you and me." If Nalini re-thought Ravi Varma, in recent times we have seen Arpana re-invent Sohni of the Sohni-Mahiwal fame with a sure hand and heart. Sohni as depicted by Sobha Singh is a popular image and till some years ago the print of this painting used to be found in nearly every Punjabi middle-class home. This was Sohni beautiful and bedecked drowning with ecstasy in the Chenab. Arpana in her series of paintings on the theme, shows Sohni as a strong brave and earthy woman who defied the social norms and remained true to her love. Taking a cue from an eighteenth century miniature painting by Nain Sukh, Arpana has painted a brave woman battling against the waters of the turbulent river Chenab and meeting her end. Sohni is the very embodiment of female energy. Gogi's portrayal of woman has been very bold and strong. In her ‘Aaag ka Dariya’ series, she shows the woman crossing the river of fire of her existence by carrying a small female form in her hands. The woman thus takes the responsibility for herself and her daughters. What is very interesting is that women as painted by are contemporary woman artists are not static beings just content to sit or stand pretty. They are active beings shaping their destiny as also the world around them. If nothing else, they are at least brooding! In her beautiful series ‘Embroidering Phulkari and Memories’, Gogi's nayika does not embroider phulkaris merely to be stored in tin trunks but she embroiders the phulkari motifs on her own being and the environment around her. Anjolie who has painted brooding nudes,
Madonnas with children and also female empowerment as Shakti says,
" ‘She is me’ is often implicit, at least metaphorically, in
the work of most women artists." The autobiographical narrative, as
it were, runs parallel to the fabric of painting. |
 |
American nightmare THE United States of America, the land of riches and plenty, is home to highly depressed Asians. According to a recent study by the National Asian Women’s Health Organisation (NAWHO), while 10 per cent Americans currently suffer from depression, 22 per cent Asians in the US have a diagnosable mental disorder. Depression among Asians affects mostly young girls and women. "Asian Americans have the second-highest female suicide rate among 15 to 24-year-olds and the highest rate of depression symptoms for adolescents among all racial/ethnic and gender groups," says the NAWHO study, published earlier this year. Overall, African Americans have the highest depression rate in the US. The research claims that complex issues of racism, sexism, violence, high social expectations and pressures, poverty, cultural adjustments, lack of family support and post-traumatic stress disorder related to refugee experiences create high mental health needs among Asian Americans. The most disturbing news is about young Asian girls. In most Asian families, young girls take care of the elderly and act as translators for older family members. Despite these crucial responsibilities, girls in Asian families are still devalued. They function in a modern world, living with ancient biases. Many suffer guilt, anger, negativity and a lack of self-esteem. Take Anita, who is working part-time in a university to get free credits to finish her studies. Anita’s parents moved to the USA in the 1970s. "I don’t like my job, as I am constantly made to feel as an outsider. It’s stressful, but I cannot quit. Nor can I speak about it to anyone. It is unacceptable in my family," she says. Anita has been suffering from severe depression since last year. Family pressures to make it to the top drive many girls crazy. Mohini will soon major in aerospace engineering from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. "I always wanted to study fine arts. But I was forced to pursue engineering. My first two years in the university were traumatic," she says. She often thought of committing suicide. Then her friends took her for counselling. She is now able to cope with the stress. A study on Asian American students at the University of California, Berkeley, revealed that they were less social, less likely to express impulses or display feelings of anxiety, discomfort, loneliness and isolation. Though these students succeeded academically, their emotional well-being or adjustment skills were not satisfactory. "We get three to four cases of depression every week," says Dr Gauri Banerjee, Associate Professor, Emmanuel College and a core member of Saheli, an NGO working with the South Asian community in Boston. "Talking about such issues is still taboo." According to Dr Reef Karim, psychiatrist and media consultant, stress and depression occur due to the inability of Asian Americans to balance two cultures. "This balancing act is easier for some and difficult for others. People get two conflicting identities— one that feels comfortable within the community and family unit and the other which wants to explore the opportunities we get by living in this country." For women, the challenge is greater as they are not expected to express unhappiness about their relationships. Meeta Anand, a resident of Boston, didn’t realise for long that she was a victim of mental stress. "For six months, I consulted doctors for regular headaches and backaches. A physician suggested I go for counselling. I realised that there was a deeper cause for all my problems—my husband lost his regular job and started abusing me. But I could not talk about this to anyone," says Anand. Finally, she approached Saheli and since then has been under regular medical care. While Anand was courageous in facing her problems and seeking treatment for depression, the NAWHO study indicates that Asian Americans have the lowest utilisation for mental health services. This community is more likely than other racial groups to have individuals with psychotic diagnoses in inpatient and outpatient services. Though many experience psychosomatic symptoms of stress and depression such as hypertension, ulcers, headaches, backaches, insomnia and digestive problems, they seek only primary health care. Most Asian Americans are extremely concerned about confidentiality and are ashamed and afraid of asking for help from outside services, claims the report. Dr Karim adds: Each family has a choice, to hide the symptoms, shame the family member and watch his/her symptoms worsen or seek treatment which will improve life dramatically." According to Saheli and Manasi, another NGO in New Jersey, the Empowering Avenues programmes will eventually increase Asian American women’s access to competent mental health prevention and treatment services. (The names of some women have been changed to protect their identity.) WFS |
TWO
of the Hindus' most holy cities, Ujjain and Allahabad (Prayag), last
month witnessed what orthodox Hindu clerics would consider a sacrilege—women
performing the last rites at a Hindu funeral.
