HER WORLD Sunday, April 13, 2003, Chandigarh, India
  Social monitor
Burden the child and bend nature’s way
Inderdeep Thapar

THE children in India are not a blessed lot. As I looked at my seven-year-old daughter diligently completing piles of her schoolwork, my mind flew to my happy childhood. Studies never robbed one’s childhood or curtailed one’s extra-curricular activities. It never made one so tired that one had scarcely any time for relaxed reading. A wave of guilt swept over me because I held myself and my counterparts responsible for this pressure that had made the child grow up much before her years. While wondering about this problem, numerous questions surfaced. By talking to a few psychologists, I tried to get to the root of the problem.

Courage & conviction
A tireless crusader
AS a young girl of barely twenty years in 1946, Kunti Paul set out to do social service and remained committed to the AIWC as member of the standing committee for nearly 40 years. That however did not deter her from lending her expertise and enthusiasm to other prominent associations at the time, says Rashmi Talwar.


Kunti Paul

Kunti Paul

Crossing boundaries
Remembering Anne Marie Schimmel
Anees Jung

F
OR Anne Marie Schimmel it was not the red of Islam that mattered but the green, the colour of peace and compassion, the colour that evokes sanctity, the language of poetry. To this frail, sweet-faced German woman the connection with Islam was a life-long passion, as deep as her own roots in a Lutheran faith. 

Violence against women
Bharat Dogra
A
recent well documented report on the impact of violence on public health has confirmed that women suffer the most from high levels of violence in the present day world. This report titled ‘World Report on Violence and Health’ (WRVH) has been prepared by the World Health Organisation (WHO).


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Social monitor
Burden the child and bend nature’s way
Inderdeep Thapar

We should guide our children but not rule over them
We should guide our children but not rule over them

One little budding flower,

Beautiful and fragile,

Petals soft and tremulous,

Suddenly trembles,

In the buffeting, strong winds,

Too much water,

Too much manure,

Too quickly they want it to grow,

And it does grow

But somewhere along the sudden spurt,

It lost itself, softness, colour all

It did not feel the caress of the breeze,

Or hear the humming of the breeze,

Somebody weathered before time,

Ah! Who’s to blame?

Who’s to blame?

THE children in India are not a blessed lot. As I looked at my seven-year-old daughter diligently completing piles of her schoolwork, my mind flew to my happy childhood. Studies never robbed one’s childhood or curtailed one’s extra-curricular activities. It never made one so tired that one had scarcely any time for relaxed reading. A wave of guilt swept over me because I held myself and my counterparts responsible for this pressure that had made the child grow up much before her years. While wondering about this problem, numerous questions surfaced. By talking to a few psychologists, I tried to get to the root of the problem.

The first and foremost question that emerges is that does one need to burden the child so much with learning at such a young age? Is the system encouraging independent questioning or is it merely making the children minehouses of information without giving them space as well as time to harness, apply and, as one says, "process" that information.

Muktesh
Muktesh

Muktesh, an eminent psychologist based in Melbourne comments, "The Indian system is based on learning by rote. Constant memorising puts relentless pressure on the child. The examination is more a test of child’s memory rather than an understanding of the concept. In western countries, there are no exams till grade nine or ten and the child is merely imbibing the concepts and that too at a reasonable pace." I had seen keen and enthusiastic five-year-olds with their notebooks at Madam Tussauds on a visit to London. They were being encouraged to write whatever they saw, whether they could spell or not. Observation and expression became more important and the child had fun too. Compare this weekend excursion with a similar excursion in an Indian school and contrast what they wrote with the stereotyped essays that are fed into the little one’s brain.

Another thing that needs to be explored is how is the Indian child being assessed. The worrisome answer is that the evaluation is purely on an academic basis. The personality of the child is not the criteria, his marks are. Is the child intelligent only because of his marks and is he, in other words, marks only? The hard truth is that the Indian child suffers from low self-esteem. Before they are adolescents, they have already been slotted as average or below average, thereby already limiting their potential. Everyone knows that each child is excellent in some things, good in others and average in the rest. The positive points should be stressed and the average ones can be ignored thereby bringing out the best in the child. "It’s the teacher who is under stress abroad," says Muktesh, adding "as she handles the difficult task of assessing each child in each and every aspect. "

What needs a lot of introspection is the attitude of the parents. The Indian parent is ambitious, insensitive, ruthless and believes in thrusting his competitiveness on to his young child. None else but the parents depotentiate or positively help in the development of the child.

Parents, driven by an unnaturally high degree of expectation, have been accused of creating behavioural problems among the children. "My child has come third in her class " spoke one mother to me, " but the problem is that there are three children on the third position and the same goes for first and second rank ". " What should one do? The competition is so much, " said another parent, adding, "It is much better that they get used to it right now rather than in grade ten".

