The Tribune, Chandigarh, India

Male viewpoint
Questioning gender norms
Yogesh Snehi

My brother’s birth is announced with the clang of brass,

My own with the sound of broken shards,

The old folks weep, the plough boy laments and even the herdsman cries."

IN everyday life ‘sex role’ generally demarcate the ‘gender roles’. Sex role refers specifically to behaviours determined by an individual’s biological sex, such as menstruation, ejaculation, pregnancy and lactation. Gender roles, on the other hand, are socially created expectations for masculine and feminine behaviour. Exaggerating both real and imagined aspects of biological sex, each society sorts certain polarised behaviours and attitudes into two sets, then labels them "male" and "female".

In most societies, child-rearing is assigned to females and it becomes central to the female gender role, with the result that it is treated as if it were a biological imperative for females. Such societal perceptions of gender are sometimes also constructed through ignorance. One interesting example is the role of producing a male child. Traditionally, it has been the female who was cursed for not delivering a male offspring. Despite large-scale awareness on this matter, truth still eludes social manifestations.

Historically, these gender formulations have defined male attitudes towards women counterparts. Interestingly, these attitudes start manifesting themselves in the perceptions of the youth at an early age. When Anand of the Department of Mass Communication was asked how he perceives women, his reply was based on the traditional stereotypes of men; loving, caring, tolerant, sweet-tempered, God-fearing, sensitive and understanding. When questioned about the opposite traits possessed by men, his reply was that ‘men are like this’.

Gagan, of the Department of Pharmacy expressed a similar view that gender roles are determined by nature and biology. His emphasis was on the chastity of women and her honour. However, he compromised on the chastity of men, regarding it as a social norm.

These segregated norms of gender, which, off and on try to reinvent themselves, in one form, or other, are culturally sustained by the effective patriarchal continuum. The best example of these norms is the practice of ‘bride price’ which existed in colonial Haryana and was later replaced by dowry. Women, in general, by accepting these socialised norms, and men in particular (by imposing these as the family head) are equally responsible for iniquitous nature of gender formulations. When Gagan was asked how would he feel if he is placed in the situation of a woman, he obviously felt uncomfortable and regarded patriarchal norms as a part of cultural values.

Redefinition of gender norms has implications for both men and women. Everyone among respondents was critical about the changing attitudes of today’s women. Clothing was specially contested, Surjit of Laws being an exception. Surjit’s comments on the changing attitudes were contradictory in nature. Though clothing was not an issue for him, his views were highly reflective of dominant male perceptions. He did not want a life partner of equal professional status and believed that whatever may be the case men's decision ‘should’ be final. Most boys were positive about helping their prospective wives as far as household chores were concerned. This was occasional and rare.

With female foeticide rampant in Punjab and Haryana, little can be visualised about the future role of women. However, there are some very inspiring findings in the report of Census 2001. Haryana has seen a dramatic rise in number of working women in the past one decade. According to this report there 27.3 per cent of women working in Haryana as against 10.7 per cent in 1991. While economic security of women is giving them decision-making power, this is in no way changing the attitudes of men. Deepak of the Department of Physical Education believes that even if both men and women are working women follow men. None of the boys interviewed wanted women to be dominant.

An interesting aspect of all this was boys’ perception of their life partners (sex partner in particular). The opinion was divided on this topic. While Korak of Department of Physics and Ambuj of the Department of Philosophy believed sex to be an activity of mutual consent and that women should not submissive, Anand and Surjit believed that women should be submissive and understand the ‘male urge’. Opinion was divided on the issue of ‘empowerment’. Most of the boys felt that women should be educated and become economically stable. However, Gagan was of the opinion that women’s work outside the household would lead to an increase in the levels of general unemployment. Surjit held the empowerment responsible for the mounting social problems (especially divorce).

There is no doubt about the fact that education is redefining the gender roles. The boys living in the hostels generally know how to cook. Ambuj believed in an active interaction between life partners and emphasised on shared responsibilities. Psychoanalysis of the interviewed boys tells us that they lean more upon women for emotional support. Korak seeks a life partner who is emotionally supportive, while Ambuj seeks one who is talkative. It was also clear that men were expecting their life partners to be a model of what they have never been; not over-emotional, religious, not dominant, not sentimental etc.

This whole debate of changing gender roles has indeed made things more complex. There has been a sharp increase in the violence meted out to women. Recent statistics given by the Institute of Development and Communication (IDC) shows a manifold increase in the cases of wife bashing, dowry, eve teasing, rape and molestation. When the dress code of girls was put to debate among boys, they unanimously declared that it was responsible for increasing violence against them. Such ideas reflect upon the foundations on which youth base their future attitudes.

The issues discussed above are very complex and the socio-cultural norms that define, gender roles explosive in nature. This whole debate of redefinition of gender roles will not be of much help unless men are actively involved and a serious step towards sensitisation of gender issues is taken up. A more productive mechanism, which involves both men and women, for the purpose of questioning gender norms and sensitising boys and girls, will have to be evolved.