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| Saturday, March 15, 2003 |
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It is the ability of the Punjabi to combat any kind of situation, whether militancy or indifferent cricket, that makes for a wonderful sense of humour, says Roopinder Singh. WHO says Punjabis don’t have a sense of humour? In fact, they have such a sense of humour that they get beaten up for it. Recently, a couple of humorists took a dig at the "Maharaja" and faced the wrath of his "courtiers" for it. Contrast this to the attitude of Maharaja Ranjit Singh. Legend has it that he had some marassis in his court who were challenged to call the Maharaja one-eyed. "Ikko akh sulakhani, jehri jag nu tare/ Jhuk jhuk karan salama, do akhan wale," they said. ("One eye alone is so good, that it is the saviour of the world; even the ones with two eyes bow low to it"). And what did the Maharaja do? Gave them a reward! No function is complete unless there are some
humorists on stage. Much as the public admires their humour, there are
always some who don’t have a single funny bone in their body and
sociologists for wider implications are examining the fact that both
body and bureaucrat start with a "b". |
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In the 80s it was often pontificated at social gatherings in Delhi that the biggest casualty of militancy was perhaps the wonderful ability of the Punjabis to laugh at themselves. May be Punjabis would never recover from this trauma, it was said over Patiala pegs of Scotch in plush drawing rooms on Amrita Shergil Marg as people talked of days gone by and bemoaned the loss of this trait. How could something that has survived centuries of invasions, starvations, pain, deprivation and generally hostile environment die so soon, one wondered? It never did. At the height of militancy too there was always an undercurrent of humour, even if it was of the gallows variety and conjured up images of babas and their followers. It was said that the police in Patti and Tarn Taran checked each bus. Cops would board a bus and ask if there were any militants. When an ordinary passenger replied "No", they would pronounce the bus "clear." Then there is this one about two "boys" on a motor cycle who were stopped at a police checkpoint. "Do you have a permit to have a pillion rider on the bike," asked the personnel on duty. "Yes," said the "boys," and showed an AK-47 from under the blanket. "OK. Go," waved the guards. A few minutes later, another bike came with two riders and was asked the same question. "Didn’t the boys show it to you," they asked. "Oh! You can go, too," pat came the reply. Punjab Police Policemen seem always to be at the wrong end of jokes, perhaps because they constitute the most visible arm of state machinery. There is this one about a police officer who came back with a beautiful and huge trophy from an international conference. "What have you got the trophy for," he was asked. "Well, we were discussing the efficiency of the police forces in solving crimes. The American FBI said they could fish out important clues about a crime within 30 minutes. The Canadians said they could do so in 20. "What are you talking about," I said, "The Punjab Police knows who is going to commit a crime even before it is committed." This is an old one, but here goes: What is the difference between votes and juttis? "Votes are counted, juttis are not. Sometimes votes are cancelled, juttis are not. Khushwant Singh Now that we have entered the new millennium, popular humour in Punjab has taken a different garb and manages to say much more, much more cogently, and tellingly than any social/ political analyst could in many, many articles or books.
One person went to a goldsmith to ask him who he gave the best gold to. "Well, the Jats, of course," said the goldsmith. "Come on, everyone wants to take the Jats for a ride, but you would have me believe that you don’t?" "Let me tell you why. We give the best gold to the Jats and not others because they always spend more than they can, especially on weddings and all. So much so that they eventually put up the gold ornaments in the hock and they come back to us, which we take back with a simulated show of reluctance. As for the others, the Mahajans, they will hold on to such things indefinitely. Once we have sold something to them, it never comes back." Then there is a series of questions that often blares at you from cars parked at various places: What is it that has the highest production in India? Indians. What do Indians think of during their leisure time? Their ancestors. What their grandfathers, great-grandfathers, great-great-grandfathers did. And what do Westerners think of during their leisure time? Who their father is. Khushwant Singh is one of the most famous Punjabis for jokes, but they are contributions of hundreds of persons who send him humorous anecdotes. He publishes the ones that he likes and eventually they become part of his books that are sold at all various stores, especially at railway stations. To no small measure, Punjabi jokes owe their national and international popularity to him and his columns. On television, there is no doubt that it is Jaspal Bhatti who brought Punjabi humour on the national scene. Of course, the current wave is dominated by many artists who have been churning out audio cassettes, and giving many television performances. They include Bhagwant Mann, Gurpreet Ghuggi, Chacha Raunki Ram and Potu Shah.Of course, then there is the Jaswinder Bhalla and Bal Mukand Sharma duo which was at the centre of the Patiala controversy. Teacher trouble Teachers and the taught have a rather different kind of relationship in rural schools, which is often the focus of such humour: "You know, my nephew is studying in Class VII in a government school," begins a person, but his friend interrupts him. "You mean that he goes to a government school. How many times have I told you that government schools are not for students or studies, they are buildings made so that the male teachers can play cards and lady teachers improve their knitting skills." Heard the one about an ox that was turning the Persian wheel and getting water out of a well. A teacher happened to meet a farmer who was also standing there. "Why have you covered the bull’s eyes and hung a bell around his neck," asked the teacher. "If you cover the eyes, the bull thinks that it is going places, whereas he is just going round and round. And even when I am far away, the bell tinkles and I know that the bull is doing his job," the farmer replied. "What if the bull halts, and just shakes its neck to make the bell ring," asked the teacher. "Well, he is a bull, not a teacher," the farmer retorted. There was a student who was regularly beaten up for non-performance in school, till he told his teachers that his ambition in life was to get recruited in the police so that he could become a constable. "Why," asked the teacher. "So that I can get a posting at Matka Chowk in Chandigarh and get my revenge when teachers come there to stage a dharna!" PPSC Contemporary events, as well as matters celestial, there is always something for everyone. The PPSC case has given rise to many jokes. Here’s one that pithily sums up the situation that the former PPSC Chairman is in: "Once there were bundles of notes in his lockers and he had the key; now he is under lock and key".
Did you hear about the drunkard who fell down and felt something
trickling down his leg? "Please God, let it be blood, and not the
rum I was carrying," said he. Any resemblance to the classic
Irish/Scottish joke is entirely coincidental and merely represents the
commonality that makes the drunkards of the world unite. "You have
nothing to lose but your senses," is the motto.
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Here is an interesting one about how various social
classes relate to one another.
EVEN
if Patiala has been in the news recently for lack of humour, the
city is not without merit. Traditionally, Patialvis enjoy a good
laugh, and now Sidhuisms have definitely emerged as a sub-genre—of
what exactly, is something yet to be decided. Some time ago, there
was a scholarly discussion on the subversive, post-colonial
elements that make Sidhuisms, but since Sherry is probably
innocent of such complexities; we can safely leave such
discussions to academicians.