Poonam Tangri
Poonam Tangri

Poonam Tangri, a specialist in psychology and guidance and counselling explains, "The first responsibility of the parents is to see, perceive and penetrate the being of the child in order to see where his energy is moving and which direction it is taking. We should guide our children but not rule over them or we will ruin them. They have to recognise the individual talent, interest and the skill that each child is displaying. I don’t think that we should put pressure on the child to live up to the other expectations".

The surprising part is that despite the fact that the stress level is rising amongst the children in India, stress-release valves are missing. There is not much focus on counsellors. The taboo on counselling needs to disappear because not only children but even parents need therapeutic sessions from time to time. Very few schools have made a provision for counsellors. The suicide rate amongst adolescents has increased but society is ignorant about the value of these services and how they can be used to defuse stress. Pressure by society, parents and on the career front are enough to bog down any individual. An adolescent is especially vulnerable because he/she is stepping fresh into life and is ill-equipped to handle such pressure. The stigma attached to counselling has clogged the vent that would have enabled the spewing out of the lava.

The coming of the single-child family and the disappearance of the joint family has further added to the problems as the traditional props have been removed and the child is left to the mercy of the demands of the parents and his own confused priorities.

"In western countries, it is the job of the teacher to see whether a child is under stress," explains Muktesh. "The child is referred to the school counsellor where he speaks about his problem. The parents are called and all three are made to sit together. The idea is to eradicate stress by discussing it, making the parents aware about it and at the same time making the child aware about the wishes of the parents without letting the situation become alarming. If the counsellor feels that some specialised effort is required, he can refer them further to specialists and the counselling will go on till the fear of board examination comes down perceptibly."

Spiritual introspection is the forte of the Indian philosophical system but what about social issues? Fresh inquiry and a change in perception is required. Change and voluntarily accepted change for the betterment of society is the hallmark of breathing and intelligent civilisation. The most precious product of a culture, the child needs careful nurturing, empathy, and understanding.
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Courage & conviction
A tireless crusader

As a young girl of barely twenty years in 1946, Kunti Paul set out to do social service and remained committed to the AIWC as member of the standing committee for nearly 40 years. That however did not deter her from lending her expertise and enthusiasm to other prominent associations at the time, says Rashmi Talwar 

KUNTI Paul begged, cajoled, persuaded and performed an almost impossible task — that of convincing women (young and old to part with their jewellery and money.

As an exemplary gesture, Kunti first donated the gold bangles which her father had lovingly given her at the time of her marriage. She helped to collect gold and money equal to the weight of Jawaharlal Nehru who made a fervent appeal after the 1962 Chinese aggression, to help tide over the financial emergency. Since the rupee did not find many takers in the international markets at that time, gold was valued in exchange in order to help buy weapons and stabilise economy of a newly independent nation. At the forefront of the freedom movement, Kunti had laboured before the country faced gruelling events of Partition.

"It wasn’t an easy task," she recalls, But it meant "freedom" call the word a magic potion or adrenaline that sustained the very existence of Indians at the time. Nehru had selected her for the daunting task, as she had proved her dedication and worth as the national president of the All India Women’s Conference (AIWC), a national body for women’s empowerment since pre-Partition years.

Thereafter, she went on to represent the country at the United Nations and spoke passionately on the plight of Indian women. Kunti has specifically focused on a woman’s predicament after her circumstantial or deliberate abandonment and her subsequent rehabilitation. She elucidated her viewpoint on the law and legal system to ensure shelter to women in cases of divorce settlements, widowhood, maltreatment and that of physical and mental abuse. Frail in health at the age of 77, as she presided over the local unit of AIWC’s annual function recently and surveyed its progress, she has lost none of her formidable spirit. She insists on walking without the support of a walking stick.

Not untouched by tragedy, Kunti had lost both her sons. While one of them had died in 1990, after fighting a prolonged battle with cancer, the other one Narbhir Paul an MLA in UP was killed by assassins in 2000. She immersed herself with the work of women’s uplift and empowerment and went on to complete her Masters in history at 60.

The AIWC has nearly 500 branches all over India, many of them were established with her help in north India. As a young girl of barely twenty years in 1946, she set out to do social service and remained committed to the AIWC as member of the standing committee for nearly 40 years. That however did not deter her from lending her expertise and enthusiasm to other prominent associations at the time.

She was a member of the habitat and environment quarter of a century since 1976. Having spoken at national and international seminars, she wrote several papers on environment and women’s problems. She remained an executive member of the Red Cross society, child welfare, blood bank society, cancer society, citizen’s peace committee. Having travelled all over major countries of the world she says: "Women’s problems remain the same throughout the world." A member of the Punjab State Family Planning Board, the small savings scheme board, state social welfare advisory board Kunti guided the activities of grameen mahila sangh in villages. She helped to collect funds and amenities for defence forces during both the Pak aggressions and also helped in military hospital and organising women’s defence councils then the most threatening problem faced by India is "population explosion" and we should borrow the blue-print of family planning programme from China, with some valid modifications, to take a strong steps to stem the burgeoning population, she contends.

