Stressed-out Superwomen
Shakuntala Dawesar
NOBODY disputes the fact that the pace of life, at least in metropolitan India, has increased dramatically. Competition, taking part in the race to reach the top and leading a hectic social life have changed lifestyles and priorities. And while many of us do not notice these changes, the effort required to cope with this lifestyle does take a toll on the human body and manifests itself in the form of stress.

Spreading Sunshine
Deepti Gupta
FIRST there came IQ or intelligence quotient. Eynseck became a household name. Mental agility-ability books flooded the market. Memory-Aids, NCERT devised tests became a must for all conscientious parents. 

Stressed-out Superwomen
Shakuntala Dawesar

NOBODY disputes the fact that the pace of life, at least in metropolitan India, has increased dramatically. Competition, taking part in the race to reach the top and leading a hectic social life have changed lifestyles and priorities.

And while many of us do not notice these changes, the effort required to cope with this lifestyle does take a toll on the human body and manifests itself in the form of stress. Stress can be physical. Physical stress is the easiest to explain because it is caused by bodily ailments, injuries, or surgery and can be overcome by appropriate medical care.

Mental stress, on the other hand, arises to factors outside one’s control and can be triggered of by simple things like dealing with a traffic-jam on the way to work, non-functioning telephones or power-cuts.

Emotional stress, which many find the most difficult to handle, is most often caused by inter-personal clashes and misunderstandings, inefficiency, inadequacy in dealing with the many tasks at hand and inept handling of situations. Emotional stress often manifests itself as outbursts of temper and inconsistent behaviour.

The effects of stress — physical, mental or emotional — vary from individual to individual depending on his or her coping mechanisms.

There may, however, be overlapping symptoms and most people under stress often complain of similar problems like loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, fatigue, increased acidity and gastric problems, headache, vague aches and pains and a general sense of unease.

The situation, however, is a little different when it comes to stress and the middle income group. This is so because this group is the most stretched economically as it always finds it difficult to afford the lifestyle that it yearns for. Being educated, the priorities of expenditure are such that the money the family earns is spent sooner than it is earned. Worrying about maintaining a particular standard of living, which may well be beyond its means, is another reason for stress amongst this group. The working woman in this group is under greater stress than her male counterpart because of the traditional thinking that it is the woman who, besides going out and earning, also has to look after all domestic chores. It is the woman who is expected to look after the domestic chores, manage the household and be the willing partner in bed. And she has to do all this in addition to playing the perfect hostess when necessary and be a willing companion. Also, she has to do all this in addition to attending to the pressures of a regular job.

The middle class woman is, in actual fact, expected to be, and often is, a superwoman who struggles to cope with all the roles she plays.

To make matters worse, she also has to play the role of a ‘woman’ which involves coping with the physical and physiological states which vary during different phases of her life and even during different times of the same month. Menstrual, pre-menstrual, ante-natal, post-natal and peri — and post-menopausal phases may each, in their own way, affect a woman’s sense of wellbeing.

There are various ways in which a woman can deal with stress, and what is more important, even enjoy life. And this can be achieved by following some simple tips. Good nutrition and avoiding junk food grabbed on the run is essential for a healthy, stress-free life. In addition, adequate sleep and leisure — both on a daily basis as well as a break from the routine is an excellent way to re-charge one’s batteries. Exercise, in harmony with age and general health is another must for coping with stress. This could range from brisk walks and yoga, to more vigorous aerobic exercise, swimming or workouts in the gym. Meditation on a regular basis is another coping mechanism for those with emotionally and mentally stressed lives.

Small steps in the daily routine can go far in managing stress. For instance, a woman can take out time every morning to make a note of all that she has to do during the course of the day. The errands she has to run, the purchases she has to make, the phone calls she needs to attend to and the bills that she has to pay.

Once this list is drawn, the activities can be prioritised and she can decide which of these she needs to handle on her own and which she can delegate to others. For instance, while she is cooking, she can ask her husband to attend to the phone calls or write out the cheques for the bills that need to be paid. She can also involve other members of the house in doing simple things such as shelling peas, cutting vegetables and sorting the laundry.

The trick here is to delegate one duty to one person at one time and to restrain from starting a tirade of complaints like, “No one helps me and I work like a slave.”

