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| HER WORLD | Sunday, March 24, 2002, Chandigarh, India |
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You can never be too thin ... but you can have an eating disorder
Women need to save more Readers response
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You can never be too thin ... but you can
have an eating disorder Wanting to stun my husband on our seventh wedding
anniversary with something bold `n' different, I walked into one of
swank outlets selling strappy western wear. I had to settle for
something very different from what I had planned, as they didn't have
my size. "We only keep size extra small (XS), small (S) and a few
medium (M) and nothing bigger than that as they never get sold,"
I was told. Thankfully, I had the sense of humour to take it in my
stride and laugh at my growing waistline. This, however, brings us to
a startling revelation. Are we inching towards being a society where
only the XS and S can aspire to wear fashionable, trendy clothes while
the rest of us, who aren't gifted with micro-small waists, should
hide? At my age I may not take it as a personal affront but there are
thousands of teenagers for whom this may mean a loss of image, ego and
self-esteem. A look at young girls outside any college in any of the
metros would prove that the twiggy, Ally McBeal look is the way to be.
Low-waisted jeans, figure-hugging tops, spaghetti strap dresses are
what every girl wants to be seen in. Shops selling these strappy
non-existent dresses are everywhere, be it on Jan Path, Linking road
or Fashion Street. You have to be thin, very thin to be able to get
inside these dresses and look good. There are some who are lucky to
be born thin. What about the rest? Dr Dhavale, Head of the Psychiatry
Department, Nair Hospital, Mumbai says, "Recently we conducted a
survey among 450 students in five Mumbai colleges. The results were
alarming to say the least. A large number of them displayed abnormal
eating patterns, the first and early signs of anorexia and
bulimia." The survey brought to fore the following 13.5
per cent of the respondents exhibited abnormal eating attitudes and
depression This figure is similar to that of western countries like
the US and lower than the 7 per cent recorded in Asian countries like
Korea and Hong Kong Depression among teenagers is on the rise and so
is substance abuse (smoking and drinking) The most favourite topic of
conversation for most college girls is how much weight they have lost
or put on and how one of their friends lives only on fruits till
dinnertime. The best compliment for them is "you have lost
weight and you're looking thinner." This get-thin and
be-in-shape fad is finding its worst victims among the adolescents who
aren't aware of the pitfalls of eating disorders. Originating from
obsessive consciousness to be thin and look thin, youngsters starve
their body of requisite food for proper growth. "This is
extremely harmful as the victims are those in their teens, in the
growing years. They need proper nutrition for complete growth.
Excessive starvation could lead to hormonal & chemical imbalance,
thyroid problems, gradual degradation of body system leading to brain
damage and finally death." Physicians and psychiatrists,
practicing in Mumbai, reveal how they are getting more and more cases
of worried parents of daughters who just don't want to eat. Dr Dhavale
says, "The first signs are when the person just doesn't want to
eat and looks very thin. If her parents force her to eat, she complies
but then either vomits it or takes laxatives to purge. Another sign is
when the person loses weight but looks very happy. Often girls try to
fool their parents by stuffing their pockets with stones to weigh more
on the scale." She further adds that this is a psychological
problem and needs counselling alongwith medicines. "But most
parents don't come to a psychiatrist because of the stigma attached to
it." The usual route for most is first a gynecologist (as the
first symptom is of irregular menstrual cycle), then a physician who
recommends an endocrinologist and finally a psychiatrist. Dr Shaukat
Sadikote, Mumbai-based endocrinologist recently measured the body mass
of students of a high-profile city college and found that 40 per cent
the girls were malnourished by WHO standards. When girls from
well-to-do families are malnourished, it clearly shows signs of forced
starvation and excessive dieting, in medical terms anorexia. Dr
Sadikote adds that the number of cases of eating disorders is on the
rise but he suspects many more to be hidden. And the main victims are
ones in the age group of 14 years to 19 years. So what is it that's
ushering this terrible malady into our society? "Dr Dhavale says,
"This is bound to happen. We are gripped by the look thin mania.
