 |
 |
ASK a mother if she has favourities amongst her children and the chances are she won’t admit, even to herself, that there is one who is special for her. But in spite of her apparently equal treatment there could be a child who accuses her of being partial. Is playing favourites then such a bad thing? Don’t bosses have blue-eyed boys, brothers pet cousin sisters, and gurus pampered shishyas? If its all right to have a favourite dish, restaurant, actor, dress and friend, why can’t one play favourites at the work place or home? Management gurus advise against the practice of having favourites. They feel it can prove to be dangerous and, in the long term, counter productive to the efficiency of common goals and objectives. While it is natural to be favourably inclined to one or a few within the set-up, you must be fair and neutral while taking decisions This way you are above manipulation and sycophancy. You remain centered and grounded. This is why a fair and just leader is always virtuous. He neither rejects responsibilities nor is concerned about his personal interest. He practises what he preaches and allows the same set of rules to be operative for him which he sets for others. He openly asks people for suggestions, adivice and reactions, and when they contradict him he accepts the opinion of the majority. People around him are confident for they can speak their minds without facing his displeasure. They also know that if they have a problem he will hear them out without any preconceived notions, and when he speaks his mind they can trust his judgement. Even if he doesn’t like someone, he would never victimise. |
|||||||||
| The wise leader does not impose a personal
agenda or value system on the group. He follows the
group’s lead, and accepts whatever emerges from the
process. He judges no one, and is attentive to both
‘good’ and ‘bad’ people. He knows
that being open and attentive is more effective than
being judgmental. It is his conviction that people
naturally tend to be good and truthful when they are
being received in a good and truthful manner. He may
appear to be naive and childlike in this uncritical
‘unworldly’ openness to whatever emerges but
ultimately it proves to be more potent. Judgmental behaviour eventually breaks up team unity. The ‘chosen one’ becomes an indicator of one’s personal judgment. There are times when a favourite is undeserving of the boss’s generosity and special attention. But since he is incompetent there is a direct reflection on the boss’s own sense of judgment and wisdom. People who get into the ‘favourite’ slot advertently or inadvertently tend to do things which the boss would like. Over a period of time the boss could fail to notice a bad decision, a wrong advice or an incorrect action. All of this could have serious repercussions on the overall functioning of the set-up which could be an office, family unit, school or even politics. According to Tao philosophy, it is not the leader’s role to play judge and jury, to punish people for ‘bad’ behaviour. They feel that punishment itself does not effectively control behaviour. Even if punishment did work, would a leader dare use fear as a teaching method? The wise leader knows that there are natural consequences of every act. The task is to shed light on them without attacking the behaviour itself. If the leader tries to take the place of nature and act as judge and jury, the best that an be expected is a crude imitation of a very subtle process. At the very least, he will discover that the instrument of justice cuts both ways. Punishing others is itself punishing work. Every act rewards itself. Cause and effect, means and ends, seeds and fruit cannot be separated ‘For the effect already blooms in the cause, the end pre-exists in the means, the fruit in the seed.’ Even when one has been publicly denounced, one must not lose confidence in oneself. Public opinion is said to be a weak tyrant compared to our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself is what determines his fate. If it is any consolation let the reality sink in that the world is not always fair, it was not meant to be. How else would you explain a good person going through such misery and torture at the hands of his family and society? How does an honest person get punished by the very court of law which is meant to safeguard his interests? How a faithful, sacrificing wife has to suffer a spouse who is anything but that? This does not mean that we combat every unfair situation with bigger unfairness. We have to maintain little courtrooms in our own heads. We have to play the role of judge, lawyer, defender and opponent ourselves. Without causing deliberate hurt to others, we have to live our lives by introspecting and questioning ourselves at regular intervals, making necessary changes if need be. We would like to believe that goodness ought to be rewarded with greater goodness, justice with greater justice and kindness with even bigger doses of kindness. We must accept the reality that we cannot win over everyone’s heart and mind. There are bound to be people who are jealous, resentful, envious and scheming. We cant’s win them all. More importantly, we don’t need to win them all. Instead we must learn to protect ourselves from slights, insults, propaganda and malice and continue to do what we think is correct. Whenever we make an unjust move we must have the strength to confront and accept it. If possible undo the damage and apologise to the person concerned. There is no bigger justice than that. This is not to say that one must not retaliate when unfair odds are against us. Remember, a perfect lover is also a perfect warrior. People who are fair and just have faith in others and their capabilities. They treat people as they would want to be treated by them. They don’t jump to hasty conclusion, and are not insecure about themselves. When Gregory Peck was asked why he agreed to star in the film Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn, a raw actress, he said without any airs and attitude, "My motive was a selfish one. She was so brilliant and promising. I knew when the film would be released she would be an instant star, and in this case the very reason for the movie to be a success. So ultimately I also emerged the winner, being a part of the winning team." |
 |
 |
