The Tribune, Chandigarh, India

Learning in Fear

A teacher’s attitude can make or mar a child’s personality. Children who’ve been abused psychologically or physically, often grow up to be maladjusted adults, writes Aradhika Sekhon

“Till today whenever I think of Mr Chauhan my heart fills up with hatred for him. I often wish I would come across him again and ask him why did he do what he did. Unfortunately— fortunately for him— this has never happened”, says Shefali Chopra, remembering her schooldays. Mr Chauhan was the principal of the school in which she studied. “He hated me and made it a point to target me all the time, in assembly, in class, in the corridor. I was a good student— popular with other kids and with the teachers— but this guy made life in school hell for me. It wasn’t even that I was little or anything. I was in the twelfth standard but I just suffered the humiliation quietly”.

Prabha’s eight-year-old son was in tears one Sunday night. “He’d been upset the whole evening but at bed-time, he really started howling. When I asked him to tell me the problem, he said his maths teacher would punish him the next day in class because he hadn’t done well in his test. Good marks would get claps while bad marks begot slaps”. The child was terrified of going to the school he had hitherto loved.

Monica (name changed), who later topped GND University in MA English, has a similar incident to recount about her English teacher, Mrs Dey, who taught her in Class VIII. “I always loved English and was much ahead of my group in reading and other stuff also but I knew that Mrs Dey hated me. She had the habit of asking students to learn a poem and then recite it. But when it would be my turn, she would stand next to me, looking at me piercingly and willing me to forget—and I’d open my mouth and not a sound would emerge. Not a word. Till today I wonder just what her problem with me was”.

“We talk about teachers as builders of the nation, influencing the lives of students in their formative years. They’re builders and creators alright but, knowingly or unknowingly, many times they are responsible for ruining lives too. The psyche of a child requires subtle treatment so that he should not develop any complexes which may persist throughout his life”, says Mrs Indu Maitra, Principal, Sri Aurobindo School of Integrated Education. The student-teacher relationship is a primary relationship. After leaving his home environment, the child goes straight to school. The inputs that his psyche gets there can make or mar the child’s personality for life, for those are his formative years. A teacher doesn’t probably even realise the importance he has in the life of the student. Of course one does hear a lot about the indiscipline in kids today but the same bunch of kids might be raging monsters in one teacher’s class and lambs in another. One reason for this could be the reign of terror the latter unleashes. Another could simply be that the teacher is approachable, reasonable and understanding.

An intimidating teacher is capable of making life miserable for a student. She can put the child off a subject forever— fear of the teacher naturally gets transferred to the subject. She can make school an institution of punishment to be suffered rather than a place of learning and interaction.

The child is just not equipped to handle pressures of this kind. Indeed, the trauma of this abuse that the child suffers in school, may scar him for life. The question then arises that why don’t most children who suffer at the hands of their teachers tell their parents. Experts say this uncommunicative behaviour could be due to our punitive child-rearing practice and the authoritarian treatment of children by their parents in the Indian society. In a study conducted at Chandigarh between 1996 and 1997, it was found that 98.3 per cent of the parents were in favour of physical punishment. If a child does not abide by the dictates of adults or commits mistakes, physical punishment is considered by the overwhelming majority to be the best way to discipline and correct a child. Out of the 187 schoolchildren aged between 6 and 10, 160 of them received beatings at home. In this scenario, the child gets conditioned to being subjugated to adult authority. Ultimately, it is a power–equation, with the adult in a winning position in our adult-centric society.

Very often the power to punish the child is vested in the teacher by the parents themselves. Teachers often get requests to punish so-and-so child because he’s indisciplined, a non-performer, does not eat his tiffin! Performance at any cost is the aim of such parents.

Says Mrs Sikka, Head of the English Department at St Soldier International School, “The worst is that these teachers probably never realise the colossal damage and trauma they cause to the child. To them, it’s probably just strictness, or reforming or correcting ....” The odds against Mr Chauhan remembering Shefali or Mrs Dey remembering Monica are slender indeed.

Children who’ve been abused — psychologically or physically — are likely to have learning difficulties and increased behavioural and emotional problems. Most of them have low self-esteem and may be anxious, unhappy and socially withdrawn. When they are actually undergoing the trauma inflicted by teachers, they feel hate, they feel fear.

Corrective steps

A teacher performance report to be filled in by students could be a positive step towards assessment of teachers. Heads of schools, principals, administrators and social workers must look into this aspect of schooling seriously.
Parents shouldn’t quietly accept what is doled out to their children in school just because they are being educated there.
Parents must not instil fear in the child.
They must listen to their kids and then stand up for them so that the latter do not suffer unnecessary trauma.

REFLECTIONS

Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too,

I was not watching for you."

We were very polite, the stranger and I

We went on our ways and we said good bye.

But at home, a different story is told.

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down,

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken,

I didn’t realise, how harshly I had spoken.

While I lay awake in the bed,

God’s voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

But the children you love, you seem to abuse,

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You’ll find some flowers there by the door,

Those are the flowers, he bought for you,

He picked them himself, pink, yellow and blue."

By this time, I felt very small,

and now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed,

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found them, out by the tree.

I picked them, because they’re pretty like you,

I know you would like them, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today,

I should not have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that’s okay,

I love you any way."

I said, "Son, love you too,

and I like the flowers, especially the blue."

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could replace us in a matter of days?But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it we pour ourselves more into work than to our family

An unwise investment indeed, don’t you think? So what is behind the story? Do you know what the word family means: (F) ather (a)nd (M)other (I) (L)ove (Y)ou.

(Downloaded from the Net by Arshdeep, Class XI, Modi College, Patiala)

TELL ME WHY

Why do teachers indulge in favouritism?

— An upset student

Teachers respond:

Most teachers do not insist on quality, but only on blind obedience. They do not like anyone to question them.

Charanjit Bajwa, Headmistress of a govt school in Patiala district.

If you know someone inside out, it’s natural to get biased.

Harvinder, teacher, Tiny Tots School, SAS Nagar

All my students are my favourites. Will you call that favouritism".

Ravinder, Spring Valley School, Phase 7, SAS Nagar.

I don’t think teachers indulge in favouritism at all. It just seems so to the students.

Ram Kumari, St Marks Public School, Sector 22.

It’s human nature, one tends to pick and choose some students whom you like more than others.

Swati, Government Senior Secondary School, Sector 20.

Why are students so rowdy and ill-mannered?

— A piqued teacher

Students respond:

Teachers get what they deserve, for they are contemptuous of the students. You cannot demand respect, you have to command it with your behaviour.

Megha, Class XI, Govt Model Senior Secondary School, Sector 16

There are very few teachers who show patience. They just like to order students about.

Shilpi, Class XI, Govt Model Senior Secondary School, Sector 16

Kya karen control nahin hota hai

Monika, Class VII, Gyan Jyoti School, Chandigarh.

We never misbehave in the class, we are only noisy in the games period.

Vivek, Class X, St Marks Public School, Chandigarh.

I am not rowdy ever. Ma'm is.

Gurpreet, Class IV, Spring Valley Public School, SAS Nagar.

We are not ill-mannered at all. It’s natural for children to be loud and free.

Geetika, Class VIII, Govt Senior Secondary School, Sector 35.