The sweet smell of success
Rajshree Sarda
"IF your mind can conceive it, you can believe it, surely you can achieve it. So keep believing, keep achieving. Give to the world the best you have and the best comes back to you," says entrepreneur Aradhana Verma, who is pragmatic when necessary, feminine when need be. It is amazing how much Aradhana manages to do in life, in the grey areas that are neither home nor work like schooling her son, running after the gas man, or getting the phone repaired.

There are no happy endings
Lalitha Sridhar
ONCE upon a time, in ancient India, there lived women who were not allowed to be liked Shakti, the omnipotent mother goddess everyone worshipped. The scriptures gave them rights which social mores took away. They could listen but not speak, learn only to obey, be free but never choose, and make a home by staying in the shadows.

The sweet smell of success
Rajshree Sarda

"IF your mind can conceive it, you can believe it, surely you can achieve it. So keep believing, keep achieving. Give to the world the best you have and the best comes back to you," says entrepreneur Aradhana Verma, who is pragmatic when necessary, feminine when need be.

It is amazing how much Aradhana manages to do in life, in the grey areas that are neither home nor work like schooling her son, running after the gas man, or getting the phone repaired. She is truly a woman of today, a top - of - the - line business manager of Avon. She manages the home budget, looks after her son, spends on her luxuries, deals with the milkman, dhobi, and friends and yet retains her identity. Aradhana, a postgraduate, is a daughter of a doctor father and a housewife mother. Ever since she was a child, she believed in giving her best in whatever she undertook. She felt a strong need to be autonomous at an early age. Her father recognised this spark and encouraged her to channel her energies productively. She realises the importance of that today. He gave all the opportunities and this really boosted her self-confidence tremendously. After marriage and motherhood, she utilised her spare time in pursuing a six-month computer course and a short entrepreneurship programme at C.E.D.T. Mohali. This was possible because of her late father in law’s constant support and his blessings. She did this while her son went to school so that she did not suffer from any guilt pangs. Her husband has always been the wind beneath her wings and has supported her in all her endeavours and told her that she could achieve it no matter what. This helped in her growth and the kind of success she has achieved today would make anybody envious of her. She is grateful to her husband for this.

The opportunity to join Avon came through a close friend and initially she took it for personal use only. Never did she visualise that she would be where she is today. She was lucky to start early and went about motivating like-minded women who were intelligent, but who did not know how to use their time effectively. She even undertook trips to Shimla, Pathankot, Ludhiana, Jalandhar, and Bathinda to motivate women to join her group.

One step led to another and today she has a downline of 700 beauty advisors (BA) under her and another around 700 under her beauty advisors. She also has 14 ISM’s (Independent Sales Managers) reporting to her.

This is by no means a small achievement. She has been heading the sales in Chandigarh since October 1999 and this year she is the first in the northern region and at number six, as far as all- India sales go. She has now become a proud member of the managing directors’ advisory counsel of Avon. This honour was conferred to her on February 24, 2001 at New Delhi, where she was given the Mrs. Albee Trophy. She also won a trip to Australia for this achievement.

Aradhana says that success is more a matter of perseverance and persistence than talent. Everything depends on the work you do and the hours you put in. Since there is a lot of interdependence in her kind of work, she has to maintain a team spirit with all her beauty advisors. From time to time, she has to keep on motivating them, solve their problems and to be open to their needs. The fact that her husband has been totally supportive of her endeavour has made it easier for her to juggle her home life and work. Even her 8-year-old son understands that his mother is working very hard and not attending kitty parties and is very proud of her.

Working has given Aradhana a sense of direction and added perspective to her life. She says, "If you do nothing, you vegetate and I don’t want to be in that rut at all."

Aradhana gives some tips for getting what you want :Believe in yourself and then go about doing whatever you want to with sincerity.

Always plan and anticipate a demand well in advance so that the functioning is smooth and there is no last-minute chaos.

There are no happy endings
Lalitha Sridhar

ONCE upon a time, in ancient India, there lived women who were not allowed to be liked Shakti, the omnipotent mother goddess everyone worshipped. The scriptures gave them rights which social mores took away. They could listen but not speak, learn only to obey, be free but never choose, and make a home by staying in the shadows.