Girls from families, where excessive dieting and exercise are
prevalent, are easy preys. Mothers want to look better and be called
sisters of their daughters and the latter don't like it. This leads to
more depression and anxiety." Dr Sadikote blames the media for
the hype and importance it gives to physical appearance. "Ten
years ago we liked cinema heroines nice and plump but now the twiggy
look is in. Everyone wants to be beanstalk thin. Skinny actresses and
VJs are the style icons. Girls aspire to be like them at any
cost." Even the dolls girls grow up playing with (Barbie) are
thin and have hourglass figures. So it's not surprising that most want
to be a Barbie look-alike. The silver lining to the dark cloud is
that we are still far away from the danger mark. But it may not be
long before we reach a point of no return. Drastic steps ought to be
taken to ensure that doesn't happen. Awareness among parents and
teenaged girls should be spread about the impending disasters of
eating disorders. We have the Western countries with numerous cases to
show us how bad it can be. As Dr Sadikote rightly says, "Before
tackling the disease we should modify the media and the message it
sends out to young impressionable minds." Popular actresses and
VJs should speak about the importance of proper diet on TV, rather
than only talking about current fashion styles. Is anybody listening? |
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Women need to save more Saving comes naturally to women because of their
instinct to secure their future. Yet very few women, working or
otherwise, manage to save enough to carry them through their twilight
years. This, despite that most educated women are working and
contributing substantially to the household income. In the later part
of their life, they experience a steady fall in their standard of
living or become dependent on their children. On an average a woman
has a longer life span than men. Therefore, for married women the
chances of being left alone to face the difficult period of life are
greater than that for men. Even a single woman will be left with fewer
relatives and friends in her later life. Women, especially in India,
are hardly masters of their own pay cheques. Money management is
generally left to the men. The result is that most of them do not even
know whether they are well provided for their twilight years. They may
even be too embarrassed to pop this question to their men. Many even
do not wish to think that a calamity could strike them in their life
time leaving them in the lurch suddenly. But wishful thinking is
hardly a practical proposition in the face of reality or those living
in joint families or for women whose husbands have family
responsibilities to discharge (that is parents, brothers or sisters),
the chances of their savings being gobbled up by the needs of their
spouses’ siblings is a real possibility. Most savings women have
made in their early years are consumed by children’s education and
marriages. When middle aged women from the middle or low income groups
begin to realise that they are approaching a retired life, they find
their coffers empty. Studies conducted by banks have shown that most
of the men invest in long-term investments, while women’s money lies
in short-term savings which do not add up to a substantial sum later
in life. Since women’s savings are easier to withdraw, the needs of
earlier years eat up their savings, leaving them dependent on the
man. To make the future financially secure women must begin their
investments as early in life as possible. Many keep spending on good
things in life when they are young, healthy and working. There is so
much to buy and enjoy. With TV channels persuading you to buy newer
models round the clock, it is hard to resist. A stage comes when we
find we do not have the money to maintain the goods we acquired years
ago or we simply have no use for them at that stage of life. So, the
trick lies in being an early beginner. Working women must also
realise that two pay cheques mean a higher standard of living. But
this is only true till both the partners are there to maintain it.
What happens if the husband suddenly dies? There is a sudden and
substantial fall in income. The blow of the death of a loved one is
hard enough. But the fall in living standard makes it still harder to
bear. While no amount of savings can bring the dead one back, it at
least makes it easier for the family to bear the shock. And for us
Indians, it may even help the dead one’s soul lie in peace knowing
that the family has enough to fall back upon. The increasing rate of
divorce and separation in India is alarming enough. But it is also a
constant reminder to women that they must have a financial base of
their own just in case. A woman who begins to save early may have
enough funds to start life afresh if need be. Alimony rates in India
are hardly enough to allow a separated partner to live on that alone.
Most women think divorce or widowhood is something that happens to
others. But they need to realise that ‘others’ could easily be any
of them. Financial independence is the basis of all other kinds of
independence. While this applies to both men and women, women tend to
overlook this. Now is the age to think positive. The cosy feeling that
she has enough cushion to face any eventuality in later in life can
actually make her discharge her wifely and family duties better than
the lurking fear of what she will do should anything bad happens. This
is not to suggest that joint savings are an anathema. But life is so
complex anything can happen before you realise it could. After all if
the life partners have a good going, savings even if they lie in
separate accounts are theirs only. So the sooner women took
responsibility of saving the better it is. Where to invest savings is
a matter of choice. It is a good idea for women to discuss this with
their spouses or male friends and relatives who have better idea of
the subject. Even seeking advice of experts may not be a bad idea at
all. But a few basics must be kept in mind. Firstly, insurance cover
is a must. Money received after death may not be of any use to the
deceased, but it has immense use for those left to bear the shock of
death. Always prefer long term policies where your premium grows more.