However, amazingly, her only dream which still remains to be fulfilled is to do her doctorate (Ph.D) in history.
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Crossing boundaries
Remembering Anne Marie Schimmel
Anees Jung

FOR Anne Marie Schimmel it was not the red of Islam that mattered but the green, the colour of peace and compassion, the colour that evokes sanctity, the language of poetry. To this frail, sweet-faced German woman the connection with Islam was a life-long passion, as deep as her own roots in a Lutheran faith. The rituals of lighting candles and singing in the church choir were as dear to her as bowing in prayer at the Sufi shrines in India, Pakistan, Turkey and Afghanistan where she travelled regularly on her kind of pilgrimage. Sitting in Bonn, she dreamed of Bijapur and Bidar, talked of her friend Allan Fakir in Sindh and brooded over the problem of selecting a site for her burial in a graveyard in Sindh, as she was a woman. Today Anne Marie Schimmel perhaps lies in the earth beside her male Sufi mentors. This deeply mystic woman, the world's most renowned scholar on Sufism passed away in Germany recently. As gently as she had lived.

"When you are in Bonn come to my fakir khana," she said when I greeted her after a luminous lecture she delivered in Delhi a few years ago. I asked her if I could have a copy of it. "It is not written," she smiled. I had presumed it was as her eyes were focused on the wooden desk where I thought she had put the printed sheets. The focus I realised was not on a paper but deep inside herself.

What she was saying was drawn straight from her heart. As she traced the story of Islam one sensed its early beginnings, like a stream first, then a river gathering the force of a torrent and merging finally into an ocean. "We owe to the early Arabs some of the basic concepts we

know today," she said. "The Arabic numbers, names like Zenith and nadir, the stars that shine in heaven, words like alchemy that evokes a magic and alcohol that is the finest of essence." From her laser-like memory poured out stories of saints and scientists and Sufis who were deeply affected by Islam. Listening to her I felt not only informed but holy. The sacred month

of Ramzan found a true meaning. She talked about Ramon Lull, the Catalan who in his missionary novel tried to forge an understanding between the three great faiths of his time—Judaism, Christianity and Islam. He wrote 366 sentences of divine love drawn from Arabic mystical sources and hailed the Arab way of starting every work with the word Bismillah, in the name of God.

It was in Spain again where lived Ibn Arabi, the great philosopher who introduced the term 'unity of being'. He was condemned by some as a pantheist but welcomed by others among them the Sufis of Kashmir who combined his philosophy with their own tantra. She talked about Dara Shikoh who translated the Upanishads in Persian from Sanskrit with the help of a group of pandits. Had this great humanist lived the history of India would have been different she stated.

Watching the enormous influence of Sufism around the world Schimmel was heartened. Also amused to see advertisements for Sufi dancing classes on US campuses. "Little do they know that the classical Sufis were against dancing," she added with a laugh. "In culture the rules of traffic have changed. The givers and the takers have to be open to the best in each other for no civilisation today can afford to close its doors."

When I visited her home on a shady street in Bonn it was far from the fakir khana that she had humbly described. It was a home of treasures. Old carpets and embroideries informed one of the lands she had travelled, where crafts and Sufism flourished hand in hand; books lined on shelves, spilled over tables and chairs, each of which she had known and read. "Today is a mubarak day," she said. It was on October 20 of l937 when she first decided to learn Arabic.

Why Islam I asked her. Sipping a pale sherry, "necessary to reach the state of ilhaam" she smiled and said: "I would not have perhaps turned to it if I did not have an inner calling." Both her parents were deeply religious.

There was something in the very air of the place where she grew up that worked on her inner yearning and helped give expression. She grew up in Arfut, a medieval town in East Germany, the home of Martin Luther, in a landscape as much enriched by gothic cathedrals as by gardens full of roses and dahlias. On the birthday of Martin Luther thousands of children including Anne Marie would march up to the place with lanterns that they had made themselves where Luther had taken a vow to become a monk. They would sing church hymns and come back home and receive marzipan sweets. Those echoes remained with her throughout her life. Going to church at times and enjoying the beauty of ritual and music did not make her more Christian just

as talking about the compassion of Islam did not make her sympathetic to fundamentalists. One could best understand her belief from the verse of an Indian poet whom she quoted. The parwana or the moth circles around the flame of the candle under it burns itself out, not caring whether the candle is of the Kaaba or the temple. She saw God everywhere.