Moreover, what should not be forgotten is that most stresses are either related to money or work. Hence realistic budgeting and allocation of duties is vital for the smooth functioning of the home. It is worth spending some time and effort together with the spouse and children, if they are grown up enough (teens and above) in making the family budget.

It would also help if working women first tackle the stress at home, before they move on to handling the pressures of their jobs. A chaotic home environment causes escalation of stress that has been carried back from the office. This manifests itself as easy annoyance at the slightest provocation and losing of tempers leading to verbal tirades, making the home a battlefield and thus further increasing stress.(WFS)

— (The author is a medical doctor practicing in New Delhi)

Spreading Sunshine
Deepti Gupta

FIRST there came IQ or intelligence quotient. Eynseck became a household name. Mental agility-ability books flooded the market. Memory-Aids, NCERT devised tests became a must for all conscientious parents. There were workshops at work, discussions at parent-teacher meetings, bombardments from all newspapers and magazines on how to be the proud owner of a high intelligent quotient. Even the foetus in the womb was not spared, would-be mothers were constantly pelted with advice on how to read and listen to literature targeted at producing a baby with a high IQ.

The IQ era led to highly competitive children, on-edge professionals and stressed-out parents. Just when the IQ storm had died down enough to allow some play and a sigh of relief, along came EQ, or emotional quotient with its emphasis on maintaining composure, keeping cool, relating to people, parenting tips on raising relaxed kids and learning to be happy. All of a sudden, an article in a magazine told you that you were stressed, your spouse suffered from performance-anxiety and your children had nerves frazzled due to the stress you gave them over results, all in one breath!

And now, just when you’ve finished ticking the multiple-choice questionnaire to find out how stressed you are, along comes another mantra to help you on the path of evolution towards becoming a better human being SQ, or spiritual quotient. Reiki, Art of Living, Pranic Healing, Meditation and Inner Space— one must be familiar with one at least in order to be fit for polite company. Prayer beads, weird herbs, aromatherapy, water-therapy, these are just a few of the self-help devices on the SQ path.

The major part of the onus for keeping up with these trends has always been the woman’s; as wife, mother and homemaker, as a daughter and a sister, too. The point at issue is not whether she can live upto and maintain these trends, the fact that has always gone unnoticed is that women have had, have and will continue to have the power to enrich life and make the world a better place with or without these mantras.

So far, in the Indian context, a woman continues to play the key role in her home. With her stepping out in a big way into the professional world, she can make a difference to the macrocosm beyond the four walls as well. By making an effort to keep the environment around her cheerful and full of life, she can infuse a lot of charm and happiness into every life she touches. It could be something as simple as a vase of flowers on the office table or a difficult task like counselling a colleague in trouble. An ordinary gesture like driving an old couple in the neighbourhood to the bank or playing cricket with her son’s team are actions that go a long way towards spreading sunshine. These little things look little, but are activities that give meaning to this life. There are so many other things which are waiting for a woman’s special touch.

In order to help others and spread happiness, she has to first be at peace with herself and her surroundings. Any woman who has gone through the process of childbirth will agree that the repository of a woman’s patience and endurance is, indeed, large. The only snag is that it is allowed to rust and go waste. It can be kept active by doing a few simple things. Each day, she must set aside some time for herself. It could be anything from twenty minutes to an hour, as per individual cases. This slot of time must go into doing something she enjoys; walking, reading, listening to music, cooking, whatever. The important point is that it should be an enjoyable activity which makes one sit up and exclaim, “Yes! I love life!” While this patch of time will bring a break in the dull monotony of routine, it will also make strong the conviction that life is too short to be wasted needlessly in stress and strain. Looking forward to this time with oneself also leads to a lot of introspection and reassessment vis-à-vis the goals in life, both short-term and long-term. Each day’s good and bad areas can be examined and one can learn to take everything in one’s stride.

The crucial realisation that life brings sooner or later is that it is not something that lasts forever. Once this fact is accepted and made a part of one’s psyche, each moment of life becomes significant. So many times one loses people on the way, with so many things unsaid. Without getting morbid, give importance to every human contact as a rare opportunity granted by life to connect with another person. Leave an impression, an impact on every life you touch and you will find your own life constantly enriched and rejuvenated.

With her stepping out in a big way into the professional world, she can make a difference to the macrocosm beyond the four walls as well. A woman can infuse a lot of charm and happiness into every life she touches.