Money back schemes tend to erode the savings made as the money will
invariably be used to buy something or repaying a loan. National Small
Savings schemes are the safest but the problem lies in the chances of
their being spent after the deposits mature. The solution lies in
making wise and mixed investments and it must include landed property.
After all, God isn’t making new earth anymore. There are more and
more people vying to buy it while the land remains the same. This is a
simple matter of diminishing supply and increasing demand. One final
word. Every woman’s savings plan must include a health or Medicare
policy. They need it more than men because of their greater chances of
being left alone in old age. A good health insurance cover can mean
better health care when you may be all alone. |
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Readers response
This refers to the article, "Healing the blisters of domestic violence" by Raman Mohan. (March 3). Violence against women will end only when our socio-cultural attitudes towards her dignity and place in the family undergoes a healthy change. Traditional values and religious beliefs have accepted only a self-sacrificing role from woman . Men, howsoever inferior to women in intellectual and economic pursuits, wield greater power and control. Any threat, genuine or perceived, to male authority is the main cause of violence against women. While with the spread of education and a general awareness of her right to equality, physical violence against women may have been reduced a bit; she continues to suffer acute psychological abuse. VED GULIANI, Hisar II Domestic violence includes physical abuse
and psychological abuse. The major cause behind this, is the lack of
satisfaction from the life. The needs of today’s person are more
than the avenues and the family’s earning. Although the woman of
today has changed a lot, every woman is seeking a niche for herself
but she still is an underprivileged person. Still a good woman is a
traditional housewife, pious, submissive; the modern woman who asserts
herself and her independence is undesirable and can never bring
happiness to anybody. She is fighting a war to find a respectable
place in the society. Our Constitution has given equal right to every
citizen but religious laws are still stronger than the civil laws.
This means we do not have one civil code but we have different
personal laws that is the law of the community in which each person is
born. It is imperative that our girls having high or higher secondary
education should have access to legal education to fight against
injustice. So she must get up and fight for her rights. She should
never let herself get bogged down in self-pity. Ramandeep Kaur,
III For instance, there is no law on marital
violence, which is on the rise in the country. Wife beating is
widespread in Indian society. There is no legislation against it and
it falls under the general category of assault under Sections 323 and
324 of the IPC. It is, therefore, essential to change the law and make
wife-beating a criminal offence and a ground of immediate divorce. At
present, in most of the cases the police are not interested in
registering a case of domestic violence treating it as a domestic
personal affair rather than an offence. Not every judge can be expected
to be free from the cultural values and biases of society. Gender
justice education is necessary as a part of the judicial training
programme. While the higher judiciary has to a large extent been
sensitised to this issue, this cannot be said of investigating
agencies. Research shows that the persecution of wives is widely
prevalent in urban areas because of the break-up of the joint family
set-up. In such families, the bride being an outsider is more
vulnerable as she cannot get the support of other daughters-in-law.
The solution to the problem of marital violence or other similar
problems of women does not end by merely bestowing of judicial rights
or by making women literate. Most urban women today are literate, yet
they exhibit a lack of moral strength. Let the daughter be
assertive and vocal. Let her handle her own problems.
Over-protectiveness will only add to her burdens instead of reducing
them. Every time she complains to you about maltreatment by in-laws,
do not shrug it off. Let her take some action. K.M. Vashisht, Mansa.
IV Both partners must appreciate each other’s
biological needs of ‘sex’ and respond accordingly. Intentional
denial of sex by any of the partners to the other without any valid
reason amounts to inflicting torture. Marriage renders a legitimate
status to sex and provides freedom to partners to enjoy sex. So
‘attempted and forced sexual’ acts within marriage falling under
the Category of ‘Sexual Abuse’ (Domestic violence) appears to me
an ambiguous and irrelevant proposition. The author also mentions
showing of undesirable pictures (pornography as sexual abuse. Does one
not see pornography on internet, TV serials, song and dance sequences
or love scenes in Bollywood and Hollywood films. The writer has
criticised of women’s attitude—the women victims of domestic
violence— of seeking the support of close family and friends alone.
He wants them to lodge a complaint with police, instead. I find this
criticism unfair. In the Indian context no women would like to break
her marriage. I think, the intervention of relatives/family members in
such situations is a positive step in reforming the husbands. Onkar
Chopra,
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