In her book Deciphering Signs of God she quotes an ayat from the Koran which explains that God shows His signs in the horizon and in ourselves. "Each one must look around and try to find that sign. You may see a tree in bloom or see something terrible. That too is God's majesty, his jalal. He is not only beautiful but also powerful, visible in everything if you have the eyes to see." Schimmel's vision was expansive, embracing in its grasp the freedom of being that includes the right to free thought and speech. These can not be isolated and fought for with aggression or violence which she felt were antithetical to the spirit of Islam. The militancy of fundamentalists was a

political but not a spiritual phenomenon. Schimmel was as distant from their kind of Islam as is the arch of heaven is from the turmoil of this scarred earth. For a seeker like her God was everywhere.

"Have you heard the story of Rabia, the sufi saint of Baghdad who carried in one hand a torch and in the other a pitcher?" she asked me, braving the spring rain on her last visit to Delhi. I was escorting her to the shrine of Fatima Saam, India's only female saint. Removing her shoes at the tiny iron gate she walked barefoot and stood by the painted green grave, her hands cupped in a gesture of prayer. As she recited the fateha I sensed that her accent was purer than mine. Perhaps also her faith`85.
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Violence against women
Bharat Dogra

A recent well documented report on the impact of violence on public health has confirmed that women suffer the most from high levels of violence in the present day world. This report titled ‘World Report on Violence and Health’ (WRVH) has been prepared by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

Perhaps the worst aspect of this violence is the extent to which women become the victims of violent acts by their own husbands or ‘intimate partners’.

In 48 population based surveys from around the world, between 10 per cent and 69 per cent of women reported being physically assaulted by an intimate male partner as some point in their lives. For many of these women, physical assault was not an isolated event, but part of a continuing pattern of abusive behaviour.

In a national survey of violence against women in Canada, one-third of all women who had been physically assaulted by a partner said that they had feared for their lives at some point in the relationship. Violence can sometimes continue and may even escalate after a woman leaves her partner. Studies from Australia, Canada, Israel, South Africa and the USA say that 40 to 70 per cent of female murder victims were killed by their husbands or boyfriends, frequently in the context of an ongoing abusive relationship.

Studies have shown that about 20 to 70 per cent of abused women never told another person about the abuse until they were interviewed for the study. Violence also occurs during pregnancy, adversely affecting not only the woman but also the developing fetus. Studies in Canada, Chile, Egypt and Nicaragua have found that 6 to 15 per cent of ever-partnered women have been physically or sexually abused during pregnancy, usually by their partners. A recent study among 400 villages and seven hospitals in Pune found that 16 per cent of all deaths during pregnancy were the result of partner violence.

In Canada, 43 per cent of women who were physically abused by a partner received medical care and 50 per cent had to take time off from work. Several studies link a host of ailments (physical and mental) among women with physical or sexual abuse. Women abused by partners face an increased risk of suicide or suicide attempts.

In the state of Uttar Pradesh (India), the percentage of men who admitted to beating their wives varied from 18 per cent in Nanital district to 45 per cent in Banda district. The proportion that physically forced their wives to have sex varied from 14 per cent to 36 per cent among the districts.

In a recent study in rural Uganda, women who reported being forced to have sex against their will in the previous year had an eightfold increased risk of becoming infected with HIV. Between 21 to 25 per cent of women reported having been the victim of either an attempted or completed rape by a partner in their lifetime in studies at five places (in parts of England, Mexico, Nicaragua, Peru and Zimbabwe).

A lot of women victims of rape face double injustice as they are also punished for bringing disgrace to their families/clans. A study of female deaths by murder in Alexandria, Egypt, found that 47 per cent of the women were killed by a relative after they had been raped.

Nearly half of the sexually active adolescent women in a multi-country study in the Caribbean reported that their first sexual intercourse was forced. In Lima, Peru, 40 per cent of young women reported forced sexual initiation.

Each year, hundreds of thousands of women and girls throughout the world are bought and sold into prostitution or sexual slavery. Many are tortured. Sex workers face a high risk of physical and sexual violence. A survey of sex workers in Bangladesh revealed that 49 per cent had been raped and 59 per cent beaten by the police in the previous year. A report prepared by the World Organisation against Torture suggested that over 200,000 Bangladeshi women had been trafficked between 1990 and 1997.

Reports of rapes during violent conflicts in recent decades have been documented from Bosnia, Bangladesh, Liberia, Rwanda, Uganda and elsewhere. Estimates of the number of women raped in Bosnia and Herzegovina during the conflict between 1992 and 1995 range from 10,000 to 60,000.

According to WRVH, the available evidence shows that victims of domestic and sexual violence have more health problems, significantly higher health care costs and more frequent visits to emergency departments throughout their lives than those without a history of abuse.
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