The Tribune, Chandigarh, India

Wednesday, June 11, 2003, Chandigarh, India

THE TRIBUNE SPECIALS

50 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE

TERCENTENARY CELEBRATIONS

M A I N N E W S

Now Hisar girl does a Nisha
Ruchika M. Khanna
Tribune News Service

Panchkula, June 10
The Sindoor in her hair has not been washed away as yet. But her steely gaze, acquired when she refused to succumb to social pressure and marry with a handsome dowry, speaks volumes about this self-respecting potrait of womanhood.

Nineteen-year-old Shweta Bansal, who hails from a traditional Baniya family in a non- descript town near Hisar, refused to be treated as a commodity by her prospective in- laws. She broke off her engagement to the son of a Haryana government official on the night of June 8 here, when her in- laws demanded Rs. 8 lakh in cash, besides other gifts as dowry.

Though brought up with the traditional mores of most semi-urban homes, where the woman’s world is confined to the four walls of her home, the girl could not take the “insult.” In a fit of rage, she walked upto her fiance and threw away the shagun and gold ornaments presented by the boy’s family.

“I realised that he could not stand up for me. His family was ridiculing my parents, grandfather and brothers, calling us paupers and commenting on my looks, while he stood a mere spectator. He even had the cheek to walk up to me and ask me to coerce my family to agree to the dowry demand. I decided that a woman had to respect herself, only then could she command respect in society, “ says this BA Final Year student, who has never heard of women’s emancipation and feminism. Nor has she heard of Noida girl, Nisha, who had created waves by turning her prospective husband to the police when the boy’s family raised their dowry demands.

Talking to TNS , she said she had always been taught to obey her elders and till date had let elder family members decide her life’s course. “ I want to study, but girls in our family are destined to have only a basic education and are married off at an early age. I was okay with the marriage and like any other girl my age had begun weaving my own dreams. But what happened on the night of June 8, shook me out of my reverie, and I decided to stand up for myself and my family’s honour,” she said.

Narrating the sequence of events, her brother, Mukesh Bansal, said that the marriage proposal had been accepted by their grandfather and no one questioned his choice. “ We had an informal meeting at my elder brother’s house in Mani Majra on June 8 and the proposal was accepted by both sides. They then asked us to arrange for the maang bharna ceremony the same evening. However, they (the prospective groom’s family) began throwing tantrums right after the maang bharna (where the prospective in-laws put sindoor in the girl’s hair for formally accepting the marriage proposal). After the ceremony was complete, they put forth the demand before my grandfather.”

But it was only after Shweta threw away their gifts and refused to get married that her family decided to call off the engagement. A formal complaint was made to the district police chief, Mr. Ranbir S. Sharma yesterday, but the two sides decided not to go ahead with the FIR , though the engagement has now officially been called off.