New cell phone

MORRIS a young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife Sherry something nice for their first wedding anniversary.

So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Sherry, the blonde, goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband Morris, "Hi honey, "he says, "How do you like your new phone?"

"I just love it, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor?"

Farmer Joe’s accident

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?" asked the lawyer.

"I didn’t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?".

Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, "I’d like to hear what he has to say."

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her."

"How are you feeling ?"

(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)