Only the legendary or the extraordinarily intrepid sometimes wrote their own destinies. The centuries were kind on the generations which followed, and things changed for the better. Grandmothers spoke of stories from their own experiences for, within the span of their own experiences for, within the span of their lifetimes, they had witnessed unimaginable changes. They saw child-marriages giving way to a general adherence to the legal age limits. They saw women set free from the zenana and the purdah. They saw widows being assimilated, instead of ostracised. They saw the end of sati and they saw education, suffrage and jobs being conferred on women.

Grandmothers, though they did not always approve, had seen the birth of the modern Indian woman. So, was this a happy ending?

Not really because for many it was not something to celebrate. And for many more the story was not yet over.

The Government of India has declared 2001 the Women’s Empowerment year. This is also the same government which is as confused as it is divided over the Women’s Reservation Bill which has been tabled in Parliament more than once but never been discussed, leave alone passed. The same repressive logic extends to women from all walks of life, even those increasing numbers of the substantial middle-class who have better access to education and employment. Religion and tradition, which glue this predominantly patrilineal and family-centric society together, tilt the scales overwhelmingly in favour of men.

Says Radha Venkat, an MBA from a premier business school, who draws a five-figure salary, "My parents spent no less on my studies than they would have if they had a son. I live with them and we are there for each other both psychologically and monetarily. But if I decide to get married, a series of boys will come and ‘see’ me. After one of them ‘approves’ of me, an extravagant wedding funded by my parents will follow with all of us bowing to please the groom’s side and my happily-ever-after is going to be spent working to keep the new family to which I ‘belong’ happy."

Women like Radha, though not hopeful of any alternatives, hold out longer — taking the middle-class average marrying age to figures higher than ever before.

But those who decide to follow the traditional, arranged marriage path discover that double standards do exist. Explains Gita Nath, "I have to be ‘homely’, that is, not be outspoken or argumentative but at the same time I must be articulate enough to mingle at parties. I must serve the family elders — and be respectfully obedient — as well as I handle my bank accounts or drive. I can keep my job but I am answerable when it comes to how much I spend. How can I be two different personalities at the same time? And yet, that is what is expected of me.

Regardless of better opportunities, the ideal of equal rights remains a mirage. The euphemistic political correctness of being a ‘homemaker’ usually has the women toeing the male line — they cook, dress and spend (both time and money) in a manner that is insidiously subservient to the traditionally male head of the family.

They are feted as nurturers and keep bending to accept the multiple designations of mother/sister/wife/daughter. And those who would prefer to craft their own identities are liable to be held responsible for social ills ranging from the breakup of the joint family to the incidence of formerly unheard of divorce. ‘Modern’ is often used as a disparaging adjective, particularly by those who stand to lose if the status quo is disturbed.

Women who work cope with the twin jobs of managing home and office often find that, for the female breadwinner, money is not equal to power. At home they cook labour-intensive traditional meals, take care of the children and the elderly as well as turn into everything from the cleaner to the hostess. Sharing of duties by husbands is sporadic, if not non-existent.

Once in the office, they try hard to avoid longer hours, working weekends and outstation transfers without offending bosses who are apt to stereotype assessments. Many like Pooja Singh find the going physically tough and mentally exhausting. Says she, "There is barely enough time to sleep, forget other personal pursuits. And to top everything, there is this nagging sense of guilt about not doing enough of anything."

At the bottom of all the frustration is that impossible question, "What am I getting out of all this?" And the answer lies in the essentially Indian ethos of duty-consciousness. Most women cannot get around to asking "What about me?" because they get waylaid by the preceding "What about my children?" and "What about my family?’ And family includes the maternal homes they are loath to embarrass or burden.

Even as changes are wrenched (albeit slowly) from reluctant chauvinists, the boat is being rocked only ever so gently. The ripples are inoffensive and are meant be so. And for those who soldier on in the search of a happy ending, all the while complaining that it isn’t going to happen in their lifetimes, there are still those dearly-loved Grandmothers who start off on comparative stories of before-and-after. And as always, a temporary silence follows the Once upon a time... WFS